


Because She Died

by SquareFriend



Category: Undertale
Genre: Character Study, Depression, Discription of a corpse, Emotional Manipulation, Everybody has a lot of issues but it’s ok, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extreme emotional distress, Grieving, Major Depressive Episode, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, Papyrus (Undertale) Knows More Than He Lets On, Papyrus (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Papyrus (Undertale)-centric, Post-Undertale Neutral Route, Queen Undyne Ending, Sans also needs a hug, Self Loathing, Skeletons have claws, There’s some comedy too I promise it’s not all doom and gloom, Toxic Friendships, Undyne Needs A Hug, Undyne/Alphys (mentioned) - Freeform, fear mongering, long fic, mental health discussion, mentions of vomit, sans smokes, some serious shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 52,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27096028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquareFriend/pseuds/SquareFriend
Summary: A case study in grief.It’s been a year since the human tore thier path through the lives of countless monsters. Thankfully, the Underground has found herself a new queen, a ruthless one who will stop at nothing to free her people. Even if it means destroying whoever falls next.Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with this notion. In fact, Papyrus is incredibly against it. So against it in fact, that he and his brother decide the best option is to take a little ‘vacation’.After all, history has a tendency to repeat itself.
Comments: 58
Kudos: 89





	1. Stalemate

**Author's Note:**

> This one is going to be a doozie! Fair warning, this is my first ever fan fiction, and I would love some constructive critism. The next chapter should be out in about a week!

The barrier hummed, it’s raw power palpable in the small room it bordered. This room had always been quiet, surprising considering the pleasant bird songs of the throne room only a hallway away. But today it was particularly still. The remnants of a battle were strewn about the room. Spears had cracked the tile in some places, scratched it in others. Though, the most obvious sign, was the small body that lay in a heap beside the massive, humming wall. Either that, or the queen kneeling across from it.

Undyne sneered, wiping the blood from her gloves. A victory should be better than this. She should be celebrating, announcing to her people that they were one step closer to freedom. One down, six to go, right?

The small, broken body laid out before her begged to differ. The burning, yellow soul floating above it only left a bitter taste in her mouth. She snarled to herself, snapping it up into the jar made to hold it. It was so powerful for something so tiny. At least that’s what Alphys-

The queen shook her head, using the spear clutched in one hand to get to her feet. She didn’t care to admit how worn this battle had left her, but running around in heavy armour can do that to you. She lifted the jar, eyeing it tentatively as the spear in her hand slowly started to dissolve into loose magic. She had to clean this up before-

The sharp sound of shattering glass rang out from behind her.

Undyne whipped around, feeling her soul sink at the sight before her. Papyrus was stood at the entrance to the barrier room, hands clasped to his mouth and shaking. A broken tea pot lay at his feet, a puddle slowly spilling out onto the tile. The small tray it had been sitting on lay discarded to the side, along with the corpses of two teacups. Strange, how similar they were to the body behind her. 

Worst of all though, were her friend’s eyes. Wide, filled with fear and the slightest shimmer of disgust. Undyne couldn’t meet them, opting instead to eye his hands. Her shoulders sank, grimace widening as she lowered the container.

“Papyrus… I.... dammit” 

He took a step backwards. She followed, striding towards him. “Look…. Head home. I’ll clean this up, and then we can have some tea, ok?” She tried a smile, but that didn’t seem to work for either of them. Of course he was early. He was always early. Of course she had to finally ‘take care of business’ today of all days. Undyne could feel her fury starting to build up in her chest. She pushed it down, trying once more, “Papyrus please, I jus-“

“Why?” 

His voice rang out, face hardening as he spoke. The queen faltered, expression somehow turning even more sour. “Why? Why did you do that?” He repeated, voice growing in volume as his shock wore off. The skeleton took a step forward, brow knitting as he confronted his queen. 

Undyne snarled, eye narrowing as he got a little too close. “Why? Why?!” She growled, fins pressed sharply downwards, “I had to!”

“Did you?” His voice cracked, shaking nearly as much as his hands were. She was taken aback for a moment, before regaining her slowly fading reservation. “Well someone has to! How else are we going to get out of here?” She asked pointedly, growing less and less fond of this conversation by the second. 

Papyrus didn’t respond, brow bones furrowing together as he thought. She pushed past him, making her way to the small devices that held the now empty jars. Well, all but the one in her hands. 

“I…. I don’t know…. But mindless slaughter isn’t the answer!” He found his words, following her as he spoke. 

A dull click reverberated through the room as she shoved the jar into its rightful place. “Mindless slaughter?!” She snarled, turning sharply towards him, “Do you not remember what they’ve done to us? How many of our people have died by their hands?” The queen approached, rage bubbling in her chest.

“Well, not that one in particular!” He shouted back, undeterred from her attempts to stop this. The skeleton met her gaze, all fiddling and horror forgotten.

“Papyrus, it was dangerous! Who knows what it could’ve been capable of” She snarled, motioning to the body behind her, “It was a human!”

“They were a person!” He retorted, despitation seeping through his words, “And they did not deserve to die- no one needs to die!”

“That’s not how this works” She growled, voice lowering to her normal speaking tone but one hell of a lot sharper. “What am I supposed to do? Sit around here doing nothing until one does kill everyone? Or do something.” Undyne pushed   
past him once more, exiting the barrier room as the souls sank beneath the tile. 

This time, Papyrus was her pursuer. He strode after her, arms raised in exasperation, “But the last one-“ 

Undyne snapped around, stopping him in his tracks, “Killed Asgore. And several citizens. And got away with it.” She growled, “And so will the next one. Unless I do something about it.” 

“How does that make you any better?!” He retorted, arms raising slightly in his exasperation. 

She snapped. 

The skeleton barely got out a yelp before she grabbed him. Before either of them knew it, Undyne had him by the scarf, dangling his face close to her teeth. “How DARE-“

The queen caught herself, eye pinpricking as she half dropped half set down the skeleton. She heaved a sigh, backing away from him while she quelled the inferno in her chest.

Papyrus staggered, eyes still wide with a renewed shock. He feebly adjusted his scarf, brow bones furrowing as he processed what had just happened.

“Go home Papyrus.” She finally spoke, her voice low and cold. She laid a hand on the doorway into the throne room, now turned away from her friend. She wondered if she could still call him that. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Papyrus approached, brow bones almost certainly furrowed. He was going to finish this, “But I-“

She never gave him the chance. “Go home.” The queen repeated, a sharper tone to her words. It was no longer a request.

Papyrus let out a defeated noise. She still couldn’t see what he was doing, but she could guess it had something to do with rubbing his nasal cavity and lightly pacing. He always did that when upset. 

All of a sudden, the skeleton pushed her arm out of the way. Undyne watched him go from the doorway, snarl sinking into a grimace. He stomped past the flowers, being sure to not step on any of them. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t wince at the sound of the door slamming behind him.

She’d be even more of a liar if she’s said she hadn’t noticed the pinpricks of tears starting to form at the edges of his eye sockets. 

A groan escaped her lips. The queen ambled over to her throne, sinking into it. She slowly slid a hand down her face, wiping the beads of sweat from her brow. 

God. She had to get out of this armour.


	2. IMPETUOUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impetuous - adjective - A rash and impulsive action or decision.
> 
> Usually results in dire circumstance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tags are coming into play here. Have fun :)

The water lapped against the wooden boat as they drifted down an ancient channel. Papyrus fiddled with his scarf, readjusting it for probably the billionth time since he had departed from the throne room. It had been an unpleasant, borderline run through New Home, followed by an even worse walk to the ferryman’s post in Hotland.

And now here he was, sat on the boat with hot, angry tears running down his skull and too many feelings to process swirling within his chest. Papyrus should have seen this coming. Undyne had always had a temper. She was known for it after all. But, he had stupidly thought that even she wouldn’t go to these extremes. Certainly not after what had happened last time a human showed up! He found himself wondering once again why she absolutely refused to listen to him.

The skeleton readjusted his scarf again. The back of his neck still hurt from being yanked around so roughly. His brow bones furrowed further, remembering the flames in her eyes as she held him, as if she were about to tear him apart. He had been scared of her for that split second. 

Were those eyes the last thing that that poor human had seen?

He shook his head abruptly, trying to flush down his anger with reason. No. Undyne was a good person before and she certainly could be again. Even if she had murdered a child-

Nono, that thinking wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He had to look on the bright side. He could stop this from happening again. Right? He had to stop this from happening again. Maybe if he-

His thoughts were interrupted by the startling realization that the ferry was slowing. The water was glassy, all but the small ripples caused by the slow glide of the gandala. They had entered a narrow cavern, with a low and starry ceiling. The water had a slight but hypnotic blue glow and a few chunks of frozen water. They must’ve been leaving Waterfall. 

Almost home. 

He fixed his scarf again, attention suddenly drawing to the ferryman. Their haunting rowing melody had shifted, forming into words. Words directed at no one in particular…. 

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were speaking to him. 

“Temptation lies swift after tragedy~” 

They crooned, before returning to their familiar tune. Then, with a flick of the wrist, they thrust the oar back into the water and pushed the gondola foreword. The glassy water shattered, forming small waves on the edge of the boat. 

The skeleton shook his head slightly, brow bones furrowing as he tried to decipher what had just happened. He racked his brain, remembering old wives tales from grade school about scary things that happened out on the waters. 

He’d have to think on this later, he had more important things to focus on. The skeleton feverishly wiped at his tears, trying to get his thoughts back in order. 

As if they were ever in order to begin with. 

He shook his head again, forcing any troublesome thought further into his subconscious where they belonged. In all the confusion, frustration, and sorrow he could only conjure up one thought. One thought that burned in his skull, sending tremors through his spine and into his hands. 

What was he going to do now?

Something. 

Though admittedly, the skeleton was staggered by what that something was and could be. He had tried something back at the throne room but… it hadn’t worked out. 

And he still wasn’t entirely sure what he had even tried to do. 

Papyrus sighed, massaging the side of his skull. There had to be a solution. This was just like a big puzzle. A big, complicated, bloody puzzle. And he just had to find the solution. He just had to. He readjusted his scarf-

And nearly ripped the wretched thing from his neck. It only tightened, leaving him uncomfortable and feverishly readjusting it. He needed to breathe. He needed to calm down. He was just getting worked up again. He just needed to-

He was stricken by the sudden realization that he was crying again. Papyrus sighed, tugging his knees to his chest and lightly hitting his skull against them. He felt utterly pathetic.

No. He shouldn’t think that way. He was great after all. And he could do this. 

Whatever this was…

His thoughts were intruded once again by the ferryman’s song. Er, well the lack of it to be precise. He was startled to discover they were pulling into the station next to Snowden. It seemed his little journey was over. 

Papyrus stepped off the boat, feeling the snow crunch beneath his boots. He gave the ferryman a half hearted wave before departing further into the frozen landscape. He could faintly hear their soft tune as the boat glided through the surf. And just like that, the skeleton was alone. A shiver ran up his spine, and he tried to convince himself it was from the cold. 

He hurriedly wiped his tears again, using his scarf to aid. The good thing about Snowden was that one’s face was always wet from the constant snowing, so it was hard to tell if you’d been crying. At least, he hoped it’d be hard to tell. Straightening himself, and begrudgingly fixing his scarf again, the skeleton plastered on a smile and got ready to face the town. 

He’d have more time to think at home.

—————

It was a swift walk to the house with only a few interruptions. A wave here, a friendly smile there, just holding it together before he pushed open the door and-

Was rather surprised by what greeted him. 

The smell of slightly over brewed coffee was emanating from the kitchen, along with the sound of a chair being drug away from its place at the table. 

Papyrus felt his shoulders relax a little, a small bit of relief flooding his system. Though, it was quickly overtaken by the dread still swirling in his chest. Sans didn’t need any more things to worry about right now. Papyrus shouldn’t bother him with this massive headache he’d stumbled into. 

And still, he found himself walking across the living room. At the very least he should check in on his brother right?

After all, they had barely seen each other for the past three days. Between how busy he’d been as of late and Sans’s new found habit of hiding out in his room, the brothers hadn’t been hanging around each other nearly as much as they used to. 

These thoughts mingled in Papyrus’s head as he strode into the kitchen, finally confirming his suspicions. His brother was on his side of the table, half leaning on it. The smaller skeleton’s eyes were half lidded, eyelights still somewhat bleary with sleep. Papyrus tried to ignore the fact that he was still wearing last week’s clothes. 

Sans hated it when he asked.

Before Papyrus had time to call out a greeting (then make a hasty getaway to his room), his brother noticed him. A slightly bewildered expression crossed his face for just a second, before returning to it’s usual relaxed position. “‘sup” He mused, leaning back in his chair, “what’s got ya so rattled?”

That was the precise moment Papyrus realized that he was still shaking. Frustration seemed to still be getting the better of him. The skeleton mustered an eye roll, about as much indulgence he could manage for his brother at the moment. 

“That was awful and you know it.” He retorted, fiddling with his scarf. Again. Papyrus briefly considered lying, or diverting the subject. But that wouldn’t do either of them good. He just couldn’t let on too much. “But, if you must know…” He finally added, glancing away from his brother’s expectant eyes, “Undyne and I may have gotten into quite a tiff.” 

“oh?” Sans asked, raising his brow bones slightly. He reached over, and Papyrus finally noticed the source of the smell. 

There was an old, chipped cup of coffee, as well as several ‘add ons’ laid out beside his brother. Most noticeably: a can of sprinkles, a few bottles of condiments, and a small can of whipped cream. The taller skeleton shuddered slightly, not even wanting to think what all had gone into that mug. 

Sans took a long drink of what could barely still be considered coffee. Papyrus could still feel his brother’s eyes on him, trying to figure him out. The taller skeleton shifted in place, wondering if he should just head up to his room. It was getting harder and harder to keep the smile up and pretend everything was alright. 

He just had to keep his mouth shut for a little longer. 

Finally, his brother piped up, placing down his mug as he spoke “.... that bad huh?” His voice had shifted slightly, softer and with a gentle tone to it. Papyrus nodded sharply, crossing his arms. It was a feeble attempt to make his hands stop shaking once and for all.

The taller skeleton desperately looked for a lie, a good down play on what was going on. But, he came up blank. Sans didn’t need to know about this. Sans didn’t need to worry. Sans didn’t need any more worry. 

The past year had been bad enough. His brother had just shut down one day. Barely leaving his room, sleeping FAR too much, hardly eating… It had just become a new normal no matter how hard Papyrus tried to help. 

Sans didn’t need his little brother’s stupid issues on top of that. 

Papyrus just needed to get out of there. He could think about what to do and how to fix all of this. He didn’t need to get his brother involved. No one else needed to get hurt. 

So what if Sans probably already knew something was off. So what if he probably knew that Undyne had collected her first soul. So what if Papyrus was so frustrated he wanted to scream or hit a wall or do anything else. So what if-

Papyrus was knocked out of his thoughts by a firm grip on his arm. Sans was gazing up at him, brow bones slightly furrowed and eye lights shining with worry. “hey. are you ok?” He asked, still keeping a firm, but gentle grip on Papyrus. 

The taller skeleton tensed. That…. That was a difficult question to answer. 

He just shouldn’t. 

He should stay quiet. 

He was the rock his brother needed. 

He should-

No. This wouldn’t help either of them. The pleading look in his brother’s eyes were enough evidence that this was just stressing him out more. 

So Papyrus relented. 

“I… No. No I am not” The taller skeleton sighed, voice shaking ever so slightly. His shoulders sagged, arms finally dropping from their former crossed position. Sans’ expression remained stagnant, though a hint of relief seemed to flash in his eyes. 

Sans made a quick grab for Papyrus’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before leading him back towards the table. The shorter skeleton took his seat, eyes still tilted towards his brother. 

Papyrus followed suit, pulling out his own chair alittle too roughly. He couldn’t help but feel a slight bit of relief sink into his bones, Sans could help him figure out what his next move could be. 

What other choice did either of them have?

Once again, the skeleton’s thoughts were interrupted by his brother. This time it was the soft clink of a mug hitting the table, followed by an even softer, “so…. what’s goin’ on?”

Papyrus fiddled with the edge of the table, brow bones sinking further. He took a minute to find the right words. 

“Undyne did something… really terrible.” He finally settled on, feeling his shoulders starting to tense again, “And… I don’t know what to do.”

Papyrus felt a small squeeze on his hand, a silent invitation to keep going, someone was here to listen.

He took it, the frustration of the day’s events starting to bubble over inside his chest. 

“I just… I just... I don’t understand what she was thinking! They didn’t hurt anyone. They JUST tried to get home. And she-“ He involuntarily waved his free hand in a dramatic gesture, emphasizing each word. “-She… She murdered them!”

Suddenly, he was on his feet again. “And- And she’ll do it again! I know she will. As soon as the next one comes, they will meet the EXACT same fate. Unless I do something about it!”

He was pacing now, hands waving as he talked. The skeleton could feel himself getting worked up again. This time he didn’t fight it, using the frustration to carry what was starting to turn into a rant. 

“I just need to figure out what that something is. And soon. So I can stop this from ever happening again.” He finished, finally taking a minute to breathe and gage his brother’s reaction. 

The small skeleton was still at the table, expression as stagnant as always. Now though, there was something in his eyes, brow bones ever so slightly furrowed. Papyrus recognized that face.

He started to feel the pinpricks of apprehension on his neck. 

Sans always wore it when they used to work in puzzles together, or when working on a particularly tough math problem. 

The taller skeleton felt some of his frustration melt away, waiting in stark anticipation for his older brother’s input. 

Finally, Sans shifted in his seat, eyelights rising to his meet brother’s sockets. 

“well… i think i know a place”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo!! Sorry this took slightly longer than intended my original release date was going to be yesterday but I got in my own head and decided to make cover art. Oh!! Not to self promote or anything but!! I have a Tumblr that posts cover art for the chapters and additional art (I’m squarefriend btw, blog name is Yeah, I Still Like Undertale). So check that out if you’d like!!!
> 
> Dialogue is not my forte and I’m trying to get better at it. So, I hope it wasn’t too bad :D 
> 
> Next chapter next weekend. Have a lovely day :D


	3. knock knock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans has a bad time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t find a way to bring it up organically in the story, but I want you all to know Papyrus is wearing cargo pants this entire chapter. And most likely will for the rest of the fic :)

It was midnight last time he’d checked. Sans sighed to himself, guessing it had to be about 12:30 by now. They were making good time. Probably. They still had several hours to go before anyone noticed they were gone, but the skeleton still found himself keeping an eye out for any other late night travelers. 

The brothers had been sure to take a confusing path, mixing in several unneeded turns and twists. Add in a few shortcuts and a fresh day’s snow that had already started to fall…

They’d made sure it would be hell to track them.

And yet they still walked in silence, eyes peeled for the slightest movement. The trees bordering the sides of the path didn’t help to quell the tense air. Snowden’s forests were known for their vastness. Barren, yet tightly clumped trees stretched beside them, posing a perfect place to hide. 

He should know. Back in the day, he’d used to use the wood’s edge as a good napping spot. 

Sans shifted uncomfortably in his boots, pushing those memories from his mind. Boots. Those were new. It had to have been at least a year since he had actually worn anything other than his slippers. 

Which was why he couldn’t bring them with him. 

Didn’t want the dogs to get too good a reference after all. Which unfortunately meant quite a few sacrifices. One look at his brother could prove that. 

The taller skeleton was hovering on top of the snow a few feet away, playing with his bag’s straps as they walked. Every once in a while he would shift, adjusting his bandana uncomfortably. It had been ages since Sans had seen him without his ‘battle body’. Then again, it had been ages since he and his brother had actually seen eachother. That was, besides the occasional knock on the door or some small talk around the house. 

It was his own fault. He just couldn’t find it within himself to do much of anything anymore. Unfortunately keeping up with his brother fell under that category.

The past 8 hours had been the most active he’d been since… 

He tried not to think about that. 

About her.

About how she’d stopped talking to him one day. About his sneaking suspicion of where she had gone. About whether it was worse that they were behind this or that she had finally grown tired of him. About-

Oh. They were at his station. 

It was similar to how he’d left it, though admittedly far more rundown. The snow had built up on the roof, eventually managing to pile up inside of the small structure. Served him right for leaving it open all those months ago. At least, he guessed it had been months. He couldn’t quite place when he’d stopped showing up to work. 

It’s not like he did anything to begin with. 

Papyrus’s voice shattered the tense silence, words ringing just a little too loud through the night and thoroughly breaking Sans from his thoughts.

“Just ahead, isn’t it?”

He asked, readjusting the bag packed neatly on his shoulders. 

“yeah.” Sans chorted back, gaze finding its way ahead of them. He couldn’t quite quell the dread starting to pit itself in his chest. He hadn’t been down that path in a year. 

He’d stopped trying after 3 days of not getting an answer. 

Papyrus was already off, so he didn’t have time to second guess their judgement. Sans followed closely behind, trying to shove down the familiarity of it all. It was a trek he’d made countless times. He didn’t even need to pay attention to know the right path. 

He was far more focused on trying to hush the nerves starting to bite at him. He hoped she wouldn’t mind visitors, if she was even still alive. 

Even if that was just wishful thinking. 

A door loomed before them. It was ancient, thin cracks spiraling across it’s frozen stone. Larger cracks marked the pillars supporting it’s massive crest, threatening to topple the whole thing over. 

But Sans knew better. He’d sat safely beneath the structure for countless hours and not even a pebble had fallen. 

Those pillars wouldn’t give way. Nor would the massive walls snaking off into the distance. If it came to it, he doubted even Undyne could break in. 

He couldn’t fully push past the feeling that someone had once told him about it. 

Sans blinked out of his thoughts, realizing Papyrus was staring at him again. He did that a lot these days. He had that look on his face too. Brow bones furrowed, hands fidgeting to do something, eyes flashing with concern. 

Pity.

Sans shook his head, realizing he must’ve been just standing here for a while now. Just like him to make things somber again. The skeleton half cleared his throat, removing a hand from his pocket and offering it to his brother. “ready?”

“As always. How about you?” Papyrus took his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. The worry playing behind his smile was still there. 

Probably didn’t think his brother could pull off this ambitious of a disappearing act. And to be honest, Sans agreed with him. 

He had never tried to take a ‘shortcut’ to a place he’d never been before. Let alone one he’d never even seen. Still. Papyrus was counting on him. So, that was something. 

Sans nodded sharply. They approached the door, falling into its massive shadow. He focused in, thinking about everything that he knew lay beyond that point. 

He closed his eyes, brows furrowing slightly as he let his mind fill with memories. Her roars of laughter, the golden flowers she spoke so fondly of, tales of old puzzles and the daily strain of her home, and just the faintest smell of freshly baked pie. Then, he stepped forwards, being sure to drag Papyrus along with him. 

The world melted around them, colours draining into a muddled, grey mess. He flicked an eye socket open, gazing at the ruined landscape. Good. They were at the halfway point. 

It was a strange place. Too dark and distorted, with pitch black sand that threatened to swallow you up if you stood in one place too long. A black forest was faintly visible against the grey sky, but it was always changing. The whole place looked like a watercolour piece that had gone through heavy downpour. Not distorted beyond recognition, but very very wrong. Memories that had never happened were far more prevalent here, though he liked to ignore that aspect. It gave him the creeps. Precisely why he didn’t like to stay here long. 

Sans focused back in. He was noticing he had trouble doing that these days. Laughter. Pie. Her voice. The snails and flowers and humans she spoke oh so fondly of. Her fantastic jokes. The way she bleated when he got her laughing hard enough. Her recipes she was always so eager to share. That dying tree she had loved to complain about. 

He took another step, keeping a tight grip on his brother’s hand. They pushed into the light again, the smell of old stone and decaying leaves suddenly overwhelming his senses.

His eyes hadn’t adjusted yet, but he felt his brother’s grip on him. The shorter skeleton tried to give him a reassuring squeeze back, but found his hand wouldn’t respond. He was stricken with the sudden realization that he was getting very dizzy. It was barely a second after that when his bleary vision finally registered where he was.

He took a moment to notice how close the ground was getting to his face before everything faded out again. 

——————

Sans felt himself slip back into consciousness, the world painfully silent against the static filling his skull. That wasn’t good…. 

He decided to deal with it later. He started to drift off into sleep, only to be shaken again. The skeleton wearily cracked open his sockets, momentarily blinded by the world around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a low grunt. He just wanted to go back to sleep. 

But someone stopped him.

Another shake stirred him, forcing the skeleton to open his eyes. The light was still too bright, but his vision was starting to clear. There was something hovering above him, it’s mouth(?) frantically moving as it shook him. What the fu-

Oh. Of course. 

Sans was met with the blurry face of his brother staring down at him. Papyrus was saying something, but the shorter skeleton only managed to catch the last part of it. 

“-up! Sans! Oh my god! Are you okay?!” 

Sans blinked, moving a hand to rub the top of his nasal bone. “yeah…. just…. yeah”  
He grunted, static clearing away as he got his thoughts in order. He silently cursed himself for being so stupid. It definitely hadn’t been the best decision to do something so magically draining after not getting around to eating for… 3 days was it? Yeah. That sounded right. 

He was going to drop by Grilby’s before they left, but he honestly didn’t trust himself to not let anything slip. And the bar had been far more busy since Asgore’s death... Too many eyes. 

It wasn’t like he was really all that hungry anyways. 

Papyrus lightly shook him, knocking him out of his thoughts again. “Sans, stay with me. Are you alright to walk? Do you need to rest here for a little while?” His vision had finally started to clear, the black edges at its side starting to fade and the world unblurring. 

He wished it hadn’t. 

Worry had itself pressed into Papyrus’s features, all traces of his usual smile completely wiped. He was gazing down at Sans, eyes shimmering a soft, cyan hue. God, he looked so scared.

“yeah… don’t worry, i’m good…” 

That was a lie. His arms and legs felt heavy, fingers still somewhat numb. He was due for a good nap. But they needed to keep moving. And he didn’t need to be any more of a burden to his brother. The worry still etched into his face was proof enough of that. 

Papyrus shifted slightly, making sure to still support- 

Sans came to the sudden realization that his brother was practically cradling him. They were in a heap on the ground, Sans half way on his brother’s lap. Ancient purple stone lined the floor beneath them, pushing uncomfortably into the smaller skeleton’s spine. He pushed himself up, adjusting so he was no longer sprawled across his brother. 

The skeleton cleared his throat, “... of quartz, if you’re offering a nap-“ He wrapped his knuckles against the stone ground on the word ‘quartz’, offering his best grin. 

Papyrus hesitantly took the bait, raising his brow bones in what they both knew was mock disapproval. 

The taller skeleton added in an eyeroll, a small smile starting to creep across his face. Though, it was admittedly still etched with concern. “I was doing nothing of the sort! Now come, if you can tell those horrid jokes, then you can certainly help me figure out where we are.”

“what, am i pyrite-ating you?” He mused, raising his brow bones and winking for extra points.

Papyrus groaned, leaning back dramatically, “That one didn’t even make sense!” His smile had spread, features softening abit.

“i think it rocked” Sans retorted, returning his hands comfortably to his pockets. Good. They were both going to ignore what just happened. 

Papyrus got to his feet, letting out a laboured sigh. “That was a new level of bad.” He offered his brother a hand, a playful smile crossing his face. “You are truly in-sulfer-able!”

Sans let out a snort, he hadn’t heard one that good in ages. Not since she-

No. 

He didn’t want to think about that now. He wanted to focus on keeping his brother happy. He wanted to get up and figure out where they had found themselves. He wanted to ignore the exhaustion starting to seep into his bones again. Ignore the dull ache that had found its way back into his spine. Ignore what a burden he had started to become. He could take a nap once they had a game plan. 

So he took his brother’s hand, giving a half assed smile as he forced himself up. He tried to ignore how woozy he still felt.

Papyrus dusted himself off, letting out a small huff as he placed his hands on his hips. That worry had started to creep its way back into his expression. Even though these days, it never truly left. 

Sans had the nasty suspicion that he was to blame for that. 

“I say we head that way! I have a good feeling about it.” 

Sans was snapped out of thoughts by his brother’s voice, finally taking notice of exactly where they were. They stood at the crook of a three way path, with exits to either side and in front of them. The ceilings were tall, made from the same worn stone as the floor. The walls were as well, but they bore far more cracks. It was as if they had jumped into some massive purple tunnel. 

Though, there was a touch of other colours. Deep green ivy snaked along the forgotten walls, curling up into cracks on the ceiling. Some shrubbery lined the ground, poking out between the bricks. Their bags were sat by one of the walls, probably haphazardly thrown after he went down. The skeleton shook off that thought. 

Most notably though, was the patch of vibrant red leaves that lay towards the north of the room, right in front of the entrance to some sort of hall. A massive frame was set around it, nearly reaching the ceiling. The deltarune was carved proudly into the top of the frame, scared by small cracks and nicks. Seemed to be a running theme in this ancient place. It was too dark to see what lay beyond the frame. He was not getting a good feeling from it. 

That was where Papyrus was pointing. 

The shorter skeleton shrugged, “lead the way bro.” 

His little brother always did have a good intuition. Even when it directly contradicted his own. And he was too tired to get into an argument over some weird feelings. Papyrus started off, collecting their discarded bags hurriedly. Neither of them knew how long they would be walking. 

Sans realized he was staring again. The skeleton shook his head, going to follow his brother-

That dizzy feeling was back the second he moved. 

He managed to make it one step before his knees hit the floor, followed shortly by his hands. The world blurred for a minute, floor spiraling into a purple and white blur. 

But he was still conscious. Feeling like shit and exhausted, but conscious. And he intended on keeping it that way. 

Even if it would be easier to just go to sleep.

Papyrus was on him before he even had a chance to get out another thought. He was talking. Something about ‘not actually being ok’ or ‘low magic levels’ or whatever. Sans couldn’t catch all of it. His head was still too staticy. He barely registered his brother sitting him back, making sure he was leaning on the taller skeleton. 

His vision was still fixing itself when a gronola bar was shoved into his hands. 

Sans glanced up at his brother for a moment, only meeting his expectant eyes. They had made sure to bring food with them. Mostly non-perishables and whatever they had laying around the house. That happened to include Papyrus’s ‘emergency stash’. AKA a bunch of energy bars and snacks he kept for his weekly brawls with Undyne. Something about not cooking with her anymore leaving him in need of a pick-me-up after training.

Sans shrugged, never one to turn down free food. Especially when it helped to ease his brother’s worries. Even when he really wasn’t all that-

It only took him one bite to realize how hungry he’d grown. He snarfed down the granola bar at what could have only been record speed. Admittedly, he was starting to feel a lot better. The extra magical boost was enough to make his limbs a little less heavy, thoughts becoming ever so slightly less murky. 

“How are you feeling?”

Papyrus’s voice broke the silence again. It was lower, more hushed than his usual tone. It was the way he spoke when he had something playing on his mind. Normally that was something more important than this.

Sans met his eyes, throwing on his best ‘I’m great’ face. He shrugged, moving so he wasn’t leaning on his brother. He shoved the wrapper into his pocket, deciding to discard it later. Papyrus would get on him about littering if he didn’t. 

“‘m fine. just stood up too fast.”

Papyrus didn’t look like he believed him. But he left it be for the time. The taller skeleton stood, slinging his bag onto his back. 

Sans watched, electing to give himself a moment before standing. He really didn’t want to topple over again. Not after what it had done to Papyrus’s stress levels. He considered just asking for another granola bar. 

He was knocked out of his thoughts by a firm grip around his rib cage. Next thing Sans knew, he was in Papyrus’s arms, resting comfortably on his side. He wrapped his arms around the taller skeleton’s neck and shoulders, practically koalaing him. It was a practiced motion, Papyrus used to carry him around all the time when they were sentries. 

As much as he wanted to go back to that time, to have an excuse to not walk, to try and sleep this all off…. It was more important for him not to be another obstacle that his brother had to put up with. Lord knew he was already failing at that. 

“‘priciate the ride bro, but i’m fine-“

“Yes but,” Papyrus bent slightly, hoisting Sans’s bag into his free hand. “We will not get anywhere if you keep ‘standing up too fast’!”

The taller skeleton smiled, adjusting his newfound load, “Besides, this will be a great work out!” 

Sans had to admit he had a point. They had come to a screeching stop as soon as these dizzy spells started. Who knew how far away this mysterious sanctuary would be. And if he couldn’t make it two steps without collapsing like a newborn gyftrot….

Well, it was for the best Papyrus would be dragging around his sorry ass. 

Speaking of which, Papyrus was already off, walking briskly through that mysterious door that set off such an uneasy feeling in Sans’ gut. There was a moment of darkness before they exited the hall, and an even longer moment of hesitation before continuing. What lay beyond it was far less intimidating than he was expecting, but no less intriguing. 

The hallway tapered off into a large room. There was no ceiling, exposing the roof of the cave they were trapped in. Sans felt a slight wave of relief at that, glad the glowing stones were still visible here. They were the closest he was ever going to get to real stars, after all. 

The rest of the room was less appealing. Same purple walls and floor, though more cracks were prevalent here. Those scarlet leaves had scattered the floor, mostly resting in three piles. 

One lay beneath a gnarled old tree. It’s branches were warped and bare, twisting upwards towards the stars. It’s bark was black, and it’s trunk distorted long ago. He knew it immediately. Her tree. It’d probably been dead a long time. 

Just like her-

The other two piles were situated next to north of the room, right next to the structure that seeded an increasing amount of dread within him. A small, cozy house. 

It had no reason to make him feel the deep unease that was creeping into his soul. Just a cute little cottage, with an overwhelming sense of homeliness. Sickeningly so. 

They had expected there to be houses. She had mentioned other monsters in the ruins. So why was this place rubbing him the wrong way?

Papyrus dropped Sans’s bag, wrapping his knuckles against the door with a grin. It seemed their journey was ending sooner than either of them had thought. 

But, the only response was an eerie silence. Sans shifted in his brother’s arms, giving him a small pat on the shoulder. “i don’t think anyone’s home.”

“Yes… It seems so. Perhaps they are napping.”

The taller skeleton knocked once more, slightly harder than the last time. The door creaked open slightly, apparently it wasn’t closed properly. 

The brothers exchanged a look before Papyrus pushed it open. He grabbed the bag at his feet, striding inside the house. 

“Hello? I hope you don’t mind us tromping in like this but-“

They were hit with the sickly sweet smell of rot. The room they had found themselves in had clearly been abandoned for a while now. It was not messy by any means, actually he was stricken by how tidy it was. But, the decaying corpse of a house plant in the corner and the grimy mirror above the stairwell did not lie.

That stairwell. Sans couldn’t explain it, but it made his soul drop. Something felt very wrong about those stairs. A deep, twisted sense of foreboding that begged him to stay away. He listened to it. 

Papyrus was walking again, heading to their left. Sans hadn’t noticed the door until they were heading through it. 

“Well, since no one’s home, I suppose they wouldn’t mind us staying here awhile?” Papyrus proposed, shooting his brother a wary look. 

They were house hunting after all. And who knew when another place to stay would pop up. Bad feelings aside, neither brother could deny that they had gotten lucky. They didn’t really have any other choice. 

So, Sans nodded along, managing a grunt in response. 

The new room they had found themselves in was just as abandoned. Though, it was at least less baren than the last one. There was a comfy looking recliner sitting by a long dead fireplace. The embers inside had been out for who knows how long, only growing frigid with age. More decaying flowers sat at an old table in the corner. Sans found himself wondering how many dead plants had made their home in this ruin. A bookshelf was here too, filled with ancient, dusty tomes. At least this place came with some new reading material. 

Papyrus was moving again. He plopped his brother into the chair by the fireplace, dropping the bag next to him. The chair was as comfy as it looked, even though he was sitting on something that had been resting in it’s seat. He’d take care of it later. Sans glanced up at his brother, raising his brow bones.

“explorin’ alone?” He asked, leaning on the arm of the chair. While he didn’t blame his brother for dropping him off like this, he had to admit it was abit unusual.

“Of course not! I’m saving that for tomorrow!” Papyrus rested his hands on his hips, letting out a light laugh. A grin had returned to his face, even if he was still trying to hide that worry. “First, I’m making dinner. This place is bound to have a kitchen!” 

And just like that he was off again, rushing through a door behind him with a vigor only Papyrus could possess. Weird, the shorter skeleton hadn’t even noticed that one. Probably just the exhaustion seeping through again. 

Sans settled in, sighing alittle to himself. His eyelids were starting to get heavy, the tax of using so much magic catching up to him again. He could just go to sleep. But something was bugging him. The fabric was a little worn, and the small decorative blanket it wore was a little lopsided, but something about this chair was striking him as incredibly familiar. That, and he’d miss a dinner he really needed. 

He shifted, ah yes, the strange object he was sitting on was poking him again. The skeleton reached behind him, pulling out an old, worn book. He examined the cover. It was faded and clearly used, but still legible. Huh, ‘72 Uses for Snails’-

Fuck. 

That tree out back. The long abandoned house. This damned book…. They were in her house. 

A moment of panic seized him. Of course. Of fucking course. The skeleton genuinely wondered why it had taken this long to hit him. God if he wasn’t so stupid then-

No. He couldn’t fall into that pit right now. He had only about 30 minutes before Papyrus was done in the kitchen. He needed to get a game plan together. 

They could leave. 

He’d put in too much effort to get here. Where would they even go?

Go home?

Really? This was home now. Remember dumbass? Not to mention he had a promise to keep. 

There was bound to be another house somewhere in these catacombs. 

But they were already here. And really, what would he tell Papyrus. ‘oh, by the way, we can’t live here because my best friend that i have never once mentioned lived here. and she’s probably dead.’ Like he’d even believe him.

He couldn’t just sit around and wait for one of them to find her remains.

Yes he could. He always was good at sitting on his ass. 

Then again, who’s to say her remains were even here. She could have just moved out. Probably got tired of talking to some jackass who told too many jokes. 

Even when the kid came through covered in dust…

He elected not to tell his brother. He’d just sit and wait for this to all blow over. Until then, the skeleton decided he was in for a nap. So many emotions were exhausting. He would’ve tried to hold off until dinner, but he knew it was pointless. 

Sans dropped the book off the side of the chair, shifting until he found a comfortable position. The skeleton started to drift off, finally allowing his eyes to close. 

Either way this went, they would be sticking around this place. He had a promise to keep. 

Even if it had gotten her killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we entered some headcannon territory in this one! Let me know in the comments if y’all have any questions about mine! 
> 
> Also, I noticed this fic has reached nearly 100 hits (which I promptly lost my mind over). I will be talking about what I’ll do in celebration of that if we hit it next week ;)
> 
> Oh, and next chapter will be out by next Sunday. Mabey sooner, I got quarantined and have a lot more time on my hands :)


	4. Casualties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Undyne decides to put water under the bridge. Too bad he doesn’t agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is so late. Some personal shit went down with me and I lost all motivation to do anything but play the piano for 4 hours straight. Mix in work, and I just couldn’t meet my deadline. But, I’m back!! And I hope this chapter is up to y’all’s standards :D

Undyne’s footsteps hammered through the cavernous walls, only rivaled by the churn of the water next to her. The world whizzed by, rocks and echo flowers were mere blurs at the edge of her vision. She hurtled a rock, taking in every second of air time like it was her last. Her boots slammed into the stone, propelling her forewords once again. Despite the growing heaviness in her legs, she kept pushing. The cold starting to sting her scales was just fuel to move faster. 

It had been ages since she’d been on a good run. 

Being a queen meant sacrifices, and one of those happened to be most of her free time. In between training the new guards, the paperwork involved with running the underground, and conferences, and speeches, and… Well, and getting prepared to ‘deal’ with humans… She never had time to get out and take a good sprint anymore. 

Undyne ran faster. 

Her internal monologue was starting to put a damper on her good time and she would not allow it. Not with what she had to do. The wind was starting to pick up around her, another wonderful obstacle to conquer. She reached up, ripping off the small band holding her hair in a bun, letting it whip around in the growing breeze. A sharp ache had found its way into her muscles, begging her to stop her relentless pace. She refused to listen. 

Oh how she loved this. 

The queen could only help but wish this feeling could last forever. Just keep running and running, and never get to where she had to go. Unfortunately, that fantasy was short lived. Stone had started to give way to snow, the air steadily turning more and more frigid. Her destination was quickly approaching. So, she took a few more short moments to enjoy the world whizzing by, lungs burning and hair whipping as her boots beat the ground into submission. 

And then she skidded to a stop. 

The border of Snowden laid before her. A few stray trees had managed to push through the stone, sticking up at strange and twisted angles. Slushy snow littered the ground in increasing amounts and freezing air drifted in from further down the corridor. Unease had started to pit itself in Undyne’s gut. She was here, but was she ready?

She had to be. The last time her nerves got the better of her, she had lost someone. 

The queen’s brows furrowed, trying to push the memories of her previous failures from her mind. An inferno had started in her lungs, a welcome feeling against the cold. She took the moment to catch her breath. It materialized, streams of steam snaking from her gills slits and into the frigid air. This was a trek she hadn’t taken in a long time. These days, Papyrus usually came to her. 

A pang of guilt ran through her. It had only been two days since they had their argument. And, while the queen still saw herself as being in the right, she couldn’t help but regret how far their fight had gone. She could still see on his face when she grabbed him. Frustrated and disgusted and…. And afraid. Afraid of her. 

He looked just like that punk-

The queen shivered, a grunt escaping her lips. She just needed to talk this out. She refused to sway on her policy, of course, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to repair their friendship. 

She was not losing another person to her pride. 

Undyne unclipped Asgor- HER crown from where it hung on her belt. She had attached a special clip to it so she could loop the damn thing on when she had to run. It had an infuriating tendency to fall off her head any time she moved around too quickly. It was made for a larger head after all. 

She shoved the damn thing onto her head, pushing away those bad thoughts again. Once her head was cleared she let out one final sigh. Then, the queen straightened her back, held up her chin and prepared to face her friend. 

If she could truly still call him that. 

The walk was short enough, Papyrus lived on the side of town facing Waterfall after all. Not a whole lot of monsters were out and about, what with it being late evening. Most were probably home, eating dinner with their families. Undyne grimaced, hoping she wasn’t interrupting Papyrus’s mealtime. She had gotten here earlier than anticipated. Maybe she should turn around and head back home, come back later at a more reasonable time. Or, She could come back the next day, Papyrus would surely-

No. Undyne refused to back down. Normally she would’ve waited an hour or two, but he wasn’t answering her calls or showing up to work. And she was starting to get worried. He must’ve been even more upset with her than she’d thought. Either that or something had happened to make him ignore his two rings rule-

No. She wasn’t even going to consider that an option yet. He was probably just angry. 

With a new found courage, she quickened her pace, finally finding herself at his door. The queen steadied herself, pushing down the immediate feeling that something was off. Everything looked the same. Same old, creaky stairs that were always covered in snow, no matter how often Papyrus brushed them off. Same warm, welcoming door marked with a crooked wreath and small cracks from being kicked in a hundred too many times. Same rickety pillars wrapped in too many Giftmas lights, somehow eye bleeding and comforting all at once. Everything was completely normal. 

So why were her instincts screaming that something was off? She shrugged it off, wrapping her knuckles against the wood. There was an awkward pause, not even the shuffling of feet to be heard. 

She knocked again, wondering what was taking Papyrus so long. 

No response. The queen rocked on her feet a little, starting to question her judgment. There was always the possibility that he wasn’t home. But, the dogs had notified her that Papyrus didn’t show up to work. And Undyne couldn’t fathom where else he could be. He was abnormally strict on when dinner time was after all. 

She knocked again, starting to grow frustrated. The shed mabey? No. The lights were off, snow still piled against the door. It hadn’t been opened for a few days. 

Undyne crossed her arms, huffing to herself alittle. She felt stupid standing alone in the snow. She pulled out her phone, impatiently dialing Papyrus’s number. Maybe he really was just out. 

No. She could faintly hear his ringtone upstairs. She held out hope until the third ring. It went to voicemail shortly after. Undyne’s lip twitched, her annoyance rising into anger. He always had his phone with him, just in case someone called. He really was ignoring her, huh?

Undyne knocked one more time, admittedly harder than she should have. A mix of fury and worry had started to bubble in her, threatening to bubble over at any given second. She just wanted to talk this out! Why was he being so damn petty? The ENTIRE reason she wouldn’t let him on the guard was because of his overwhelming forgiveness. So why wouldn’t he just let her TRY to earn it?

She knocked again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And then she kicked in the door. 

It swung open easily. The new lock was pretty weak. Between Papyrus’s dramatic entrances (and exits) and her tendency to…. ‘get exited’, the lock had to be replaced every few weeks. She strode in, lips curled and fists balled. 

“Papyrus! There are some thing we need to-“

The words caught in her throat. At first glance, the house would appear to be completely normal. But Undyne knew better. She’d slept over countless times, visited even more. She had spent countless hours huddled around the tv, and ravaging the kitchen, and in Papyrus’s room talking about things that seemed so important at the time. 

So she damn well noticed that this place was too clean. 

Now, Papyrus kept the place tidy. But nothing like this. The living room was spotless, carpet vacuumed and freshly cleaned. All the furniture was tucked neatly into place, and the windows were freshly polished. Hell, even that sock that Papyrus was always going off about was taken care of. It wasn’t just clean, this place didn’t look lived in. 

A cold shiver ran down her spine, the striking realization of what exactly was so off about this place finally hitting her. 

It was completely silent. 

In all the time Undyne had spent here it had never been this unearthly silent. There was always SOMETHING in the background. The buzz of the tv, the heater, Papyrus wandering around, or his brother rifling through the fridge at ungodly hours of the night. Something. Anything. 

But the tv was off. And the heater seemed to have followed it considering the cold seeping into the room. The only sound was that of the soul beating in her chest. It wasn’t right. 

“Papyrus?”

She called again, shifting on her feet. She didn’t know why she bothered. The lights were off and it really didn’t look like anyone was home. The warrior took another critical look of the room. Something still wasn’t sitting right. She tried to convince herself otherwise. Papyrus was a nervous cleaner after all.

She tried to wish that was just the case. But the missing items normally scattered across the room were setting off a very bad feeling in her gut. As well as the aforementioned sock, the rock was gone. A slightly dark spot on the table was all that remained, not even the slightest hint of sprinkles. That old book that always found itself somewhere around the living room was gone too. Combine that with the weird stillness….

Undyne felt the unease within her increase tenfold. She marched up the stairs, hand finding its way to the railing. Wiped down and polished. Just like everything else in this damn house. 

She tried Papyrus’s door. It was unlocked, like usual. She considered barging in, but that felt a little too rude. So, she knocked first. 

“Hey Papyrus, you in there? Sorry about breaking in, but… but I’m getting kinda worried about you, ya dork.” She tried to force a smile, but it came out closer to a confused grimace. No response. 

She kicked it in, silently begging to find him sitting at his desk. Mabey listening to music too loud, or so absorbed into a puzzle design that he hadn’t noticed how weird he was being. 

But that was not what greeted her. Papyrus’s room always had been the quietest in the house. Outside noise just seemed to absorb into the walls, leaving the room’s inhabitants at peace. But with how quiet the rest of the house was… the silence was deafening. 

Undyne felt the pit only grow in her stomach. This room was just as wiped clean as the rest, but far more barren. Items that had rested here for years were missing. Albeit, it had been a long time since she had been in here, but she definitely didn’t remember Papyrus having a yard sale. 

The race car bed was missing it’s quilt, leaving only a lonely pillow and sheets. It wasn’t the only barren surface, the book shelf had also been ravaged. Only a few books remained, haphazardly leaning against the old wood. His pirate flag had been removed, leaving a light spot on the wall. Most worryingly though, was the fact that all of the action figures that previously lined Papyrus’s desk were gone. He loved those things.

What worried her most though, was the cell phone that lay discarded next to his old computer. She felt her frown deepen, concern gripping at her soul. Papyrus never left his house without that phone. He always had it in his pocket. Just in case someone called him. Just in case he got a text from his brother. Just in case someone had followed him on the Undernet. 

Just in case someone needed him. 

Undyne had seen enough. She turned on her heel, slamming the door close behind her. Something was going on here, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. If something had happened to him…. If he had done something rash…. God, she’d never forgive herself. 

The queen was about to stomp back down the stairs when she froze again. 

The light sound of shuffling was coming from Sans’s room. A mix of rage and relief flooded her system. She was pissed that the little bonehead had let her tromp around his house without even coming out to see who it was. But, he could have an idea of where his brother was. And that was a welcome relief. She marched over, knocking sharply on the door. 

“Hey. I need to talk.” She growled, concern over taking her courtesy. She could apologize for breaking into his house later, first she wanted to know what the hell was going on. It probably wasn’t her place, but this was all starting to freak her out. 

No response. 

Undyne felt a twinge of annoyance. He could at least tell her to fuck off. 

“Look. This is about your brother.” She prompted, knocking again. She didn’t know much about Papyrus’s brother, but it wasn’t exactly a secret how much they cared for each other. She was getting a bit desperate. And pissed. 

No response. 

“Please?” She finally tried begging, jaw tightening as she forced out the words. A slight shuffle, then silence. She waited a few moments, only to be met with silence. Undyne felt herself starting to bubble over again.

“Sans. Open the damn door.” She growled, knocking harder. She tried the knob, no dice. 

“That was an order.” She tried again. No witty response. No shitty joke. Nothing. Something wasn’t right here. 

Undyne grunted, he wasn’t going to open up and she wasn’t letting go of this lead. She steadied herself, backing up slightly before dealing a powerful blow to the door. 

It took about 3 kicks to bust the lock. 

She strode in, a snarl rising on her lips. It only deepened when she saw what lay beyond the door. A fluffy, white dog was curled up on the mattress at the edge of the room. It yipped at her, tail wagging. She almost hit something, cursing at herself for wasting time. 

Her anger was soon quelled by a sharp pang of horror as she finally gazed around the room. Undyne had never been in here, but she had regularly checked up on her sentries’ stations. And judging by what she had seen and Papyrus’s complaints…

This room should not have been the cleanest in the house. 

Maybe it was how barren it was, only a tattered old mattress, a dresser, a lamp, and a treadmill remained. Maybe it was the half opened closet, completely barren of anything aside from an old winter coat and some slippers. Or maybe it was the faint smell of cleaning supplies emanating from the rug. But, Undyne got the impression that a lot of work had gone into this. 

Now she was really worried. 

She turned, leaving the door open so the dog could get out. The queen found herself wondering how the poor thing had been trapped in there, what with the door. She figured it really couldn’t be that long, considering it looked pretty happy. Just another weird ass event in a chain of weird ass events. 

She marched down the stairs, a horrible suspicion starting to seed itself in her mind. Papyrus never struck her as the type to just disappear off the face of the earth. Something about this just felt too off. 

Undyne paused in the living room, taking another look around. There had to be a clue as to what was going on somewhere. She meandered towards the kitchen, scanning for any detail she could have missed. She paused in the doorway, gazing critically around the room. 

The kitchen was scrubbed down, just like everything else. The floor had been thoroughly shined and all the counters cleaned. Even the freakishly tall sink had a touch up. 

But she couldn’t focus on that. For once, there was something new resting on a countertop. A small bundle of papers rested next to the stove, neatly stacked. She grabbed the stack, haistially reading through it. Undyne felt her soul drop, the grimace marking her lips deepened considerably. She flipped through it again, making sure her eyes weren’t lying. No. It seemed her fears were correct. 

The papers held Papyrus’s formal resignation from his job as a sentry. Followed very shortly by a letter. It only took up one page, but each word felt like a punch to the gut.

‘Do not try to find us. You won’t. 

Have a wonderful day.

Signed,  
The Great Papyrus’

Undyne dropped the packet onto the table, darting for the door. She had to alert the guard of their new missing person’s case.

——

Undyne kept up a steady pace behind one of the hounds. Lesser Dog to be exact. The two had been walking around the woods for at least half an hour, but had finally managed to catch a sent. 

Normally she would’ve had the Doggi help her with tracking, they were her best sniffers after all. But, their noses had been taken out by the sheer amount of cleaning supplies around the house. Neither dog would be able to smell anything except Cranberry Twist for at least a week. 

Undyne blamed her impaired sense of smell. It was one of the few disadvantages of having gills. She didn’t even realize they were walking into a bomb until it was too late. And with Greater and Doggo having passed in the slaughter the year before, that left only the hound at her side to aid her. 

Papyrus really knew what he was doing. 

It seemed he really did want to disappear. But she refused to lose another person to her own folly. She was determined to have a talk with him. If he heard her out, then decided to cut ties…. Well, then so be it. But, until that happened, she would at least try to salvage their friendship. The queen wasn’t letting go of him that easily, she had lost too many people for that. 

Unfortunately, he was making that rather difficult. 

But, they were finally catching up to him. Lesser’s efforts had led them to a trail of footprints, snaking quietly through the woods. They were half filled by the previous night’s snow, even completely fading out in places. But that’s what the dog at her side was for. When the prints trailed off, it was there to lead her way. Speaking of which, the trail came back into sight, and Undyne took the lead. 

The prints were too small to be Papyrus’s, so she had to guess they were made by his brother. That made sense enough, the taller skeleton had a habit of practically hovering over the snow. Undyne had yet to wrap her head around how he did that, her best guess was some sort of constant blue magic. He always had been good at levitation…

She tried to focus back in on the tracks. They had been hell to find, tucked away between the Doggi’s stations and an old path through Snowden Forest. They were constantly snaking off into the trees, darting around then falling back onto the path. Their confusing pattern worried Undyne. She was sure they’d be heading in the other direction, as the city was certainly a better choice to live. Out here… well, it wasn’t a good idea. 

Snowden’s forests were dense and barren. Surviving the night was easy enough, as long as you didn’t mind the cold. But getting food and water was difficult. A few birds had found their way into the underground, but she highly doubted the skeletons could catch one, let alone kill it. Snowden did have a few natural berries and flowers, but most were either toxic or sparse at best. At least, that’s what Asgore had always told her. 

She shook off that train of thought, focusing on the trail again. The prints were more protected under the canopy of barren trees, sharper and more clear in the snow. She looked a bit further down the trail, a slightly confused look crossing her face. 

The prints just stopped. 

That was somewhat normal with how much it snowed, but not like this. They didn’t taper off, nor slowly fade into the snow. They just abruptly stopped further down the trail. Even stranger, two new prints dropped down next to them. 

She looked to her fluffy companion, only to be met with a confused whine. Lesser got on it’s fours, sniffing past the prints. Then it returned to her side, giving her a low, confused bark. The report was clear enough. 

The scent trail ended here too. 

That made no sense. She could stretch her disbelief enough to thank that particularly heavy snow could get rid of their trail. But this…. Something wasn’t right. 

It was like the two had disappeared into thin air. 

Something about that thought didn’t sit well. She dismissed it. Undyne moved past where thier trail had ended, barking out an order to keep searching. They had to find something eventually. 

She wasn’t letting another friend disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. 170 hits. Guys.... This is... Thank you. Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate you all so much more than you will ever know. 
> 
> That being said, a celebration is in order! Over on my Tumblr (@squarefriend, blog name: Yeah, I still Like Undertale), I am starting an ask blog for Because She Died! You may also ask questions in the comments, But I’ll be posting them on the Tumblr. I’m super exited! 
> 
> Next chapter won’t be coming out this Sunday, but it will the next one. The holidays are a rather busy time of year for me! Have a lovely night my dears, and once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!


	5. AMARANTHINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaranthine - adjective - A purplish red hue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s back!!! Sorry this chapter is out so late in the day. I could’ve sworn I’d posted it when in reality I didn’t. Anyways, on to the story! Also: A lot of head canons pop up in this chapter. Be warned!!

Papyrus scooted an action figure ever so slightly to the left, turning it’s small, painted face towards his. He stepped back to examine his workmanship, before swooping back in to adjust it once more. A little further north, facing away just a touch, and…. There! He stepped back again, eyeing the desk top with a critical eye. 

Seven small figurines were laid out, all in differing fighting positions. Each was hand painted, a surprising amount of detail found on their small faces. Yes, a few’s paint had started to chip and one or two still needed some repairs, but the skeleton still felt a swell of pride when he arranged them just right.

Speaking of which, the small scene before him appeared to be a battle, a few figures even colliding in friendly combat. He had been sure to switch up the teams this time, purely for his own amusement. They filled the table nicely, no spot feeling too empty nor too full. Papyrus smiled, perfect. 

The skeleton took a step back, now that his ‘battle buddies’ were taken care of... that was it. His unpacking was finally completed! It had taken a bit longer than expected, what with needing to clean the house first. Grime and dirt had coated the entire upstairs, and it desperately needed a good scrubbing. Then there was the matter of the dirty dishes in the sink, and the rotten snails in the fridge, and all those decaying plants. 

It’d taken most of their first day, and a good portion of yesterday to get it nice and tidy. Sans had barely lifted a phalange to help, of course, mostly spouting out humorous banter, getting a snack, or taking another nap. Papyrus, though agitated, was not surprised. His brother had never been particularly concerned with cleanliness… nor wakefulness. Those habits had just gotten worse over the past year. To the point that Papyrus was running out of options to-

Nonono, none of that here! He was going to have a good day! They both were. 

Papyrus straightened, realizing he’d been staring at the figures for a rather long time. He shifted his focus, gazing around his newly decorated room. 

It was admittedly a bit cramped, having been previously furnished before he asserted himself, but Papyrus had been in worse! He liked the cherry red walls, slightly chipped but welcoming. There had been a few old stuffed animals, toys, and drawings littered around the room. But, to open it up a bit he’d moved them to the back of his new wardrobe. Though, he’d been sure to hang up a sunflower painting towards the back. 

He got the feeling that someone had been proud of that once. 

Anyways, he still wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the striped sweaters he’d found. No one in the house would need them, and he didn’t really want to throw them out yet. Ultimately it was decided to just leave them put for the time being. The toys, the paintings, the shirts, all of it had led the tall skeleton to the conclusion that this must’ve been a child’s room at one point. Oh well, it was his now! Considering how abandoned this place was, no one would be returning to claim it. 

The lanky skeleton found himself sitting on the bed, absently rubbing the soft covers. It was a little too small, but he really didn’t use it that much. Technically there was another room with a bigger bed next to this one but…..

He and Sans had agreed to keep that one closed for the time being. 

For lack of a better term, it felt like a tomb. It was too still, the air too somber. He got that feeling in his soul that something bad was about to happen when he was in there. Not to mention that strange sense of familiarity, an overwhelming notion that they were intruding… Neither of the brothers were comfortable there. They’d opted to clean out the flowers, pick up a few dust bunnies and get out. 

Strangely enough, Sans had actually helped out unprompted. 

Papyrus shook off those thoughts, forcing himself up onto his feet. He figured he’d been cooped up in this little house too long! It was putting a damper on his mood, something the skeleton refused to allow. 

He strode out the door, taking a second to enjoy the sunny hallway. It was a welcome compliment to the rich purples outside, and shone a bit thanks to being so freshly cleaned. Papyrus mentally patted himself on the back for such stunning handywork. 

He continued, passing the stairwell quickly. It gave off the same feelings as the blue room, but devilishly stronger. Papyrus shuddered, he didn’t like to admit how much it put him off. It was the only place of the house he hadn’t maticiously found, scavenged, and cleaned (aside from the aforementioned room). 

He pressed down those thoughts once more, pushing his way into the living room. It was certainly neater, though the dishes from Sans’s breakfast still found themselves on the table. 

Speak of the devil, the skeleton was currently curled up in the big chair he was so fond of. After being put there the first day, he hardly ever left the thing unless prompted. Technically speaking, the ‘under renovations’ room they’d found was his. But it didn’t really have a bed yet so, despite Papyrus’s insistence of just taking turns in his room, Sans stubbornly slept here instead. 

He sighed dramatically, waking his brother from his doze. The shorter skeleton half opened his eyes, the lights still dim with sleep. At least, Papyrus hoped it was sleep. Those little lights were never as bright as they used to be. He pushed that thought from his mind, his brother just slept often. That was certainly it. 

“Sans! You still haven’t unpacked!” He nagged, placing one hand on his hip and using the other to point at the bags at the base of the chair. “It has been three days!” 

The shorter skeleton shifted, lazily pushing himself up enough to meet Papyrus’s eyes. He yawned, stretching a bit before answering. 

“mhm’ i’ll get to it. got a busy schedule today.

Papyrus cocked a brow, both hands having found their way to his hips now. He felt like he was walking into a trap. 

“Oh? What are you doing today?”

He indulged, noticing the smirk starting to mark his brother’s face. Sans was always smiling, something to do with his jaw getting messed up as a kid. Papyrus had never gotten the full story. But, that didn’t deter the younger of the two to learn which smiles were real and which weren’t. 

Speaking of which, that grin spread ever so slightly, a small shrug accompanying it.

“‘whole lotta nothing, takes up quite abit of my time”

Papyrus rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Well, if you ‘take a break’ then get your dishes” He snarked, jabbing a finger behind him to the table.

The shorter of the two smirked, adjusting himself once more in a clear ‘I’m comfy, not moving’ motion. “ok”

Papyrus rolled his eyes again, retrieving his windbreaker from the back of one of the rickety chairs at their new dining table. They hadn’t invested in a coatrack yet, so random surfaces had to do. These chairs were a stroke of luck too. There were three, but the midsized one and the small one were across the table from one another. Perfect for the skeletons that now inhabited them!

He pulled on the jacket, attention turning back to his brother. He grinned, any previous indication of frustration melting away.

“I’m going out to the garden, would you like to come?” 

The short skeleton shrugged against the chair, seeming to weigh his options. Finally, he settled, that relaxed grin still plastered on his face. 

“eh, might catch up to you in abit. might not” 

Papyrus nodded, “Alright-y then. I will see you later Brother!” He chirped, flipping up the col on his jacket. The skeleton shot one last distasteful look to the dishes before heading for the door. 

Truth be told, Papyrus didn’t know what to make of his brother’s increasing stubbornness about actually leaving the house. Sans hadn’t stepped outside since they’d gotten there, at least not that Papyrus knew. He shouldn’t press. His brother would get there eventually. He just needed some extra time. He just-

Papyrus elected to stop thinking about this. He needn’t worry. Sans was just adjusting. That was all. 

He pushed open the door, taking in the smell of the catacombs they’d found themselves in. The air was more stuffy than the rest of the underground, carrying the slightest smell of decay. Though, that may have been because the sickly sweet smell of rot was still stuck in his nasal cavity. Even after two and a half days, the house was still airing out. 

The ‘garden’ was really just a few empty flower pots under the windows and a large dead tree. Scarlet leaves lay scattered all over the ground, somehow having found their way from trees just beyond his line of vision. Occasionally a stray gust of wind would push a few more in, scraping against the rock floor. He never quite understood how they got wind under ground, but decided to dwell on that later. 

Overall, the garden really wasn’t much. Some might even say that is was a lost cause, that it’d be easier to burn it all down than try to fix it. Maybe even going as far as to say that it wasn’t even worth the effort to blaze, just leave it here to rot in it’s infertile soil. It was only decaying old plants and mysteriously appearing leaves.

Personally, Papyrus thought it had potential. 

And while he was much better with a wrench and some pliers, the skeleton was positive he could fix this old place up. After all, elbow grease could be applied to plants too, right?

He reassessed the room. There had been some old flower seeds in one of the drawers inside. At least, he thought they were flower seeds. To be honest, he was not entirely sure. But, if they were flowers, he could put them in the pots. It would add a bit of desperately needed colour to the shiny glass. 

First he’d have to figure out what those seeds were. He reasoned that there might be a book on plant seeds in the house. Whoever used to live here seemed to be a fan of that kind of stuff, considering some of the titles on that old shelf. He could sort through them and-

Papyrus was getting ahead of himself. First things first, he’d work on straightening up those pesky leaves. He glanced around. There weren’t any rakes in the garden…. Maybe he could check around back? A glance to either side of the little house revealed two identical dead ends. 

Or he could just improvise! The skeleton extended a hand, shooting magic through it. A bone materialized at the base of his palm, elegantly extending down until it nearly reached the floor. The skeleton caught it easily, straightening himself as he did so. The move was elementary at best, but he still enjoyed the majesty of it. It was just like Undyne always-

He stopped that train of thought. 

He did not want to think about how much he missed their old training sessions. Not to mention intense cooking spars, nor impromptu and riveting sleepovers…. 

It was a shame all of those memories were tarnished by what she had done. 

Nono, he wasn’t following this train of thought, remember? The skeleton pushed his newly formed bone down into a pile of leaves, attempting to push them into place. 

There was only the sharp smell of burning before the small pile exploded, showering the skeleton in small bits of burning leaves. On second thought, trying to do this with an attack was not his best move. He quietly chided himself for such a beginner’s mistake, letting go of the bone. It fell behind him, dissipating into loose magic before it could make it to the ground. 

Oh well, he was innumerably great and could think of a better solution. The skeleton shot another tentative glance to the sides of the house. Yes, it seemed he was still rakeless. Nevertheless, he was getting these leaves in order! 

He had to. 

Papyrus pushed his boot under a pile, half scooting half kicking the leaves into a larger mass. It worked well enough. Another kick followed.

He smiled a little brighter.

Then another. 

He tried to see how high he could kick them. 

And another.  
And another.  
And another-

All too soon he found himself tromping through the leaves, shoving them into place. He had to admit it was quite fun. The crunch, the smell, how they fluttered down when he kicked too hard! It reminded him of a simpler time. Back when his only worry was mindless fun and what was for dinner that night. 

Inevitably though, those happy feelings had to end. He’d organized the leaves into kind of piles. They were wonky, with several stray leaves in the lines between. The skeleton sighed, adjusting his gloves slightly. 

It was time to show off a little. 

The lanky skeleton straightened his posture, feeling his eyes start to burn. A buzz filled the air, concentrating in his chest. He let magic flow through his whole body, collecting in his hands. They buzzed too. A blue glow could almost be made out from under his gloves. It was then, and only then, he allowed himself to focus on his ‘target’. 

A quick flick of the wrist was all it took. The leaves swirled around him, a great scarlett tornado in the gustless room. They had a blue shine to them, looking violet in the right lighting. The swirling mass moved with his hands, left to hold, right to direct. 

He pushed his index finger down, chunks of leaves following it. He decided to change things up abit. That’s what this whole move was about, wasn’t it? Change and making a difference? He focused back on the leaves. Soon enough, they were in two distinct piles, one along the side of each outside wall. 

And just like that, it was done. His magic switched off, the buzz through his body finally shutting off. The blue faded as his eyes switched off, leaving only a beaming skeleton and some old leaves. Technically, he could’ve led with the blue magic, but where was the fun in that?

Now that those leaves were taken care of, he could move onto his next task. One thing at a time, right? He could start on researching those seeds, or looking through those books, or maybe even ask Sans about-

All of his previous notions were silenced when he noticed the tree. 

It hadn’t caught his eye before, but gazing upon it left a weird feeling in his soul. 

That tree was a challenge. 

Something about finally getting something right had filled him with a new confidence. He wasn’t sure how he’d take care of the tree. It was ancient, warped, and probably dead. A lost cause. 

Still, he found himself walking forward. The skeleton rubbed his hand against the blackened bark, even through the gloves he could feel how cracked it was. Maybe he should just tear it down. It had been dead a long time. 

Then again, he was of the mind set that everything deserved a chance. 

Papyrus took a tentative glance around, making sure he truely was alone. Then he sighed, tugging off his right glove. He dropped it onto the ground by his feet, slipping the palm cover from his shirt off of his thumb. 

He locked his jaw a little, staring down at the five sharp claws that greeted him. They were pesty, always getting caught on everything and never wanting to fully retract like his brother’s. It was one of the few points of envy he held against him. 

Papyrus shook off those thoughts, getting back on track. He laid his hand against the bark. It was tougher than he thought it’d be, hard and dry as a stone in the desert. 

He didn’t focus on that, instead focusing all his power inwards. He reached into his soul, drawing out any excess magic he could spare. It pumped through his extended arm, pooling into the tree. Through his nearly closed eyes he could see the bright blue glow seeping out from the magical film holding his bones together. 

The skeleton wasn’t sure if heeling magic could bring back almost dead plants. Especially the ‘amateur at best’ kind of healing magic. He cracked an eye socket open, peaking past the blue hue of his hands. The tree certainly seemed to have livened up abit. He could’ve sworn it was ever so slightly brighter, limbs a little less warped and cracked, stood up just a bit straighter. 

With that reassurance, he reached further, pumping the tree with more of his magic. At this rate he’d get this garden up and running in no time! And as such an amateur too! Clearly he had a natural green-

A sharp, confused meow rang out behind him. 

The skeleton faltered. His magic snapped to a stop, cutting off the steady stream into the tree. He turned sharply on his heel, scanning for whoever had found their way into his garden. 

Right at the edge of the inky black entrance to the garden sat a small monster. It resembled a marshmallow, white and soft with a little black face on its belly. It shifted on it’s paws, tiny claws digging into the stone. A froggit? He wondered if it was related to any of the amphibians in new home…. They certainly had some resemblance…. 

The froggit meowed again, it’s shiny eyes wide and mouth ever so slightly agape. Poor thing looked terrified! It struck him that they were probably scared of him. That wouldn’t do. 

Papyrus smiled, quickly putting his exposed hand behind his back. He feared he’d accidentally intimidated them. Irrational he knew, considering they themselves possessed clawed hands, but it persisted. He waved quickly, trying to disarm the poor frog’s fear.

It was so relieving to see someone other than his brother. Sans was great and all, but a new face was more than welcome! It would be a tragedy to scare them off before he got to know them. So, he straightened himself, smile strengthening. 

“Greetings, frog! I am the-“

He barely got out the start of his introductory chirp before the froggit let out a small startled squeak. It turned, hopping as fast as it’s legs would carry it back into the inky blackness. 

“Hey! Wait!”

Papyrus called after it, taking off into the dark. He had just met this monster, and didn’t want to lose track of them so easily. After all, they had nothing to fear!

He just needed to show them that. 

He broke through the dark, finding himself in the room they had first appeared in. It was unchanged, aside from the leaves being disturbed from where the froggit tore through. Papyrus caught sight of a white leg turning the corner to his left. 

The skeleton shoved his heels into the ground, turning his body sharply. The leaves flew around him, momentarily hindering his vision. It didn’t matter, he already had his sights set. 

He pushed forewords, effectively drifting around the corner. And just like that he was off again, only a slight stumble to show for it. 

“Wait up!” He called, legs pumping faster. 

The froggit sped up, it’s little nostrils flaring as it ran. It hooked another left at the end of the corridor, practically leaping around it. They were entering new territory now. 

Papyrus ignored that, only attempting to run quicker. He was not losing this opportunity. They just needed to see he wasn’t a threat! 

He skidded again, less effectively this time. His side slammed into the wall, resulting in him bouncing off rather roughly. Stone was stronger than bones after all. 

He somehow managed to stay upright, stumbling forewords into the room the froggit had disappeared into. 

He managed to catch sight of a white foot disappearing into a small hole in the wall. There they were!

He didn’t think before diving towards the hole, effectively slamming his face into the wall. He only made it up to his shoulder, which was now uncomfortably wedged between the rock. He could hear the distant scratch of their claw on stone, weaving through the ancient labyrinth. 

Drat. He’d lost them. 

Papyrus took a moment, feeling the dull pain from running into so many things starting to catch up to him. His teeth hurt in particular, thanks to being put to the test against such a hard wall. Thankfully, it seemed that they had passed. 

The skeleton scooted back, pulling his arm out of the little hidey hole. Admittedly, he had been a bit too forward. Chasing them down was probably not the best option. As fun as racing with a stranger could be...

It seemed making friends with monsters was going to be just as hard here. 

The skeleton sat up, a sigh slipping through his teeth. Alone again it seemed. He’d always dreaded the thought of living in isolation, even if it was the right thing to do. He remembered countless nights spent at home, staring at his computer screen and waiting for just one new follower. One new friend. Endlessly wondering if the problem was him. 

Undyne had been there once. He cringed, remembering how glad he was when she first regarded him as a friend as well as a trainee. That was gone now. He couldn’t stand to think of how far she’d fallen. That she was behind all this. That he had to save people from her. 

And then there was his ‘secret friend’. He’d come to Papyrus long ago, and they’d sat and talked about something. Stars he thought, but he couldn’t quite remember. Then, after a few hours, Papyrus had to get home. He gladly agreed to come back, but was sworn into secrecy. 

That little flower had been showing up less and less over the past year. Their visits had gone from daily, to weekly, to monthly…. It was four months now. A new record. 

The skeleton wondered if he was to blame for that. He must’ve said something, or done something, to put the flower off. Why else would he-

Papyrus yanked on his bandana, forcing himself out of those thoughts. No. Today had too much potential to be dragged down by such silly thoughts. He’d think over them tonight, while laying in bed and pretending to sleep. 

Now was no time for stupid self pity!

Now was the time to get up, stay positive, and find a new normal! This was a new life with new people. A fresh chance to do what was right! All he had to do was stay positive. 

If there was one froggit, there were bound to be more. They were very social monsters after all. He’d just try again, more gently this time! He could still make friends! He could do this.

He had to be able to do this! 

The skeleton forced himself up, the right side of his body still sore from being pushed so roughly into a wall. He shook it off, a new drive filling him again. He took a step forward, noting the newly found limp on his ride side. Oh well, he’d deal with it. 

Now that he wasn’t running or having rather unfortunate and completely unnecessary thoughts, he could look around. The room the froggit had led him too was gorgeous. It only held three walls, all purple and cracked like the rest of this place. 

But, what really caught his sockets was the opening of the room. It was a balcony of sorts, where the fourth wall should’ve been opened up to quite the view. Distant purple towers fell away into the horizon, dim rocks shining on the ceiling. He even thought he saw some distant crumbled structures. Papyrus felt  
a gasp crawl through his teeth. 

This… This place was so much larger than he’d anticipated. 

Thie history book he’d glanced through once said that most monsters used to live here. And the old legends said it was a lost city, but still. Papyrus gripped the railing, milking it all in. Extravagant purples and luxuriously faded violets as far as the eyes could see! 

He had to tell his brother. 

They had to explore this place! 

All previous notions of gardening were forgotten as he rushed back. The limp hindered him slightly, but he managed. There were so many things to talk about when he got back to the house! He sped up, not even bothering to fix the leaves in the back room. 

He’d been so preoccupied with the house that he neglected to even think about what the rest of this place must be like! It was exhilarating to think of what they could do here, how many other monsters might inhabit those old, crumbling buildings! He might even be able to get Sans out of the house for a while. The fresh air would do him good. 

He was almost there now, pushing through the darkness before entering the garden. It was here he finally paused, stopping beneath the tree to retrieve and return his glove. If there was one thing their door knob didn’t need, it was more scratches. He tugged it on while walking, quicking up his pace a little one. 

Papyrus pushed the door to their house open a little too roughly, bouncing it off of the knob stopper. He didn’t bother to wipe his feet on the door mat, it was a hassle at the moment. He burst into the living room, skidding to a stop in front of the chair. 

“Sans! You have to see this!“

His brother shifted, grumbling something under his breath. He somehow had managed to sleep through that entrance, only shifting alittle. Papyrus wasn’t surprised. Sans could sleep through a hurricane if he wanted to. In times like these, he wondered if his brother was a cat instead of a skeleton. 

He moved to wake the shorter skeleton, only to pause instead. Sans was clutching something to his chest. After some inspection, Papyrus realized it was a small, blue book. It was partially covered by Sans’s hands, but Papyrus could still see the title. It was in a swirly, cursive font, light blue against a darker background. Papyrus’s brow bones furrowed as he attempted to decipher the scrawling letters. They kept jumbling around, getting all mixed up in his head. 

DRAIY

Draiy? What was a- Nono, wait. 

He tried again… Dairy? Papyrus wondered why his brother was reading about milk products. He had-

No wait. Diary. It said diary. Papyrus felt his brow bones furrow deeper. Sans kept a journal, he knew that much, he’d walked in on his brother writing a few times. But it didn’t look like this. His journal was an old, white notebook. This was smaller, blue, and pretty. 

That meant it had to belong to whoever was here before them. Papyrus scoffed alittle, now that was just rude! And a huge invasion of privacy! And… And very unlike his brother. 

He squinted, examining it further. Maybe he wasn’t reading it right. Cursive did have a tendency to push his eyes to their limits. No. He was pretty sure it said ‘Diary’. Just a worn old diary. It rose and fell with his brother’s chest-

Wait. 

Papyrus came to the very sudden and startling realization that his brother was breathing. Skeletons didn’t need to breathe, they had no lungs. However, it did help when one was out of breath, or sighing, or…

Or scared. 

Papyrus felt his shoulders tense, smile falling from his teeth. He briefly considered waking his brother, they were both prone to strange nightmares after all. One look at his face shot down that option. 

Despite his breathing, Sans looked surprisingly peaceful. His brow bone and eyes were relaxed, head slightly tilted back against his shoulder. Nothing in his body language displayed signs of distress, aside from that pesky breathing. In fact, Papyrus could argue that his brother looked more relaxed than normal. 

No… Not relaxed. Exhausted. The smaller skeleton was completely limp, aside from the hand weakly clutching that weird book. His eye bags had deepened as well, half a shade darker than last time. There was no doubt in Papyrus’s mind that his brother was going to be out for the rest of the day if he didn’t wake him. 

The taller skeleton took a step back, weighing his options. After a few moments he sighed, heading to the stair room. He kept his eyes off of the stairwell, focusing instead on the little cupboard to the side of it. Old, moth eaten blankets lay inside, colours faded after years of use. Sans’ favourite kind. He removed one, heading back into the living area. 

There, Papyrus pulled the book from his brother’s hands. There was little resistance, just a small snort, his left eye momentarily creaking open, and then back to sleep. The taller skeleton let out a small sigh, his brother really was dead asleep. 

He put the book on the fireplace mantle, right next to a day old cup of coffee. Then, he draped the blanket over his brother’s form. If Sans was going to insist on sleeping in this thing, Papyrus was at least going to make sure he was somewhat comfy. 

With that complete, the skeleton took a step back. Admittedly, he was rather bummed about not getting to explore today. One might even say a bit frustrated. 

But this was more important than exploring. He was more important than the world outside. 

Papyrus shook his head a little, opting to go make some lunch instead. He headed for the the kitchen, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Oh. 

Sans’s dishes had been placed in the sink. 

Papyrus wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? A ton of head canons! Mostly about whatever the fuck is under Pap’s gloves. Personally, I bode with claws because like every other monster in the underground had them.
> 
> Also!!! 200 hits!!! I’m loosing my mind guys! Thank you so much for reading! I love you all! Good night!
> 
> Next update: Next Sunday!


	6. who’s there?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans makes an unfortunate discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is so late. Life got in the way this time. 
> 
> This is where the tags get really serious yall. Just in case, I’ll be tagging on a trigger warning. 
> 
> TW: Some serious self loathing, a pretty graphic description of a panic attack, a few scars, and a lot of mentions of smoking. If that makes you uncomfy, I’ll put a chapter summary at the bottom of the text

The world turned on. That’s the best way he could find to describe it. One moment he was drifting through a deep, dreamless abyss, then the next he was here. Laying in a chair that was too hot, in clothes that were too stuffy, in a room that was painfully bright. The muted colours blurred together, interlaced with an intense light from a distant window. 

Sans grumbled, squeezing his sockets shut as he rolled over. He shoved his head into the back of the chair, curling in on himself in a weak attempt to block out the light. It worked… kind of. Now only half of his vision was filled with the swirling blues and reds accompanying that awful light. 

Still, it was marginally better. And Sans was willing to take that. Ha. He really did have shit standards didn't he? 

The skeleton grumbled again, scrunching himself further into the chair. He wanted to go back to that abyss, where thoughts and feelings didn’t follow. He yearned for it. No worries, no cares, no one to let down. 

And yet, sleep wouldn’t take him. 

The skeleton shifted again, trying to force himself into a comfortable position. His bones ached, a dull throb that started in the center of his spine and snaked out through his limbs. His arms were itching for some movement, begging to be used for something other than a sad attempt at a pillow. He stretched out across the chair, hoping it would suffice. 

It did not. 

Sans huffed, squeezing his sockets even more tightly shut. He just wanted to go to sleep. Was that really too much to ask? 

Apparently yes. Yes it was. He was wide awake. 

The skeleton sighed, twisting again so he was on his back. He took a moment to lie there, arms and legs buzzing to move but without the energy to do so. He sucked into a long breath, exhaling through his teeth. Then, he finally allowed his sockets to open, taking in the brunt of his smeared, bright surroundings. 

He groaned, running his hands down his face. His fingers were numb, pins and needles stabbing at them when he moved too much. The skeleton let his arms fall limp again, returning to their previous position on his rib cage. 

These types of days were always the worst. The kind where, try as he might, he couldn’t sleep. The kind where all he could do was sit there and fluctuate between feeling like the scum of the earth, then utterly hollow, then back to scum. The kind where it wasn’t worth it to get out of bed. 

Er…. Chair. 

He should get back to unpacking. There wasn’t much, just some clothes, books, and blankets. That, and the few trinkets and keepsakes he’d bothered to take. Still, it needed to be put somewhere. Finish what he’d started for once, maybe even make his brother proud. 

Ha. Yeah right. 

Papyrus had cleaned this entire house in only… 2 days…? Sans couldn’t tell. He’d been too much of a lazy ass to actually help, opting to sleep instead. But that really wasn’t anything new, now was it?

Anyways, his brother probably wouldn’t be impressed with something as miniscule as unpacking far too late. Papyrus was too far above that. If anything, he’d probably be annoyed it had taken so long to get done. Another person let down by Sans’s sheer inadequacy. 

Yeah. He’d rather just lay here and pretend it didn’t bother him. Papyrus would make him do it eventually, so why waste the effort now? Mabey here he could at least hope to drift off again. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pang of hunger. 

Oh yeah. Breakfast. Er… Lunch? He couldn’t see the clock from here, but knowing himself, he’d probably slept through the day. Again. 

The skeleton managed to reach down to the floor, yanking up the bag resting beside his perch. His shoulder and elbow popped as he stretched, still stiff from being contorted for so long. Papyrus had been kind enough to retrieve the bag from the middle of the hallway, even propping it up against the chair. Sans found himself wondering for the millionth time what he had done to deserve such a good brother. 

Let’s see…. Be a useless piece of shit who slept his sorry life away? Hmm, mabey do the bare minimum in literally every facet of his life? Oh! How about letting half the Underground dust because he’d rather hide behind a promise than get off his ass?

Yeah…. Papyrus was too good to him. 

Sans was knocked out of his thoughts by another twist in his non-existent stomach. He grunted, finally pulling the bag into his lap. It was lighter now, thanks to a few essentials being removed and put around the house. Once again, he had Papyrus to thank for that. Without him… Well, that rock certainly wouldn’t have let out anytime soon. 

Speaking of food, he needed to get some instead of zoning out again. Maybe then he could try to get back to sleep. 

Sans rifled around in his pack, pushing through crumpled fabric and countless plastic wrappers. They were another reason the bag was lighter, one he could actually take credit for. His snack stash had been nearly depleted, thanks to it being the closest food source to the chair. Well it was this, or when Papyrus managed to wake him up for dinner. 

He dug around abit more, looking for at least a stray fry that had somehow found its way into the old bag. No dice. Just empty chip bags and bottles of ketchup. Technically he could break into the booze, but getting shitfaced so early in the day didn’t sound like a good idea right now. Paps would worry about him too much. 

Sans let the bag fall to the side, grumbling some rather unsavory things under his breath. He weighed his options, brow bones furrowing slightly. 

Either he could stay here, zone out and inevitably manage to feel even more worthless. Just wishing for sleep that would never come until his brother got back, in which he would crack a joke, get some dinner, and then they’d both go to bed and pretend to sleep. 

Or, he could get up, get leftovers from the fridge, and pretend to give a shit. 

He was about to take the first option when hunger stabbed at him again. There was no way he could relax like this. So, instead he swung his legs down from their resting place, socks meeting the tile floor for the first time in too long. 

Sans stood, feeling his bones pop in at least six different places. He brushed off some old wrappers that were still clinging to his sweater, returning them to their new home in his chair. The cozy piece of furniture had taken on a more nest-like appearance, draped in blankets and filled with old wrappers and bottles. Sans didn’t mind all that much, as long as there was room to laze around and feel sorry for himself. 

And there was still plenty of that. 

The skeleton was in the middle of popping his back when he noticed what lay on the banister. The sight that greeted him nearly forced him back into the chair to try and sleep it off. A horrible  
melancholy started to grip him, tightening his throat and making his chest close up. 

Huh. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. 

A little blue book was resting there. Her little blue book. Worn, but sturdy, and filled with an unmatched elegance and wit. He couldn’t help but be reminded of it’s owner. 

He really hadn’t meant to snoop. He just was going to unpack when her room caught his eye again. That lonely, beckoning door… He hadn’t realized he’d stepped through until he was sitting on the bed. 

He still didn’t understand why. The first time he’d stepped into that sickeningly tomblike room it had been a disaster. He suspected Paps felt it too. Just how utterly still and sollum that place was. He was certain it was her room. She always loved the colour blue. 

And he still went back. Just to… to… have a moment alone? Yeah. That’s the best excuse he could conjure for being so impulsive. 

He still couldn’t find a good excuse for looking around abit. 

It was half hearted at best, downright dazed at worst. The only clarity he’d had was when he was flipping through that little book. It was a dull, hollow shock, a pain that he could still remember in vivid detail. The precise moment he realized what he was doing. 

‘Why did the skeleton want a friend?’

‘Because she was feeling BONEly!’

Those words still rung in his ears. A conformation of his worst suspicions. He’d dropped the book from shock, creasing a few of its pages. And then he just stood there stupidly, wondering why he thought any of this had been a good idea. 

He hadn’t read another word in her book. That was too invasive. And yet, he still found the need to pick it up and take it with him. Just another feeling he couldn’t explain…. Was it because he’d probably never hear her again? A reminder of what a shit job he’d done on her final wish? Maybe he just needed something physical to hold onto the memory of her?

He got the sneaking suspicion that it was a mix of all three. 

The skeleton shook his head, shoving down the dull ache that had started to pit itself in his chest. He gave a haphazard glance behind him towards the chair, longing to return to the peaceful embrace of sleep. 

But, that wasn’t happening. So he made his way to the kitchen instead. 

The fridge was virtually empty, aside from a few cans of condensed milk, that pie they’d found, and leftovers from last night’s pasta. Sans opted for the pasta, snatching the tupperware from his side of the fridge. He elbowed the fridge shut, not wanting to even look at that pie right now. 

Papyrus had urged him to try a slice. Apparently it was really good. But, he couldn’t bite back the feeling that if he tried it, he might break down. And he could not afford to do that in front of his little bro. It’d be too much for both of them. 

Sans retrieved a fork from the drawer before heading back to the living room, a sigh exiting his through teeth. His limbs, which had begged so persistently for movement, were now heavy and stiff from sleep. Exhaustion still pressed into his frame, despite his sleeping habits. The skeleton groaned, wishing his body would just make up its mind on whether or not he was tired. 

He slumped into his chair, opting to ignore the aches and pains for now. The set up of the dining area was something akin to that Goldielocks story, with three oaken chairs surrounding the table, all beautifully carved. Papyrus had certainly done a number on that grime, shining the wood considerably since he had last seen them. 

Sans had claimed the shortest seat at the table, it was less leg work that way. Plus, it had conveniently lined up with his side back home. Even with that small victory, he couldn’t help but wonder which chair had belonged to her. 

He popped open the lid of the tupperware sharply, feeling his nasal cavity wrinkle. He’d rather just eat than follow that train of thought. His chest was tight enough as it was. 

The dish was Fettuccine Alfredo. A new classic of Papyrus’s. The shorter skeleton hadn’t bothered to heat it up. There wasn’t a microwave here anyways. The skeleton dipped his fork in, absentmindedly nibbling on a piece of meat. 

Papyrus had certainly improved over the past year. Despite the cold, he could taste the lack of the fine layer of ash that usually accompanied his brother’s home cooked meals. It’d be better with some mayo mixed in, maybe some sprinkles, even a few assorted nuts….. Unfortunately, they had no mayo or nuts, and the sprinkles were back in the kitchen. 

And reserved for the rock. 

Said stone was residing on the table in front of him. He gave it a cynical smirk, coyly eyeing it’s lumpy, grey form. 

“yer lucky…. ya know that right?”

He grumbled, hoarse voice cutting through the silent air. The skeleton picked at his meal with the fork, eyes fixing themselves back on the frigid pasta. 

“just sittin’ there. nothin’ to do. nothin’ to say. bet that rocks”

He let out a dry laugh, a pang of melancholy still tugging at his soul. Just sitting around, with no expectations to meet, and no one to let down…. Just existing. Floating through everything without any worries or meaning. Now that sounded like the life. Man, what he would give-

Wait a second. 

Was he getting envious over a rock?

God, now that was a new level of pathetic. 

The skeleton shoved another bite into his mouth, permanent smile twisting into something that almost resembled a sneer. He seemed to be hitting new levels of pathetic with each passing day. 

But was that anything new?

The slippery slope to the failure of a person he’d become had started long ago, all when that old machine out back finally picked up on something. 4 hazy years had passed, filled to the brim with lost time, nauseatingly prevalent deja vu, and strange dreams he could never remember. But that hadn’t been his all time low. 

His close second was 5 weeks after the human had torn through the underground. He barely remembered that time. It was an awful cacophony of sleep, booze, and his brother that actually got him to the other side of that pit. Even after Papyrus had to literally lock him in the bathroom to get him to take care of himself, he had never hit rock bottom as hard as he did here. 

Not being jealous of a rock. That was just anouther stupid thing to feel sorry about. No, it was the fact that on multiple occasions he had actually hoped that the kid would just reset. That whatever anomaly had persisted before them would just give it up already. 

It was disgusting. The idea that the very thing he’d been dreading for the past 4 ½ years was his idea of a saving grace. He almost yearned to see that old ticker shoot up a number, be saved from this fresh hell he’d found himself in. 

And yes, he’d not remember the year to come (aside from half remembered night terrors) but he’d at least be somewhere happier. He’d be able to live in a hopeful village, listen to Papyrus chatter about training with Undyne, slack off normally. Alphys would be alive, and he’d be able to text her at 3 in the morning about some off handed, half formed idea that went nowhere. Hell, he even missed watching MTT TV, and all those stupid little things he’d taken for granted. 

But most importantly, every day he could come and crack jokes with some mysterious old lady. He could make her laugh so hard she bleated again, and listen to her gush about the new recipe she tried, and just… just be with his best friend.

It was horrendously selfish. Begging time to just bend backwards for a few days of peace. He was disgusting for even thinking of such things. 

Sans angrily wiped at the small blue specs starting to form at the edge of his sockets. His non-existent throat was tight, making it difficult to suck in air. He needed to calm down, who knew when Paps would get home. The taller skeleton didn’t need to deal with his older brother’s issues right now. Sans didn’t think he could take one of those oppressively concerned stares right now. 

He shoved another bite of pasta into his mouth, savouring the horribly unappealing texture. It was so much better hot and drizzled in mayo, nuts, and sprinkles. But, he really didn’t deserve that, so he settled for cold and sad. 

Ha. Just like the person eating it.

Sans hunched alittle, trying to return to the sorry attempt at a peaceful meal. The rock was still glaring mockingly at him. He glared back, taking another bite. A familiar itch had begun to creep through his bones, earning itself a weary sigh. 

He could really use a smoke right about now. 

The skeleton wrapped his fingers against the table, a sour look crossing his face. Of course he was getting a craving now. It shouldn’t surprise him that his body was sabotaging itself again. 

He’d brought a pack just in case. It was safely concealed in his ‘new room’’s sock drawer, wrapped up in a polka dotted pair. They were the only thing he’d actually unpacked, purely for the aspect that he didn’t want Papyrus finding them. The taller skeleton would nag him to hell and back for picking up the old habit. But with Paps gone and an open area out back…. it would be too easy to go get them. 

Sans chewed on the fork contemplatively, brow bones furrowing in thought. There were only 2 things holding him back from indulging his cravings.

First of all, there was the physical distance. The pack was all the way in ‘his room’, and he was probably the farthest he could possibly get from there. Aside from the kitchen. He could always take a short cut, but he really didn’t want to go to that ‘in between’ place right now. Plus, he’d have to stand up. Either that or land flat on his ass, and he knew he wouldn’t get back up again if that happened. 

The other reason was one he was bit more cautious about admitting…. He’d been sober for an entire year now. And even he had to admit that that was something. 

This wouldn’t have been his first relapse, but this was probably the longest he’d actually lasted since he’d picked up the habit. And it was the only worthwhile thing he’d done last year.

Even if he’d only sobered up out of convenience. Even if it was only because his pack was across the room and he couldn’t find it within himself to roll out of bed to get it. Even if he stopped just because he already felt like shit and deserved to feel worse, making withdrawals a welcome punishment. 

But that bright smile on Papyrus’s face when he let him in on his progress didn’t lie. Sans clung to it now, reminding himself how disappointed his younger brother would be if he started up again.

Those cigs in the sock drawer were just an insurance. A fresh pack just in case this place somehow got worse. 20 little reliefs in case this place turned unbearable. That’s what he had bought them for and that’s what he intended to use them for. 

He could hold out for Papyrus. 

He couldn’t take a disappointed leer right now. He couldn’t take the overwhelming concern in Papyrus’s eyes. That twisting, sickening pity. He couldn’t-

Sans bit down on an empty fork, sending small reverberations through his mandible. He snapped out of his thoughts, glancing down at the empty tupperware. 

Extra magic was buzzing through his bones, an unwelcome side effect of eating a little too much. Ugh…. now he was never going to be able to get back to sleep. 

He tossed the fork into the container, a dejected huff exiting his nasal cavity. He wiped his teeth off with his sleeve, leaning against the small chair. Ok. Now what?

Sans shot a longing gaze at his chair…. Nah. 

Wasn’t worth it. It got too warm under all those blankets when you couldn’t sleep. Not to mention the painful blue reminder next to it. His gaze found its way to the kitchen. Surprising Papyrus with dinner could at least pass the time?

He shot down that idea as soon as it appeared. He couldn’t even boil water without burning it, let alone a home made meal with no recipe. Nah, Paps would be better off cooking for himself. 

Sit here and wish this wasn’t happening? Yeah. That sounded good to him. 

He leaned on the table, pushing the empty container out of his way. There were but a few moments of silence before a nagging voice in the back of his skull started up again. It reminded him that he’d skipped showering last night. He gazed blankly at the hallway, considering if it was worth the effort. 

Oh come on. It was a walk through the house, followed by washing up, then walking back through the house. Just about 20 minutes of barely any work. It shouldn’t be this daunting of a task. 

Jesus, he was worse off than he thought if a small stroll was enough to put him off. 

Then again, her room was on the way. He didn’t want to deal with that. He didn’t want to be reminded. Even worse, his own room was next to it. Inside were those tempting little cigarettes that he wasn’t sure he would be able to resist. Maybe he should just-

No. 

In a rare moment of resistance, he stood up, nearly knocking the chair down behind him. As disgustingly pathetic he was, he refused to let Papyrus see that again. He would not allow himself to slip as far as he did a few months ago, at least not at the surface layer. 

Papyrus had enough on his plate as it was, let alone Sans’ stupid issues. 

He shambled to his discarded bag, tugging out a fresh shirt and some shorts. Then, it was off to the bathroom. It was at the end of that yellow hallway, just past his room. He considered just short cutting, but didn’t really feel like expending the magical energy. His body was sluggish and tired as it was. 

Sans only realized his mistake when he passed the stairwell. He paused, just gazing at the thing made his nonexistent stomach turn. Foreboding was an understatement, those rickety old steps reeked of downright tragedy. 

And yet he still stepped forward, running a hand across the old wood banister. Something deep inside him wanted to know what made this place give off such vile feelings. He didn’t try to stave it off, rather gazing down into the darkness. 

He had to be cautious. He was a weakling. All it would take was one good hit and he was dust. He wasn’t an adventurer, this was a dumb idea. 

But he was already heading down the steps. 

The extra clothes were forgotten behind him, a crumpled heap next to the dresser. He paused again, eyeing the mirror to his right. It was clean now, clearly reflecting back his haggard features. 

Deeper bags had crept under his sockets, eye lights dimmed to a weary grey. His wrinkly turtle neck had slipped down abit, revealing the scorching on his spine. The scars started just above his clavicles before creeping down into his rib cage. An unfortunate result of his smoking habits, blackened and brittle bones….

He wasn’t ready for whatever lay beyond this staircase. 

Unfortunately, his legs weren’t responding to common sense. He forged forewords, pushing into the darkness. 

What laid at the bottom of the stairs could only be described as a catacomb. Ancient stone covered the rounded walls, forming a brick tunnel. It was much darker here, the air suffocatingly still. It smelled like rot, but he couldn’t tell if that was from the decaying moss scattered across the ceiling or something more…. sinister. 

The tunnel extended for about 80 feet before turning sharply to the right. Sans felt himself freeze up, immediately on edge. He wouldn’t be able to see past that turn normally, let alone with this kind of darkness. Who knew what was behind there. 

He should turn back. 

Last time he had done something this impulsive, he’d deeply regretted it. It was that little book upstairs that had sent him over the edge again. He should just ignore this, pretend it wasn’t a problem until it either resolved itself or went away. Just like always!

Unfortunately, the rational part of his brain was quickly overshadowed by a long ignored desire. He needed to know what was on the other end of this tunnel. He needed to know why it made him feel so twisted up and awful. He had a sneaking suspicion but-

Sans started to walk again. 

His footsteps were painfully loud, echoing against the stony walls. The only other sound was the occasional raspy breath he sucked in to calm the nerves, followed quickly by a soft exhale. 

60 feet. 

He should turn back. This would end badly. It always ended badly for him. But he had to know if he was right. 

40 feet. 

He could still turn back. It wasn’t too late to scamper up the stairs and pretend this wasn’t happening. But he had to know if she-

20 feet. 

It was getting darker. The rotting smell was stronger. His breath hitched, feeling his magic start to pool in his hands. Just in case. 

10 feet. 

Point of no return. A slight pause, then he kept going. 

5 feet. 

When did he start shaking?

2 feet. 

A deep breath, then…

The skeleton darted around the corner, half expecting to be greeted by murderous eyes or the glint of sharp claws. Instead there was nothing. 

His shoulders relaxed slightly, sockets closing as he let out a small sigh. His nerves were shot, making him all shaky and sweaty. This place was getting him all worked up, his intuition was probably just-

And then he opened his eyes. 

About 30 feet ahead lay a tattered, purple lump of fabric in front of a familiar old door. The anxiety returned, increasing 10 fold. 

He took a shaky step forwards, eye lights still taking in everything. Ok… a ripped old dress in the middle of the floor. That was weird, but-

Oh god no. 

He was nearly on top of her before he registered what was scattered in and around the ruined fabric. Dust. Lots of it. 

The skeleton felt magic rise in the back of his throat, threatening to spill over if he took another step towards the remains. 

Her remains. 

Instead he back pedalled, nausea and shock overtaking him. He didn’t even make it an entire step before his knees gave out. 

His tibias hit the ground as the darkness consumed him. 

The impact sent reverberations through his entire body, reducing him into more of a shaking mess.

This wasn’t happening. 

But it was.

That dress… he’d seen countless similar pairs in her wardrobe while snooping. That meant….. 

He already knew that. Why was this so shocking? 

He almost sent a look back towards her dust, but thought better of it. Instead he focused on his shaky hands, trying to get his breathing under control.

Closure shouldn’t have felt this awful. 

His hands finally stopped going out of focus long enough for a chilly revolation to take him. The stone beneath his hands wasn’t purple. Nor stone. It was a pitch black, nearly reflective tile. 

He ripped his eyelights upwards, finally taking in his surroundings. The tunnel was made up of this tile, blurry versions of himself reflected at nearly every angle. The door ahead had been reduced to a dull grey, with deepened black cracks spiraling across it. 

A grey dress lay ahead of him, but he kept his eyes off of it. He caught the briefest glance of black sand seeping from within it, a notion that made his throat tighten and stomach twist. 

So… he’d taken a shortcut without realizing. 

He was in the ‘in between’ place. Ok. He’d unravel that one later. First he needed to focus on breathing. His soul was hammering, sending magical pulses through his body. His eye had caught by now, blazing against the darkness. 

Ok. In. Out. In. Out. 

He followed with his breathing, desperately repeating the mantra in his head. His vision was blacking out at the sides now, but he couldn’t tell if that was from this place or his failure to stay calm.

He shouldn’t be so suprised. This shouldn’t hurt so much. He’d suspected for a long time now that she was-

The skeleton gripped at his sides, fingers digging between his ribs. He rocked a little, holding himself in a tight hug. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget and ignore the world around him. 

-That she was dead. What? Was he afraid to admit it now? Get it through that thick skull. She’s gone. 

The vertigo was coming back. He held himself tighter, only now noticing the buzzing numbness in his fingers and cheeks. He felt like he was going to be sick. He was such an idiot. Why did he do this to himself-

Stop it. In. Out. In. Out. 

Sans rasped, the pounding in his soul started to slow abit. His head had bowed all the way to the ground by now, the cool tile heavenly against the inferno in his head. 

In and out. In and out. The rhythm had changed. 

Slowly but surely, his magic started to ebb out. He kept breathing, a few pitiful cries finding their way into the pattern. 

In and out. In and out. C’mon idiot, almost there. 

He couldn’t tell how long he sat there, just breathing and holding himself and shaking. Occasionally, a choked sob would push its way through his hyperventilating, but he didn’t have the energy to try and stop them. It didn’t matter anyways. He was alone here. It was alright to cry. 

Finally the vertigo subsided enough to push himself up. Sans rocked back onto his knees, so he was sitting upright again. He finally let his eyes open, bracing himself against the tile. 

His reflection stared back, slightly distorted by the tile. Tears were flowing down his skull, eye lights dimmed and exhausted. 

What the hell was he going to do now?

He was still shaking and nauseous. He couldn’t even feel his legs. He couldn’t even look ahead of him without getting choked up. There was no way Papyrus could see him like this. 

But he also couldn’t stay here. The longer he did, the harder it would be to leave. That’s how this place worked. He was lucky to have landed on stone, if he were back in Snowden he would’ve sunk by now. 

None of this would even be happening if he was still in Snowden. 

Ugh… why was this so hard?! He’d known she was gone. Literally all evidence had pointed to that conclusion. There was no reason he should feel like someone was running over his soul with a semi. 

So what if he’d never get to meet her face to face. So what if he’d never learn her name. So what if there were so many little things that they would never get to tell eachother, so many days he’d never get to sum up in a shitty joke, so many times where he would have made her laugh. 

Dammit, he was crying again. 

The skeleton shot a distasteful look at his reflection. It looked back, disgusted. That wasn’t too surprising, considering that’s how reflections worked. Still, he couldn’t help but notice how appropriate it was. 

Ugh… He just wanted to go to sleep. He just wanted to go numb again. He just wanted to forget this was happening. To forget what he had found. 

To forget her. 

Sans winced at that thought. He really was selfish. Out of everyone, of course the most useless monster in the underground had to protect her memory. 

Whatever. He was done. 

The skeleton hit the ground next to his knees. It was flat palmed, magic pooling into his fingers. The colour returned, stone becoming rough again. The air grew heavier, smelling of rot and decay and dust again. 

What the-

Nonono. He was aiming for his chair. Not here. Not back with her remains. No. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to think about this. He didn’t want to feel like this. 

But he was. And he did. And he had to. 

Sans felt his breath hitch, a low chuckle clawing its way out of him. Of course he couldn’t even get running away right. He sent her dust a glance, tears starting up again. 

He was going to miss that laugh. 

He was such an idiot. He’d done this to himself. He could’ve just taken the easy way out. He could’ve just ignored this. He should’ve just gone on with his day, not gone down the stairs and gotten this awful closure. He could’ve gone on hoping that by some off chance she had decided to stop talking to him. God, he was such a bone head-

Ha. 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha. 

She would’ve loved that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who boy that was probably the angstiest shit I’ve ever written. Thank you all for sticking with me so far. I know it’s p depressing and long lmao. Anyways, next chapter will be in 2 weeks. It’s a loooong one ;)
> 
> Chapter Summary:
> 
> Sans has been having a really rough time since he found Toriel’s diary. His depression has gotten worse, and he’s having a hard time finding the energy to take care of himself. Add in his self loathing and he’s having a real bad time. 
> 
> It is revealed that he’s staving off urges to pick up smoking again. Paps is the only one keeping him from falling back into old habits. Also, while he won’t remember what happens, he’s desperately hoping for a reset to save them. And he hates himself for it. 
> 
> Anyways, he goes to take a shower. But, the stair case is calling to him. So, against his best judgements, he goes down. He wants to know what feels so bad about this place. Well. Turns out it’s Toriel’s dust. 
> 
> He panic teleports, ending up in that mysterious ‘In Between’ world from Chapter 3. Then proceeds to have a panic attack because that’s his bestie’s body. Bottled up feelings are not fun. 
> 
> After managing to calm himself, our skeletal hero tries to head back to his safe haven (Tori’s chair). But he’s so overwhelmed that he ends up back with her dust. 
> 
> More self loathing and puns follow. Then the chapter ends with him with her dust.


	7. KENSOPIA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenosopia - noun -
> 
> The eerie feeling one gets in a place that should be crowded or full of people but is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez guys, this is a looooong chapter. Technically, this is actually the first half of a freakishly long chapter that I cut in half because I maxed the word count 3 quarters of the way through. Oopsie. This is also the turning point that I realized this was Papyrus centric fanfic lMAO
> 
> Anyways, enjoy ;)

A loud clatter rung through the ruins as the front door slammed into its neighboring brick wall. Papyrus gave it a small glance, perhaps that was a bit too forceful. Oh well, he doubted the sound woke his brother. Sans could sleep through just about anything. No harm, no foul!

The skeleton strode forewords, shutting the door as he took in the purple walls and the smell of old leaves. A smile had crept across his teeth, another surge of excitement running through his bones. At the risk of exaggerating, today may have just been one of the most important days of his newest quest. He was taking a tremendous step forward in the exploration of these catacombs: the first one! His goal was to head east, follow the path, and try to introduce himself to a few local monsters.

He had not made the…. greatest first impression.

Still! He intended to do far better during this adventure. Even if his older (and admittedly ever so slightly more charismatic) brother would not be accompanying him, Papyrus refused to put this trip off any longer. They had been here for an entire five days, and he was getting tired of trying to convince his brother to join him. All the shorter skeleton wanted to do was sleep in that recliner and not interact with anyone or anything.

Sans had gotten a habit of doing this when they went to new places. Keeping to himself, staying inside, refusing to even try to make new friends. The past year had not made things any better. Papyrus found himself wondering again if it would be harder to get Sans on his feet this time. The first time they’d moved it had been nearly impossible to get him out to meet the locals-

Papyrus shook his head alittle, straightening up. He shouldn’t think such negative things! Sans would come around eventually. He always snapped back from these little reclusive phases, so there was nothing to worry about. Not even with the added threat of his odd behaviors and strange breathing episodes. There was absolutely nothing he should be worried about. But in the meantime, one of them had to go out and assert himself!

Papyrus let out a confident humph, readjusting his bag. He’d brought it along as a ‘just in case’. Water, some snacks, and a small first aid pouch lay inside, along with some dog treats and a walky talky. Sans has the other half of the pair by his recliner, so they could chat if anything went on the way side. All and all, everything an extraordinary adventurer such as himself would need!

Speaking of adventuring, he needed to start on that instead of sitting around in his own thoughts.

He started walking, smiling at that old tree as he passed. It looked unchanged to the untrained eye, but after two days of pouring magic into it he was starting to notice it had perked up a bit. The limbs held a little higher, bark a little brighter, like a frown that had the workings of a grin behind it. Needless to say, he was proud of the old thing. 

Papyrus gave it a small pat before moving through the exit to the garden. The pitch black hallway was still a bit intimidating, but he found himself finding it less and less scary each time he moved through. The room they had first appeared in materialized in front of him. It was unchanged, aside from a few extra leaves that had found their way in. He could take care of that later. He drug his feet through the leaf pile as he went through, kicking up the smell.

Decaying leaves were one of his favourites. They made him think of happier times and warm smiles. Scarlet leaves, good fruit, his brother’s laugh. All a bit more distant than he would have liked.

He enjoyed the nostalgia for a moment before moving on, coming to the end of the room. To the left was familiar, an old stone tunnel leading to the lookout point. He glared down the path, rubbing the hairline cracks still marking his nasal bones.

He’d focus on that way later, with his brother. They would be exploring the city together, it was only fair that way. But right now he was taking a small adventure, a simple one day trip. So instead, he turned his sights to the other path. To the East right? That was his goal. Er, at least what he figured what must be east, he didn't actually have a compass with him. 

Either way, he took the corridor to the right instead of wasting his time in thinking about it further. 

The corridor was rather short, leading to a series of small spike pads. Papyrus felt his grin grow, it seemed puzzles were just as prevalent here as they were in Snowden! He scanned the wall, searching for any sort of clues or pointers. The holes for the spikes were slightly too big, meaning they had to push out to get to this point. Therefore, they had to go back in! Which meant there had to be a switch here somewhere…. Ah hah!

He felt a small pang of disappointment at the realization that the instructions were on the other side of the spikes. It had to be a one way puzzle, meaning he was on the bum end of the challenge. But, that was just a small deterrent, he would just have to solve it on the return trip! Save the best for last, as his brother always said.

He raised his boot, bringing it down above the pad. Now, most monsters would’ve fallen victim to gravity, shishkebabing whatever hand or foot that had dared challenge the spikes. But Papyrus was not most monsters.

He simply stepped above the spikes, hovering a few centimeters above their tips. Then it was just two easy steps before he touched down again, walking along as if it were an average stroll. 

The room ahead made his grin brighten further. Three pillars sprawled at seemingly random areas across the room, just begging to be explored further. The small plaque of what could only be instructions was attached to the wall next to the closest pillar. It was clearly the set up to some masterful puzzle, one he was just itching to solve. Still, Papyrus held strong, assuring himself that it would be far more satisfying after he’d explored a bit. That was what this trip was about after all.

The rest of the room was less remarkable, same violet walls and cracked up floors. There was no way to go east, so the skeleton opted instead to head down. Yes, it was not entirely according to plan, but this room was distinct enough to be able to find his way back!

The next room was just as intriguing. It was nearly an exact replica of the last area, put turned on it’s side. Another plaque, more pillars, same grimy floor, and overgrown walls; down to every little detail. But, with but one crucial difference: At this warped angle, several large switches were visible.

Ah, so it was two roomer! Personally, he would have gone up to three, but not everyone was as skilled an architect as himself. Still, these puzzles would be best done in order, so he pressed on. The only way forewords was to the West… which was in the opposite direction he was supposed to be heading.

But! Plans are subject to change and he would find his way on track eventually!

Another narrow hallway greeted him, this time with a series of steps leading downwards at a rather sharp angle. He opted instead to half jump half float down. There was no good reason to risk tripping up in the dark after all.

A small flutter of delight found itself in Papyrus’s ribcage as he broke back into the light. The room before him was another duplicate, rotated further to the right. Same pillars, but this time with only two switches. Three rooms! It seemed this puzzle maker was as skilled as himself. Perhaps it was a memory game? Mabey a riddle? Clearly the spikes were meant to go down when a switch was pressed, the only question was wich- 

He was getting ahead of himself. He glided above the rusted spikes, chiding himself for nearly spoiling such artisanship. Waiting to solve these would be much better than to do them out of order. The idea was poposterious! How dare he even consider the notion.

Papyrus strode to the other side of the room, disappearing into another pitch black corridor. It was a stairwell, steeper and a lot darker than the last. He floated down easily enough, not wanting to have to stare at his feet to stay upright. It was unwise to keep one’s eyes off of the shadows.

Now, it wasn’t like he was afraid of the dark. The darkest of shadows were actually the places he felt most comfortable in. They were familiar ground, territories where he felt securely himself. Even on those days where nowhere else did. 

No, it was what could lie inside of those dark places that left him wary. This was an unfamiliar hall in an unfamiliar ruin. He could be trampling right through someone’s patch of darkness without even realizing it. Any number of tricksters or brutes could be hiding in one of these dark spots, so long as they were still and patient enough. One could never truly trust an unfamiliar shadow, after all-

His thoughts were quelled as he broke through to the light. The skeleton blinked, shaking off those old anxieties as he strode forewords. He needed to get back on task and stop worrying about things that did not need to be worried about. He found himself scoffing as he took in the room around him.

Four was abit excessive wasn’t it? 

Another replica room laid ahead, rotated yet again. It was identical, all but the three switches plainly visible ahead of him. Strangely enough, the spiked plates were retracted. Rust spiralled around the holes, and a small spider had made its home in one of them. It seemed this old puzzle hadn’t been used in quite a long time.

He walked forwards, a small pang of guilt running through him. He shouldn’t be so judgemental on such a lonely contraption. The feeling of no one wanting to appreciate one’s artsmanship…. It was one he knew all too well. 

Papyrus adjusted himself, shaking off those negative feelings. Now was not the time! He needed to stay positive and keep moving forwards. He marched to the end of the room, giving the doorway a little pat as he passed. It was a silent promise that he’d return soon enough.

On the brightside, he was actually heading East again! Papyrus crammed a little more pep in his step as he maneuvered through another dark hall. The ruins seemed to be teeming with these places, small pockets where no light could push through. But, they were short enough and no one was inhabiting them, at least no one who had cared to be noticed.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the clang of metal beneath his boots. It seemed he had returned to the light, and was now standing on another rusted spike plate. Thankfully, the pointed edges were safely beneath the surface, or he’d be in quite a bit of pain right now. Goodness, he really needed to watch where he was headed.

Papyrus tutted softly, scolding himself for being so distant again. He needed to pay attention! He needed to remain vigilant and mentally document this journey. He was supposed to be a brilliant explorer, to be able to relay all this to Sans later. He wouldn’t be able to do any of that if he was just bumbling around, lost in thought.

Aaaand he was doing it again.

Papyrus shook his head, coming back to the real world. Ok. New room. It was just as old and crumbled as the last few. But, it was thankfully not another rotated room. Rather, it was a long hall with six weirdly shaped mounds of dirt to either side of it. Papyrus approached one, trying to discern what exactly was strange about the small mound.

It took him a moment to realize that it wasn’t even dirt at all. Well, not exactly. The mound was made up of concentrated dirt, leaves, and loose magic. A trap door meant to give out under anyone who walked across, trapping them in whatever pit or hall lay below. 

Ah hah! Another puzzle! He gave a look back at the sunken spikes, a small frown on his face. It was a shame someone else had already solved it. Though, he supposed his feet would beg to differ, considering he’d led them right over where very sharp spikes had just been. Come to think of it, it was strange that the puzzle was still deactivated. Usually, they only stayed down for a couple of hours after being solved. But, considering the rust and old cobwebs, this one had been down for far longer.

Papyrus let out a small humph, squatting down to get a better look at it. Yes, it seemed no one had taken care of this old puzzle in a long time. A quick knock on the metal revealed that it was weakening, most likely rusted on the inside as well. He carefully slid his fingers into the spike holes, pulling up on the plate. It didn’t give, stubbornly staying closed. Either this thing was rusted down or just locked well. If only he had his tool box, he could-

Drat, he was getting side tracked again.

Papyrus released the lid, shaking his head a little. The skeleton rose, electing to come back to this old contraption later. At this rate, he’d have to devote an entire day to recalibrating all these abandoned puzzles. Which, honestly sounded like an absolute delight. After all, someone was going to have to look after these!

The skeleton nodded, turning sharply on his heel and heading eastwards. There was a short hallway ahead. It seemed alot brighter than the ones he had been through before, and far less all consuming. In fact he could even see through it somewhat, and hear-

Papyrus felt his soul skip a beat. 

Ever so distantly, he could hear the soft murmurs of a conversation. He couldn’t quite pick up the words yet, being as far as he was and with how quiet they were talking. But he could pick out three distinct voices, with a possible forth. The first was gruff and throaty, intermixed with what almost sounded like ribbits. The next to speak up was similar, but more femine and slightly softer. Then finally there was the one who hissed instead of spoke, words sharp and quiet.

Over all, they sounded like a nice group of monsters.

Papyrus stayed still, attempting to plan the perfect entrance to introduce himself. He was unfortunately lacking in pyrotechnics, so he would have to do this the old fashioned, boring way. With a smile and a friendly wave. It really shouldn’t be too difficult! He was the greatest after all, it would be anyone’s loss to not talk to him.

Or to run away from him. Again.

He shook off that thought, readily adjusting his bag. It would be fine. He had this! Everyone would want to be his friend here. They had all just gotten off to a rocky start. He just had to ignore his shaky hands and the annoying butterflies in his ribs. Goodness, he was almost as giddily nervous as he was on his first day of grade school!

But this was going to be far better than the disaster that had been Ms. Pelling’s class! 

These monsters would actually appreciate his fantastic personality and stunning features. No one here would refuse to talk to him, or make him sit alone, or call him demining (yet admittedly clever) names! And he was sure, given the chance, these possible friends would never pick him last in a game of dodgeball!

Yes, this time would be different.

Papyrus puffed out his chest, straightened his back, and brightened his smile. Then, with one more silent reassurance, He strode into the next room.

The sight of two froggits and a vegetoid greeted him. They were all huddled together in a loose circle, whispering with one another. The vegetoid was talking now, but Papyrus couldn’t quite catch it’s words thanks to it’s soft voice. Whatever it was saying, it’s tone was rather solemn and sharp. Like bad news or an angry secret. 

Another voice he hadn’t heard yet chirped out, coming from somewhere in the wall. It took papyrus a moment to locate the monster it was coming from, but eventually his eyes landed on a tiny froggit peeking out from the stone. It was still practically a tadpole, with weak little legs and covered in it’s baby down. It only squeaked out a few words before returning to its silence.

The vegetoid opened its mouth to say something, but Papyrus beat it to the punch. He didn’t want to be rude and completely interrupt someone after all! Just half way would be fine.

“Good morning! I am the-”

He barely got out half of his greeting before the Vegitoid’s eyes got very big. It cried out a quick, “Run!” before screwing itself into the ground. Dirt flew as it burrowed, forcing Papyrus to take a step back.

The froggits followed suit, diving for the nearest snags and small tunnels in the wall. The smaller of the two grabbed the tiny frog from the wall before they left through an inky hole near the base of the wall. The other stuck around for nearly two seconds longer before darting into the same burrow. 

“- great Papyrus……”

He finished before he could stop himself. The skeleton lowered his hand, which had still been pathetically waving to no one. He was tempted to go after them, but he had the nasty feeling that would make things worse.

That…. That could have gone far better.  
He felt his brows knit as he tried to figure out exactly what he was doing wrong. He hadn’t chased, he hadn’t touched, he was barely even yelling! It made no sense that they would try and run. Most monsters were polite enough to at least awkwardly chat for abit before making an excuse to leave! 

It was like these monsters were afraid of him.

But that didn’t make any sense. He always tried so hard to come off as cuddly and friendly as he possibly could. Big smiles, goofy acts, warm hugs, anything it took to make them see that he was just here to make friends. So, why were they afraid? 

He shot a look at his gloves, a grimace creeping its way across his face. Maybe they were-

No, that was preposterous. Every monster there had claws, so why would they be afraid of his? He was just being silly again. Even if their claws were all small and rounded, made for burrowing or climbing up walls. Not sharp and jagged and always present when they shouldn’t be-

He was probably just too loud. 

Yes. That was it. They were only startled, not downright terrified. He was just over reacting like he always did. Next time would be better. He’d speak quieter and less suddenly!

He had to do better next time.

Papyrus nodded to himself, straightening up again. The room around him was a bit smaller than the last, riddled with small cracks and hidey holes. Those burrows could’ve led anywhere in this old ruin. It was quite a shame that only froggits and the occasional whimsun could squeeze through.

Though, if he squeezed, Papyrus suspected that Sans may have been able to wriggle through one of the larger holes.

The mental image of Sans hanging halfway out of the wall with that dopey grin made Papyrus start to crack up. His brother would probably have a million jokes for that situation, and he’d tell them all instead of actually trying to get out. Then Papyrus would have to swoop in and save him, and they’d have a good laugh about it.

He missed it when Sans was like that.

Papyrus shook his head. Woah, where did that come from? His brother was still the same goofy trickster he'd always been. He was just a little more… down lately. The worst was behind them. He was worrying too much-

So much for not getting side tracked.

Papyrus sighed, there wasn’t a way to head East, but there was a way Northward. He quickly took it, speeding up to out run the bad thoughts. If he didn’t think about it, then it wouldn’t grate on him, right? He sure hoped so.

The skeleton forged forewords, striding through another needlessly dark hall. Who had designed this place with no light source anyways? It was a flat hallway so it wasn’t likely he’d get tripped up, but there were several more fragile monsters who could stumble on a set of stairs and-

Oh my-

He pushed into the light, only to be startled by a very condensed room. Er, rather it was two small rooms connected by a hallway. But it wasn’t the cracked violet walls and grimy floors that caught his attention. Nor the vibrant scarlett leaves scattered in the centre of the hallway. No, what had really surprised him was what was laying atop the leaves.

A small, lightly glowing lump of ghost.

That… That was Undyne’s neighbor wasn’t it? Napper-something or other. There was a slight moment of apprehension, they… they wouldn’t tell Undyne he was here would they? Nono, that was silly. If he was kind and asked them nicely, they wouldn’t snitch. Plus, they might even end up wanting to be his friend!

They had their headphones on, the chord lightly floating off before disappearing into nothingness. Papyrus could ever so slightly hear techno music coming from them, but he couldn’t even begin to place what song. He much preferred the rock genre. Whatever it was, they seemed to be enjoying it, considering the contented look on their face.

But, most importantly, they had yet to notice him. And considering their closed eyes and softly flowing sheets, they wouldn’t for some time. He had some time to prepare himself. He adjusted himself, brightening up his smile. Ok, he just had to be a little quieter this time. Just a little less surprising. Then, they would surely not be afraid of him.  
Er, not afraid. Surprised and slightly overwhelmed. 

After a few more moments, Papyrus strode over, taking his place confidently beside their sheets. Then he waited, grinning down at the ghost expectantly.

Nothing happened.

Ok… So they still had yet to notice him. That was fine, they could take as much time as they needed. After all, he had all day to explore, right?

Still Nothing.

Papyrus coughed into his arm awkwardly, trying to get their attention. They shifted slightly, an eye nearly creaking open. The ghost started to scrunch in on themselves a little, eyes closing even tighter. Strangely enough, they started to softly whisper “z” over and over again.

At least that was something?

He contemplated saying something, but didn’t really want to interrupt their z-ing. He’d been trying to work on that after Undyne pointed out his little habit. It would be a horrendous first-ish impression on a new friend.

After two minutes though, he was growing abit antsy.

Perhaps they still hadn’t noticed him. Maybe they just z-ed like this normally? He really didn’t know this spector after all. It would be alright to interrupt them if he wasn’t intentionally being rude! 

“Hello there!”

He chirped, peering down at the ghost expectantly. They didn’t respond, softly letting out a few more ‘z’s. They were practically frozen now, their sheets fluttering ever so slightly. 

Ok, they still hadn’t heard him. This wasn’t just about making friends anymore. Considering how rude it would be to step over them, he also couldn’t progress until they moved out of the way.

“Excuse me?” He chirped out, nudging them lightly with his boot. It felt weird, like he was nudging a pillow that wasn’t entirely there. “Are you alright?”

The ghost finally opened their eyes, shifting into a more upright position. Their sheets billowed softly, far more frantically than before. Papyrus held his smile, not wanting to scare them off too.

“You are Naberblock, right?”  
He asked brightly, hoping he had gotten their name right. Names were such slippery things, always managing to get away from him when he needed them most.

Despite their lack of pupils, the spector kept their eyes pointed strictly towards the ground. Papyrus didn’t blame them, that stone was a very interesting texture. Either that, or they were uncomfortable. But he didn’t want to consider that a possibility yet. He was a very comforting person after all!

“oh.... uh….”

They finally spoke, fluttering their sheets a little as they did so. Their voice was hollow and ever so slightly echoey, yet somehow soft enough that Papyrus had to strain himself to hear.

“it’s actually…. uh…. never mind….” 

They cut themselves off before they even started, eyes still locked on the brick. Papyrus shifted his bag, biting down the ever increasing awkwardness that had followed this conversation. He just had to hold strong, this always happened when meeting new monsters, right? In the meantime, he might as well get their name right. He was just opening his jaw to say something when-

“oh…. i’m in your way, aren't i- and i just cut you off…. oh dear….. i’m sorry…..”

Papyrus stared at them a moment, forcing the smile to brighten on his face. Oh god, in trying to make it less awkward he’d made it more awkward. Oh dear, and now they were starting to fade!

He raised his hands apologetically, “Oh! That’s alright I-”

But they had already dissipated, fading away into thin air. Just the two white orbs that made up their eyes and a set of headphones before they were completely gone. He was left standing alone. Again.

“-do it all the time…”

Papyrus sighed, contemplating whether they were invisible, or just able to disappear like his brother could. Either way this was futile. He’d scared off another person. And this was one who would rat him out to Undyne!

Papyrus let his brows furrow, smile dipping into a cringe. The whole operation was about to fall apart because he lacked social skills. Nabi-whateverthiernamewas was going to tell Undyne where they were. Then she was going to find him and yell at him and he was going to have to tell her that they weren’t friends anymore. He was going to have to stand up to her again and make her upset and let everyone down. Then she would either arrest him for treason or tell him to go home and stop trying to be a hero. And it’d all be the same, and he’s have to hurt someone, or bring them to be hurt, or-

Papyrus shook his head, tapping with his boot to get himself grounded again. He couldn’t be thinking like that right now. He was the positive one right? He was the one who kept everyone happy right? So, he’d better start thinking that way. He just had to look on the bright side!

Sans had told him nothing could get through that door. Not even Undyne. And, while he didn’t fully believe that, he also refused to give up hope in those words. Alright, first problem solved.

That ghost wasn’t scared. They were more uncomfortable than anything, right? So, if he ever ran into them again, he’d just have to be less awkward and more foreword. And there we go, second problem solved.

He kept tapping, feeling his mind start to clear out again. No need to make mountains out of mole holes, right? He just needed to keep heading Eastwards and try again! Perfect! That’s what he was best at after all!

The skeleton puffed out his chest once more, confidently striding towards the hallway leading east. It was another well lit passage, which was another bright side to be had!

Clearly, things would finally start looking up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this bad boy is part 1 of a massively long chapter that I wrote and decided to decided to cut in half. That baby’s page count littlerally got to 33 before I was like “let’s split it up”. Part two (and kind of a stand alone chapter) will be out in a few days! I’ll see you all then!
> 
> Also, not to be mushy or anything: Thank you all for the lovely comments you’ve been leaving. Seriously makes my entire week (and maybe life lmao)! Also: 400 hits!! Bros!!!! I love y’all >:,)


	8. ZEMBLANITY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zemblanity - noun - The inevitable discovery of something that one does not wish to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Description of a corpse, referenced depression, and some minor self loathing. 
> 
> These next few chapters will have trigger warnings since were reaching the angst parts of the story. There will be a chapter summery at the end!

Light poured into the hallway as Papyrus broke through the dark. He was still beaming from such a successful conversation with that rock, a new hope filling him. Things were going to get better! They were already starting to look up!

In the meantime, he should keep heading East.

The room ahead was rather interesting. It was large, with a small path leading to a sight that practically forced his grin to brighten. For, the floor ahead was made nearly entirely out of magical trapdoors!

A maze, was it? Well! He was rather excellent with those! Papyrus examined the area around it, there had to be some sort of clue to the solution. There was a dirty plaque on one of the walls, next to a small solid spot. He couldn’t quite make it out from here. 

He supposed he would just have to go over there.

The skeleton squinted at his landing spot. He could just easily float over, but that would be cheating. It was at a strange angle, but he was sure he could jump it. It was only what, 6 or so feet away? Yes. That would be too easy!

He backed up as far as he could, bouncing alittle to get his blood pumping. He lined up, eyes focused on the leaves. Finally, once he was ready, he took off, feet hammering into the stone beneath him. Right at the edge of the puzzle he leaped, drawing his right leg up in front of him. Truly he was the most graceful of-

His feet collided early, taking out the floor beneath him. 

The skeleton let out a sharp gasp, grinding himself to a stop before he’d fallen too far into the pit. His head spun for a moment, soul pounding in his chest. It seemed he wasn’t entirely used to such sudden drops! Thankfully, he had only sucken up to the hips, thanks to his nifty little catch. Drat! He was only about two inches from the leaf pile. So close, yet so far.

Still, even staying up like this was rather unfair. He had missed fair and square. So, with a small sigh he folded his arms to his sides and let himself drop.

THUMP

The ground came quicker than expected, forcing out a squeak as he made contact. He landed in a half crouch, rolling into a sprawl to lighten the blow. The ground was surprisingly soft for what he could have sworn was stone. The flurry and rustle of leaves begged to differ though.

Papyrus sat up, feeling the decaying plants falling from the back of his shirt. The room he had found himself in was the same size as the one above him, but lacked the massive trap floor. Instead, the ground was coated in those scarlett leaves. Strangely enough, they seemed to be arranged in some sort of intricate pattern. 

Papyrus hopped to his feet, ignoring the ache starting up in his spinal cord. He had an inkling of an idea of where this could lead, but he wasn’t entirely sure. Luckily, there was a plaque on the wall next to him, hopefully yielding a hint. It took a few minutes to decipher the words, what with them spinning and jumbling around as they so often did. The ancient, swirly letters made things particularly challenging. Eventually though, he figured them out. 

‘Please don’t step on the leaves’

A satisfied grin spread across his teeth. As he suspected! The pattern displayed the proper path through that landmine of loose dirt. The only challenge would be to memorize the pattern.

The skeleton took a few moments, mentally following the path a few times. Admittedly, memorization of patterns was not entirely his forte. Er.. rather, memory of any kind. Names and faces had a nasty habit of switching around, and there were often times he’d felt as though he was forgetting something very important. But, he supposed that’s what kept things fun! Life wasn’t life without a good challenge every once in a while.

Right now, he just needed to focus on getting out of here.

This room held no doors, only smooth walls and the hole he’d fallen through. The only escape seemed to be a vent on the far wall, its lid swung open ever so slightly. The idea of crawling through made him cringe.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t fit. He was quite slim after all, and the vent was easily big enough. Rather, it was how tight it would be. The walls would be only centimeters from him on all sides, threatening to cave in at any moment. The idea of being trapped like that, being slowly crushed…. It was anything but pleasant.

He shuddered, deciding instead to just do this his way. Leave the vents to the froggits or vegitoids that found their way down here! 

The skeleton sighed, letting his entire body go loose. Then, he just simply turned off gravity. It was a strange weightless feeling that numbed his bones and sent a chill down his spine. A strange ability he had always harbored and never questioned, one that seemed so daunting to any monster he showed.

So naturally, he loved it!

Be it floating on top of the snow or over his puzzles, he was always looking for a chance to show off this little quirk of his. He usually never got to go this high, it surprised most monsters just a little too much. They’d ask one or three too many questions and he’d have to play dumb or lie before they dug too far. 

But there came the occasional moments, like these, where he could feel truly weightless. Where he was in a pinch and going as high as he wanted was not just welcome, but necessary. It was part of the reason he was letting himself rise rather slowly, as opposed to just shooting up. 

And yet, he still reached the surface a little sooner then he would have liked. 

The skeleton let himself be disappointed for a moment before touching down at the start of the puzzle. Oh well, he supposed since there weren’t too many monsters around here, he could try that weightless feeling again later. So long as he was alone. In the meantime, he had to get across this puzzle!

He took a careful step onto the first row of holes, heading downwards from the platform. It held, although the ground felt a lot less solid than before. From there it was a series of carefully calculated steps, interlaced with him wracking his memory for the next move.

There were only two slip ups, but both times he’d managed to get only one leg through the ground. Truely an excellent balancing act, if he did say so himself!

Finally, he made it to the other side. The skeleton tapped the solid ground with his foot, shooting a victorious glance over his shoulder. Mayhaps his memory was not as bad as he’d been so sorely convinced it was. Clearly he was an excellent puzzle-solver!

After a moment’s celebration, he moved on, heading through yet another tunnel.

He was surprised by how starkly familiar the room ahead was. Two small moats lined up with a deactivated spike trap, just as rusty and forgotten as the rest. The walls were lined with ivy and riddled with cracks, and the stone floor was dirty. Most familiar though, was the button in the middle of the room. A rock was resting upon it, idle and silent.

“Oh! Hello! I did not see you there!”

Papyrus smiled, striding over the deactivated trap. The rock didn’t respond, just sitting and staring like it was before. Once he was close enough, he bent to it’s level, eyeing it closely.

“I see you’ve solved this puzzle! Do you enjoy them as well? You seem to be astonishingly good at them!”

He smiled, motioning behind him. The rock did not respond, gazing through him instead. The skeleton shifted, feeling his smile grow more strained, they didn’t seem to be catching his words.

“My name is The Great Papyrus, by the way. What is yours?”

This time, he signed along with the words. Perhaps they were deaf. He didn’t really have lips to read anyways, which would make things ten times harder for the stone. They didn’t have ears after all… Or eyes really. 

They did not respond, leaving him with a rather awful suspicion.

“Do you mind if I… Hold one one moment-”

He gently shifted them, just a quick scoot backwards then forwards again. The rock remained silent and staring as always, allowing itself to be jostled around so easily. Gravely, he let them go, jumping to the next most logical conclusion.

It was just a normal rock.

Papyrus rose, feeling rather silly now. It was just so hard to tell who was a monster and who wasn’t sometimes. And, admittedly, he was still hoping for more friendly locals. Even if he really should be satisfied with the few friends he’d already made… 

Well, there was really no need to embarrass himself further. He bid a soft goodbye to the rock (just in case), before speed walking out of the room.

The next room down was much smaller, a simple hallway with a pit at the middle. The trap tiles covered the hole, making it into an even rectangle. There was no room to scoot by, so that was out of the question. Two vents sat at either side of the trap, suggesting a possible tunnel maze. Papyrus cringed.

Clearly jumping it was the best option.

It was about the size of his last attempt, but this time he had room to get a running start. He glided to the back of the room, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He needed to get pumped up, after all! Get his blood moving and legs ready.

The skeleton waited for just a moment, eyeing his obstacle in silent anticipation. Finally, he took a deep breath before darting forewords. It would work this time, he was sure of it. 

He waited until the last possible moment to leap, throwing his legs in front of him in a practiced motion. 

Thankfully, this time he collided with solid ground. It was followed by a few steps to level the momentum, as well as just the slightest stumble. There! That wasn’t that hard! He shouldn’t have been so worried, he was excellent after all! And well practiced! He’d jumped (albeit with the aid of floating) distances like this countless times. Undyne always-

Papyrus cut his thoughts short, smile falling into a grimace. 

He adjusted his bags hastily, deciding to move on. He didn’t want to think about how much he missed who she used to be. That beaming smile he’d hardly seen in the past year, the fire in her eyes that hadn’t ignited since Doctor Alphys ‘went on vacation’, cooking lessons, and training, and sleep overs and-

And he shook it off.

He didn’t want to think about this. So he moved to the next room instead.

Strangely, there were no puzzles here. Just a long corridor with a cracked ceiling. He could barely make out the outline of bare tree limbs creeping up from behind the walls. Distant overgrowth that he couldn’t entirely make out. A pang of nostalgia hit him as he gazed at the twisted limbs, a small smile finally returning to his face. 

He faintly remembered trees like this in his youth, but their leaves were more pink than red and bark darker. He would climb into them during hide and seek, silently sorting the glowing leaves until Sans found him. As an adult, it dawned on him that his brother purposely let him stay up there while he ‘searched’. He would’ve been stupid to not realize his little brother hid in the same place every time. Sans was anything but stupid, decpite all his japes and tomfoolery. And, admittedly, Papyrus was grateful. They both had adored those leaves.

He snapped out of the memory, shaking his head a little. 

Less impressive leaves lay scattered around the room in several piles. A few blew lazily about in the occasional breeze, but they mostly sat there looking pretty.

The skeleton forced his grin to spread, moving quickly through the room. The leaves and his… unfortunate train of thought earlier regarding her (Whom he would no longer be thinking about. No matter what reminded him of times long gone).... It all left him feeling weighed down. 

He hated feeling like that.

There were two doors ahead. Both were darkened hallways, impossible to see behind. Those were becoming quite the familiar sight today. Papyrus opted for the one to the East, he could explore the other later. In the meantime, he’d stick to the plan!

The hallway was short enough, leading out into a rather unusual room. It was truly massive, stretching out at least eighty feet ahead of him. The stone here was a little less cracked, the ceiling held a little more high. A single pillar was at his side, lonely in the open space.

The entire room held a slight royal eir, as if it were meant to be something great. Something truly gorgeous. But whomever had tried to build this place had gone before it was finished. So now it stood, waiting for it’s crown in an endless coronation.

Papyrus hastily walked through the hall, the melancholy of it starting to grip at him. There was a room similar to this in New Home, allways draped in sun and birdsong. He wondered if that’s what this place had been meant for, before it was abandoned. It was hard to imagine it as anything other than the barren place it was now, unfinished and rotting as it was.

But, that was what looking on the brightside was for!

Perhaps he could find some paints, or tools. He could turn this place into the beautiful hall it was meant to be. It just needed some love and care, right? He at least had to try!

He was nearing the end of the hall now, but he gave it’s wall a sollum pat. A silent reassurance that better days were to come.

Then it was off into the darkness again! These pitchbalck rooms had started to become marginally more comfortable. Considering nothing had jumped out at him and he wasn’t getting that prickly feeling like someone was watching him, it seemed he’d be safe enough. Yes! It was his darkness now! Unless something else lived here and said otherwise, he was going to claim one of these halls as a new thinking place!

With a sharp nod, the skeleton exited the small corridor, breaking into a new room. It got right down to business, with a large trap in the middle. A mass of spike traps were set up, stretching through the majority of the room. What wasn’t taken up by spikes was a built in moat, with two tiny docks to stand on. He was on the first, and the second was on the other side.

The gears in his head began to turn. There were two very strange things about this puzzle. Firsty, there were no buttons or switches in sight, not even XO plates! Not one way to manually deactivate the trap. Secondly, the spike trap wasn’t one massive plate. Rather, it was a bunch of tiny plates congealed together. That definitely wasn’t practical!

He shot the water a look, before dismissing that thought. That would be far too easy! Any puzzle master with half the sense he held would know to never pull a ‘just go around’! Even his brother wouldn’t stoop that low, there was no fun in it! 

Also he didn’t want to get his new pants wet. 

Yes, it seemed the only solution would be to test a theory he’d been playing around with. The skeleton hesitantly approached the puzzle, eyeing it suspiciously. The plate ahead of him had six spikes, each with a slightly too large hole around them. Yes, they were retractable.

He took in a breath before bringing his foot down on the sharpened points..

Thankfully the breath he held exited as a sigh instead of a scream. As he’d suspected, the spikes were pressure activated. The mechanics below them were probably only composed of two tubes and a spike pad instead of an actual piston. Which meant this was a maze!

He just had to feel his way around for the next release pad! This would be easy!

\-----------------

Papyrus heaved a sigh, cautiously taking another step. He was just three plates away from the end of this awful thing. Just three more calculated steps before he finally got out of this puzzle.

The past hour had been excruciating, even for him. Trial and error had taken far longer and been far more disappointing than he’d first expected. Not to mention the ‘thinking/snacks break’ he took in the middle of his path. As it turned out, it was a bit harder to keep balance while rifling through a bag for granola bars.

It had gone well the first few plates, with him moving mostly in a straight line. But then he’d hit his first bad plate. From there it was mismatched guessing and nearly spearing his feet on several occasions. There was no way to retrace his steps thanks to the spikes popping up the moment he stepped away, which made things so much harder. He’d gone back and forth on a few paths more times then he’d care to admit. 

Yet, he was sure if he just kept up hope and kept trying then he’d get to the end safe and sound. No floating to save him this time. And, as awful as it was, someone had clearly put quite a bit of time into this contraption!

And he was finally making it!

He gently tapped the plate to the East of him, feeling it give beneath his boot. A smile started to blossom on his face as he put his full weight down. Another step East worked, and then another. He was beaming by the time his feet met the wooden dock. 

There! A tremendous sense of accomplishment surged through him as he gazed back at the massive obstacle that had plagued him for so long. Now at least, he could finally progress.

With one last triumphant hmph towards the puzzled, he turned on his heel and headed through the door.

Another darkened hall followed, but he didn’t pay too much mind until he broke into the next room. It was entirely plain aside from a small plaque on the side of the wall. It was grimy, with flowy old handwriting.

He approached, taking a few minutes to try and decipher the twirly words. Letters like these made it so much harder to read, and he found himself wishing Sans were here again. He had always been a reader, or at least as long as Papyrus could remember. His oldest memories were sitting on the shorter of the two’s lap while he read them a book, even doing fun voices for the characters. It was a habit they’d had held for a long time, up until… Well until last year. When things had first gotten really bad-

Papyrus shook his head, focusing back in on the words. After a few more moments (and some trial and error) he was able to decipher what they said:

‘The western room is the eastern room’s blueprint’

Papyrus felt his smile drop for a moment. So, he’d worked for over an hour to solve the puzzle when all the explanations and hints were on this side?

He really was brilliant! His smile broadened, chest puffing out in pride. He’d done it the hard way and succeeded with flying colours! Not even bad thoughts and misplaced loneliness could damper his excellence! He truly was great, wasn’t he!

The skeleton turned sharply, marching into the next room over. It was indeed a blueprint, mapping out the path he’d taken on that old puzzle through lighter bricks on the ground. He could’ve written it himself considering how amazing he was. He really should’ve held the puzzle maker in higher regard, considering he was the one who was doing (and succeeding at it) in reverse.

Yes! Everyone was great here! 

There was no way to go East, so instead he took a door that led to the South. The darkened hallway was abit longer than the last, with a few steps leading upwards. He tutted to himself, carefully maneuvering up them. He had easily avoided them, but a monster with less excellent dark-vision would’ve tripped for sure! How irresponsible of the architect!

He broke into the light, feeling his smile drop into a slight grimace. The room was normal enough, with climbing ivy and cracks everywhere. But, his attention was entirely drawn to the small pile of stuffing and torn fabric in the corner.

It was once a training dummy, he suspected, before it had been ripped up. The wooden skeleton was exposed, barely visible under it’s fluffy down and straw innards. It looked just like Undyne’s when she got too rough.

It looked even more like what she had done to that child.

The thought made him cringe, sinking back from the dummy. He tried to not picture a spinal cord instead of wood, deep gashes in what definitely wasn’t leather, blood instead of stuffing. A spear running right through their small chest, mouth still open in a silent plea. He really tried, but the memories slipped through anyways.

At least this one could be fixed.

Yes, that’s what would make him feel better. Perhaps Sans had brought his old sewing kit, and if he didn’t Papyrus had the feeling they could find one around the house. They could fix up the training dummy, and then he wouldn’t have to think about such awful things anymore. 

Until then, he averted his eyes, hurrying through the east most door. 

He didn’t even see the spikes before he was on them. Thank god they were deactivated, or he would’ve had another thing to worry about. Ah! A puzzle! Yes, the perfect way to keep his mind off such grizzly things. Even if it was already solved for him. 

He cast a desperate look around the room, looking for switches or clockwork he could take apart in his head. It would be a far better use of his time than smelling blood that wasn’t really there! 

It was a long corridor, with two waterways carved into the floor. The water lapped at the sides of the small bridges over them, calmly flowing in and out of old vents. The walls were covered in holes and overgrown with Ivy, but he was still able to find his saving grace.

Two small switches were side by side on the wall, golden and shimmering under all their grime. Strangely, there was some curly writing marking the side of each switch, along with a few arrows. He didn’t bother to try and make out the words, they would give him a migraine with how faded and twirly they were. The arrows were clear enough anyways.

Even if it was rather amature to point out the solution like this, he appreciated it! Now, he had the perfect idea of the trap. The switch would deactivate the pistons under the spikes, lowering them for a short time before they rose again. There was probably a series of connectors beneath his feet right now, powering the rudimentary device.

There. He felt much better now. He just had to keep ignoring this.  
The smile on his face softened as he made his way through the   
room. A hallway lay to the South, bathed in darkness. But he was more interested in the tunnel heading East, far off the beaten path. The lightened stone didn’t even lead it’s way! He truly felt like an adventurer now! Even with all these unfortunate thoughts-

He froze.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched something flash. A familiar yellow and white blur, the glimmer of shiny black eyes and white teeth disappearing into the darkness of the southern corridor. The face of a friend he hadn’t seen in far too long.

Papyrus bolted.

He tore through the corridor, praying his legs could carry him fast enough. The inky blackness opened through a sliding door, propped open long ago. He briefly caught a look at some buttons to his right, but paid them no mind.

He headed straight, pleading that he was heading in the right direction. Another tube of darkness consumed him, before opening out into a huge room.

A drop lay ahead of him, with stairs to either side. The skeleton chose to ignore both, throwing himself off the cliff. Magic buzzed through him, that weightless feeling reverberating through his body. A quick few pumps of the legs slowed his descent enough so that he wouldn’t be hurt.

He hit the ground running, scarlett leaves exploding around his form. There was another flash of yellow and green in the hallway ahead of him, so he headed in that direction.

It was the darkest space yet, entirely bathed in the inky black. A huge arch briefly passed overhead, marked with that familiar crest. He felt an odd sense of dread running into this all, but he pushed it down. The only sound were his footsteps hammering into the ground as the darkness overtook him. 

He almost slowed, stumbling into a small patch of light. It was like a spotlight in the blackened room, some sunlight peeking through the cave ceiling. Wait. Sunlight-

Something yellow caught his eye, disappearing through a faint archway. Even he could barely make out the structure in the all consuming darkness, but he managed well enough. It was a replica of the door behind him, but far more grey and cracked.

He ignored the unease and ran through, forgetting all his old rules about walking through mysterious grey doors. It didn’t count if he was running to find a friend right? 

The other side was ever so slightly brighter, with the highest ceiling he’d ever seen. The ground beneath him had switched from cracked stone to cool dirt, then to golden flowers beneath his hammering steps. They were huge, rising well above his ankles and making it impossible to see the ground. Golden flowers. Did that-

A sharp pain reverberated through his skull, accompanied by a hollow thunk. 

His back hit the ground, earning a soft squeak. Something wooden clattered to his side, landing on his shoulder with a painful thunk. The fall caused an explosion of petals, blinding him in a shower of gold and amber. 

Papyrus furrowed his brows, shooting whatever had knocked into him a sharp look. The sight of it made his face fall, an embarrassed groan pushing through his teeth. 

So that’s where that rake went.

He sat up, rubbing his forehead. He was laying in that gorgeous sea of golden flowers, their petals illuminated by another hole in the ceiling. 

Golden flowers. Golden petals with white centers and lovely green stems. The image was all too familiar. A quick glance around dampened his eagerness in one fell swoop. 

It seemed his eyes had played another horrid trick on him. 

There was no prickly feeling he got while being watched. There was no high, airy voice that somehow always snuck up on him. No weirdly sinister smiles or blankly fascinated eyes. He’d probably just seen the kin of the very patch he was sitting in. Flowers had a tendency to spread like that. 

The skeleton pulled his knees to his chest, a dejected huff pushing through his teeth. This was his least favorite feeling. The one that he knew too well, that had persisted no matter his efforts to shake it. That familiar longing, so strong that it made his chest hurt and jaw tighten. He supposed one could describe it as a deep seeded loneliness. But he really tried to avoid using that word.

It implied that he didn’t have any friends! That no one would want to be friendly, or talk to him. But that wasn’t true! Even if his supply of friends had run dry as of late, and no one here wanted to talk to him, and Sans barely did anything anymore. Even if everything around him was falling apart and he just wanted someone to hug him and tell him it was alright. Even if that wasn’t really possible right now. 

He lightly tapped his forehead to his knees, holding himself tighter. Sulking wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He had to find a brightside. That’s all. Just get up and keep going. 

Even if it was getting harder and harder to do that.

He looked over, eyeing the rake. He’d found it, even if it was in a very embarrassing manner. Now it would be easier to get Sans to help him in the garden, considering he could use a tool instead of magic! Looking around him, he noticed how pretty the flowers were. They practically glowed in the limited light, seemingly unaffected by the all consuming darkness around them. It was rather comforting to gaze at. He and his brother really were lucky to have found such a beautiful place to live. See, another brightside!

He was admiring the golden petals when something caught his eye. It was a shiny green cylinder, etched with holes and scratches. The cylinder connected to a slim metal tube, barely visible in the darkness surrounding the flowerbed. He cocked his head, scooting through the flowers to make a grab at the strange thing.

Papyrus yanked it free from whatever vines and ivy that were holding it down, eyes widening as he realized what he was holding. A beat up old watering can! The green paint was chipped, and it had more than a few dents, but overall it would be perfect for his garden! He adored fixer uppers!

Taking the rake in one hand and the watering can in the other, he finally found the strength to haul himself up. There. He wanted to explore this lovely room abit more before returning to his quest. 

The room was truly massive, bigger than any he’d ever seen. It was pitch black, aside from those glowing flowers and anything highlighted by the light pouring through a snaggled crack in the ceiling. He could faintly make out the bases of crumbling pillars next to the mouth of the hole, but it was difficult to properly see.

The skeleton approached the light pocket, suddenly intrigued by this hole. There were a few cracks back in Snowden, but he had never seen one as big as this. He placed a foot into the ring, careful to not trample the flowers. A few more steps and he was entirely encompassed in the light. It felt so strange, feeling the warmth of the mysterious illumination on his bones. He shot a look upwards-

He nearly dropped the watering can.

In every book he’d ever read, Papyrus had heard it said that the sky was blue. He’d heard it could change of course, of fluffy white clouds turning to intimidating charcoal omens, of scarlet skies and inky night. But none of it compared to the colours he could see through that massive hole. 

A magnificent sapphire greeted him, more vibrant than anything he had ever seen. The clouds swirled, massive and a brilliant white. The gold of the sun framed their fluffy forms, illuminating their edges so brightly that it hurt his sockets. Most of it was cut off by the roof of a higher cave, but he didn’t care. Even this small piece of sky was so much more than he had ever hoped it would be.

The skeleton felt himself start to tear up, a smile broadening on his face. The closest he’d ever been was the barrier room. If one stood far enough away, they could barely see the blurred out version of the world beyond. The closer you got, the harder it was to see through the impassible magic. But this? He was far enough below to see with perfect clarity, in a room big enough to comfortably watch.. 

And it truly was magnificent! One could only imagine what it would be like up there! Out in the fresh air, and the light, and the wind that had to be strong enough to carry those clouds! Oh, how long he could stay here and watch it. See the sun rise and set, watch as the stars twinkled to life and the moon showed its face. He could count them all, finally stargaze for-

Oh my god. He had to tell Sans!

He was almost certain the shorter of the two had brought his mini-telescope! He’d been so happy when they found it in the dump, apparently it was the kind ancient scientists used to map the sky. Papyrus felt his grin grow. Yes! Not only would they finally get to star gaze for real, but he might be able to drag Sans out of his slump! 

He shot that glorious sky one last grin before turning on his heel and taking off.

Though he didn’t want to, Papyrus had to confess this was probably the best he’d felt in a long time. The past year had managed to drag even him down, far more than he’d ever care to admit. But, despite the bumps in the road, things seemed to finally be looking up. Maybe, they could finally start to get better.

For real this time.

\--------------------------

Papyrus rounded the last corner. He’d followed the path to the house easily enough, moving at full tilt nearly the entire time. The puzzles had been a small obstacle, but he floated over most. As excellent of craftsmanship as most of them were, he had no time right now!

The goofy smile that had found itself on his face only brightened as he tore through the garden. His neat piles were disturbed by the gust of wind that followed him, but he didn’t mind all that much. Far more important matters were at hand.  
He barely paused for the rake and watering can, haphazardly throwing them at the old tree. They had proved to be rather difficult to lug around, and he was glad to be rid of them. It was easier to kick open the door that way!

He swiftly did so, kicking it with everything in him…. Only for his foot to bounce off uselessly. He caught himself before he toppled over, smile never faltering. Ah! Silly him. Pull, not push. He followed through, practically ripping it from it’s hinges in his enthusiasm.

“Sans!!! I have returned!” 

He cawed, slamming the door behind him. Silence was the only response, though that really wasn’t all that too uncommon these days. He hastily made his way to the living room, not letting that awful stairwell dampen his mood.

“Brother, I have the most amazing-”

He paused in the door frame, smile faltering. The chair was empty, aside from its usual mess of blankets and wrappers. Now that, that was strange. He shot the table a look, hoping that Sans had just fallen asleep there. No, the only things resting on the tabletop were the rock and an empty tupperware container.

It hadn’t been there when he’d left, which meant Sans was moving around unprompted! Though, they still needed to discuss the issue of putting dishes in the sink, Papyrus beamed. That was better than yesterday, which was a sure improvement. He headed for the kitchen, hoping to congratulate his brother.

The dread started to creep in when he found it empty. The silverware drawer had been left open, but other than that it was completely unchanged. Papyrus tried to not let it drag him down as he headed for the living room. If he wasn’t in the kitchen or living room, maybe Sans was taking a shower? That counted as taking care of himself! Another thing to compliment him on! There was absolutely no need to worry.

He headed for the bathroom, casting a grave look to the staircase as he passed. It felt even more off than usual, a deep seeded dread that was strong enough to persist after one had taken a good look at it. He was still glaring at the foreboding banister when he stepped on something slippery. It wasn’t hard like the wooden floor, rather soft and slick underneath his boot. Looking down, he felt his soul skip a beat.

A discarded t-shirt and trousers laid underboot, crumpled and twisted up sadly. A hurried check revealed no dust along with them, sending shocks of relief through him. Papyrus bent down, examining the pile. He never thought he’d be grateful to see dirty laundry, but he supposed there was a first for everything. At the very least, it was a sign that his brother was moving about and possibly up to his old habits. He’d take mess and bad jokes over completely still any day.

Even if a distinct feeling of trepidation had rooted itself in his chest.

He continued, fiddling with his bandana as he walked. The bathroom was at the end of the yellow hall, behind a dainty white door. It, strangely enough, didn’t have the same air of elegance the rest of the household held. Rather, it felt more at home in their old house, what with it’s dingy old shower and tiny sink. It always smelled slightly off, even when it was freshly cleaned. Still, it was nice enough, and they’d seen worse.

He approached the door, giving it a cautious knock. He didn’t hear the shower going, but perhaps Sans hadn’t gotten in yet? The hypotheticals did little to quell his worry. Something just felt… off.

“Brother, are you in there?”

Papyrus called, wrapping his knuckles once again on the door. Silence was his only response, tightening his chest more. There was always the possibility Sans had fallen asleep in the shower. It wouldn’t have been his first time pulling such a stunt, nor the strangest place he’d somehow managed to take a nap. That didn’t make much sense, without the shower going. But, he supposed the shorter of the two could’ve been done before he even started.

He sighed, knocking one more time before he did anything brash. It was an old system they’d made up as kids that stuck around. They’d stay out of each other's spaces unless let in or, in times of desperate need, they knocked three separate times. It gave whoever was behind the door enough time to reason, come out, or try to hide whatever they were so adamant about keeping secret.

He paused one moment, just in case, before trying the knob. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. 

Papyrus pushed open the door, peeking his head through cautiously. The lights were off, as well as the shower. No sign that his brother had even been in here was present, not even a misplaced towel or discarded shirt.

Papyrus shut the door, biting down the panic starting to rise in his chest. Maybe the shorter skeleton had finally taken his advice and napped in a bed? Maybe he was finally trying to do something productive, like unpack or set up his room? He was running out of options, and the house had started to feel very quiet.

The skeleton entered his own room, giving it a sharp look. No Sans. He moved to the bed, double checking underneath it. There wasn’t enough room to squeeze in, so that was out of the question. A pulmonary check of the wardrobe was done, to be on the safe side, but it revealed nothing as well. He was even sure to check between the clothes and behind those old stuffed animals, anywhere that looked warm and soft enough for his brother to nap in.

Once again, nothing.

Papyrus left, letting the door click closed behind him. Worry was starting to claw at his soul. This didn’t make any sense! Sans had barely moved in the past three days, so to pull a disappearing act like this was nearly out of the question. Sure he was aloof, he always had been. Back when things were good he would oftentimes disappear for a day or two on a whim, only returning for dinner before going off again. Or sneaking off from his station to do god knows what. But that kind of behavior had stopped when everything started to get bad! Not to mention there was literally nowhere to go.

He cast a look to the blue room, fiddling with his scarf. It didn’t make much sense for Sans to go in there, right? He had been rather upset the last time they’d gone in there. And, Papyrus was starting to have the sneaking suspicion that’s where he’d gotten that old book.

Still it was worth a shot, and the sooner he found Sans the better.

He pushed open the door quietly, trying to quell his steadily increasing breaths. The room was just as solemn as he remembered, urging anyone who stepped inside to remain as still and as silent as itself. The lights were out here too, with only the steady stream from the door to illuminate it’s interior. He pushed through, still trying to hold his breath. 

He could tear apart this one too, search every dark, warm space for his brother. But, it still felt far too disrespectful. That, and the room was practically unchanged from when he’d seen it last. Aside from a few small places the covers on the bed had been disturbed and a few things on the desk being moved about.

Papyrus hurried out as silently as he came, shutting the door softly behind him. There was one more room. One more place he could be. 

The skeleton approached the once ‘under renovations’ room. There were still small marks on it’s door from where he’d kicked it in on their first day here. All of his hopes were riding on this room. He was sure his brother would be on the other side, sleeping on the ground where a bed had once been. Or so absorbed in one of his books that he hadn’t noticed his brother was looking for him. Maybe even humming some unknown melody while he unpacked, just like when they moved in at Snowden.

Papyrus pulled open the door, feeling his frown deepen.

None of that greeted him. Just an empty room with scorched walls and a burned floor. It was apparent his brother wasn’t here. The room was empty enough as it was, only a charred old desk, a chair, and a wardrobe were even worth keeping. All the broken and burned picture frames and disintegrating trinkets had been destroyed in whatever fire had claimed this place. They’d cleaned it up as best they could, and he was still working on a way to cover all the scorches, but Sans was satisfied enough. 

He never used it anyways. 

Papyrus checked the wardrobe to be safe. It was remarkably unharmed on the inside, aside from the splits in the woods from the heat. But, that wasn’t what he cared about. All he was focusing on was the fact that it was completely empty. There was no sign Sans had even made an attempt to come in here.

So where was he?

Papyrus slumped against the blackened wood, sliding down it with a pitiful huff. A deep, aching worry had started to seize him, forcing air into his lungs in order to quell his heart rate. This didn’t make any sense. None of it made any sense. Why would Sans up and vanish when he’d shown no interest in even leaving his chair? It seemed remarkably unfair for this to be going down precisely when they finally got some good news.

Ugh! Why was this so frustrating?

He just wanted to share one good thing with his brother! Was that really so much to ask? They’d been through so much in the past few months, and while Papyrus could admit he hadn’t made the wisest choices in trying to keep his brother happy, he genuinely believed they deserved to admire this new place together. Maybe Sans was hiding. Maybe he’d finally fallen so far into reculusive habits that he was ignoring his own brother. Maybe his previous silence was a sign that he’d finally gotten tired of the constant nagging and puzzles and hijinks and-

Papyrus yanked down violently on his bandana, shaking his head. Getting himself all worked up was not going to help anybody. His brother would never grow tired of someone as amazing as himself! He was brilliant, and thoughtful, and a wonderful chef, and… and great!

And he could do this.

Someone had to keep Sans happy and safe. And that someone was him! And, since he hadn’t been doing the best job at that lately, he was going to make up for it now! The shorter of the two was probably off getting himself into trouble, and would need to be galiently rescued as usual. 

To solve this mystery, he was going to have to go back to the last place he’d seen his brother. And that was that old chair. He hopped to his feet, a new air of confidence fueling his actions.

The door practically flew open on it’s own, slamming shut behind him as he walked. The yellow hallway didn’t shine quite as bright as he remembered, most likely dampened by the ebbing worry still radiating through his body. He’d worry about it later, he had a brother to find.

His confident stride was only broken when he entered the stairwell room. He was just going through an itemized list of everywhere he’d searched in his head when the foreboding structure caught his eye. An idea pressed it’s way to the front of his mind. A terrible thought, one that made his soul drop and hands twitch.

He numbly took a step towards the stairs.

It was the only place he hadn’t checked. It was the place his only evidence that was laying in front of. It was the place where someone could just disappear into.

He was at the edge of the banister now, staring down into the darkness. It wasn’t the comfortable kind that he was atoned to, the homely shadows that made the world feel a little easier. No, this darkness was cold and foreboding, as if it were hiding someone with too wide a grin and too smooth a voice. The kind of darkness you could get lost in, that ate you up. 

He shuddered, trying to fathom why his brother would ever choose to go down there.

Papyrus felt the unease starting to overpower him again. There was a chance his brother was down there, a chance that everything could be alright again. A chance that they could stargaze and be ok and get better.

He had to take it.

With one last inhale, the skeleton pulled himself up onto the banister. In the same fluid motion, he pushed himself off, releasing the railing once his hips passed it. He floated down harmlessly, face twisted into one of certainty.

The corridor ahead was long and ungodly silent, an ancient maw ready to swallow anyone who dared enter. It stretched for about eighty feet before turning sharply to the right, an observation that sent unease rippling through his body.

Nethertheless, he continued on at a quick pace. How strange it was, that the exact same stone as earlier could set off so many alarm bells now. Perhaps it was the circular structure of the hall. Maybe it was the extra dirt and grime, or the deepened cracks running down the stone. Possibly even the fact that it was steadily getting darker. Either way, he was left with the prickly feeling of being watched. How funny, he was sure by now he would be used to-

The skeleton froze, feeling a chill run down his spine.

There was a sound up ahead. It was soft, barely audible in the stillness. It was the slightest of shuffles, something scraping ever so slightly against the ground. He would’ve dismissed it as his imagination if not for one thing:

He’d finally figured out what was so wrong about this place.

Now that he was listening, he picked up on a steadily strengthening sound. Haggard, wheezing breaths were coming from somewhere beyond that corner, intermixed with what could only be described as a strangled whimper. He honestly couldn’t tell if it was someone hyperventilating, crying, or laughing. Whatever it was, it left him prickling with anticipation.

“Sans?”

He called into the darkness, eyes catching as he took a step backwards. He couldn’t tell what scared him more, if that was his brother or if it wasn’t. 

He was met with more labored breathing, this time far softer. Whoever was making such horrid noises seemed to be trying to supress the breaths, only making them worse. They continued on like this for a few more moments, before the sorry attempt to stay silent was broken by a poorly suppressed sob.  
Papyrus felt his soul drop.

He recognized that noise. He knew those breathing patterns too well. They were the very noises that forced their way from his brother after a particularly bad nightmare. The same sounds that happened earlier this year, streaming from Sans’s room when he thought Papyrus was out. They didn’t happen often, but when they did....

Papyrus took off, footsteps a concofiny of echoes around him. His soul was beating out of his chest now. Was Sans hurt? What had happened? Was there someone else with him? A cave in perhaps? Those other monsters the rock had spoken about? Each question interrupted the last, until they were all just a tangled, echoing mess in his skull.

The skeleton skidded around the corner, praying he was wrong.

The sight ahead forced his soul even further into his throat. His brother had been reduced to a crumpled, shaking mess on the ground. His legs were tucked beneath him in a crouch, only supported by a trembling arm. The other was tightly clasped over his teeth, clearly trying to suppress the raspy breaths clawing their way from his form.

“Sans!”

Papyrus choked out, rushing to his brother’s side. He was on the ground before he even realized it, pulling the smaller skeleton into a tight hug. Sans tensed against him, starting to push away before sinking into his chest. Tremors wracked his shoulders as he gripped on, silent aside from those awful breaths.

“Sans, oh dear- What happened-”

The words caught in Papyrus’s throat as he finally tore his eyes from his brother. His soul sank, eyes widening as he took in the sight. His soul started to beat faster, gripping onto his brother tighter.

The scent of dust filled his nasal cavity as a scream tore from his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out. A mix of my own apathy, a minor case of sleep deprivation, and the holidays made it really hard to work. Not trying to make excuses, just a lil explanation! Thank you all for reading and sticking through all the angst! I promise it won’t all be doom and gloom from here ;)
> 
> Next chapter will be out in 2 weeks. I need time for ✨character dialoge✨
> 
> Summery  
> —————-
> 
> Papyrus explores the ruins, solving puzzles and having a grand time. There is a little more exploration into his floating abilities and other magical quirks. Mostly though, it’s just fanciful room descriptions of the ruins. 
> 
> He solves puzzles in strange ways, jumping over several cracked tiles, maticiously moving through the giant spike puzzle one by one, etc.
> 
> Once at the end of the room map, Papyrus is about to head on when he spots a familiar golden flower. He chases the apperition, inevitably ending up in the flower room
> 
> After running face first into a rake, Papyrus finds himself alone, downtrodden, and very lonely. It appears that flower may have just been a trick of the light, or a stray golden flower. 
> 
> To cheer himself up, our bones hero takes a look at the crack in the ceiling. Behold! The most buetiful sky he has ever seen! He treasures the moment, taking in every bit of the sky he can. 
> 
> Then, he runs to tell his brother about this new discovery. 
> 
> Once home, Papyrus discovers the house is empty. He panics, searching every room in the house. When that yields no results, he works himself up enough to collapse against a wardrobe. 
> 
> After a moment of self reflection and pep talking, Papyrus continues on his quest to find his brother. 
> 
> Out of desperation, he heads for the basement. It makes him uneasy and on edge, but the sound of someone rasping for air is enough to keep him going. 
> 
> The moment he realizes who’s at the end of that corrider he runs to Sans, collapsing at his side. The two share a hug, with Sans silently sobbing into Pap’s shoulder. 
> 
> It is only then that Papyrus notices Toriel’s dust. He screams, and that’s were the chapter cuts
> 
> ———-
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I never thought I’d get to 500 hits! This is amazing! I love you all, goodnight!


	9. MIZPAH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mizpah - noun - A deep emotional connection that has been severed by death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! This chapter was soooo much longer than expected, so it took a wee bit longer than I was hoping. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: 
> 
> Heavy emotional trauma, some hard core body descriptions, and some pretty extensive discussion of burials/grieving
> 
> Chapter summery at the end.

Oh my god. 

That was the only thought Papyrus could muster. 

A large pile of dust lay before them, seeping from the torn remains of what had once been a dress. The powdery substance had stained it’s violet fabrics, congulating in small streaks across its surface. 

Papyrus found himself desperately kicking back, trying to put some distance between himself and those horrid remains. He could only make it a few feet thanks to the limp skeleton still clinging to his shirt. The screams clawing out of him had ceased, replaced by sharp, quickened breaths. He gripped onto Sans tighter, fingers digging in between his ribs. 

The taller skeleton felt like the world was collapsing around him. Panic was rushing through his body, cancelling out all rational thought. He had never even seen dust before. Even in the aftermath of the human’s arrival, Snowden had few casualties, and those had been found early by the remaining guard. Everything about these remains was all consuming. The sight, the helplessness, the adrenaline…. the smell. 

Despair. 

That’s the best word he could find to describe the unfamiliar scent of monster’s dust. 

The sweet smell of decay mixed with the nutty scent of warm earth. He even thought he could pick out a little bit of pollen in the awful mix. It filled his nasal cavity, daring him to retch or run, anything but just sit here. 

But he couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t do anything but try and process what was happening, tightly gripping onto his brother. 

Sans wasn’t doing much better. The smaller skeleton had burrowed his skull into Papyrus’s shoulder, arms weakly wrapped around his shoulder blades. Small whimper-like cries tore from his brother’s throat, despite every attempt to stop them. 

Papyrus held him closer, letting out a soft shushing noise. It was the very way Sans had comforted him when they were children, along with gentle back rubs. He replicated the action, giving his brother a few soft pats on the back. It was a welcome distraction from that awful dust. 

He cringed, forcing his eyes to remain locked on his brother. 

Sans was taking well to the gentle rubs and reassurances, melting further into the hug. He was completely limp now, all aside from his hands. Papyrus could still feel them digging into his shoulder blades, bunching up the back of his shirt. The sharp pin prick of claws stung into his back every once in a while, but he didn’t attempt to move them. 

If Sans’s claws were out…. He was worse off than previously thought. 

None of this made sense! Papyrus could not fathom who this dust belonged to, let alone how they had gotten into the house. Maybe it had happened when he was out? Had they come from the upstairs or through that awfully familiar door? Had they been hurt? Dying? They must’ve been! Monsters didn’t just dust at random. Unless Sans killed-

He stopped that thought in its tracks, cringing at even the suggestion of such a thing. 

There was no way his brother would be able to kill someone. He was too passive, too gentle. He’d probably try to talk or teleport his way out of any dangerous situation! He’d never go to this extreme!

Right?

Papyrus adjusted himself, twisting to be able to hold his brother up easier. Sans felt so frail in his arms, just a shaking, terrified mess. A far cry from his usual calm and collected self. He had always been the put together one. The one who could keep a smile on his face and ease in his voice no matter what. Nothing ever scared Sans. 

Papyrus felt another stab of concern pierce his soul. Sans’ behavior did line up a little too well with a reasonable response to taking a life. But, he still tried to suppress that idea. This could line up just as well with someone who’d been unfortunate enough to witness a tragedy. 

Sans was innocent until proven guilty. And until then, Papyrus was going to refute any possibility his brother had hurt someone! He folded a hand protectively over the top of the shorter skeleton’s skull, giving it a few soft pats. 

He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, completely silent aside from soft whimpers and hushes. Thankfully, Sans’s cries soon gave way to steady breathing, hands relaxing ever so slightly. Papyrus was sure he’d fallen asleep when Sans pushed up suddenly. 

The shorter skeleton untangled himself from his brother, rocking back onto his knees. He scrubbed at his face, wiping off any remients of tears. His eye lights were sternly trained on the ground. They were dimmer than Papyrus had ever seen, barely even glowing. 

“‘m sorry.”

Papyrus felt his soul sink, shoulders replicating the motion. He knew this all too well. Sans would start blaming himself for feeling bad, then would try to slink off somewhere, then ignore Papyrus’s protests, then end up in an even worse slump. It was a song and dance they both had been repeating for far too long. 

“Sans… You don’t have to apologize for this”

He tried anyways, attempting to put a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder. Sans flinched away, eyes remaining locked on the ground. His only response was a half hearted shrug. 

“Are you ok?”

The words tumbled out of Papyrus’s mouth before he had a chance to stop them. It was a stupid question really, of course the awnser was ‘no’. None of this was ok, and he doubted it would be for quite awhile. 

“‘m fine-“

Sans forced out, voice clearly strained. It broke towards the end, barely able to squeak out the ‘ine’. He was much tenser now, fists clenching around the hem of his sweater. 

Papyrus internally cringed, pushing his own eyes to the ground. He was making this far worse. But he had no idea what to say! He’d been there to help families around Snowden in the wake of last year, but the wounds were never this fresh. And he knew what he was dealing with then. 

It wasn’t a very good excuse, but he clung to it. 

He was supposed to be there for his brother. He was all the other had anymore. He was the only thing that was going to get Sans onto his feet again. He should know how to help. 

He had to know how to help. 

The taller skeleton looked away from the brick. They’d been sitting in for silence a long time now, longer than he would’ve liked. He knew that bad thoughts thrived in the hush, ones that his brother was almost certainly suffering from. 

It was no use to sit around feeling sorry for himself. Papyrus elected that if he was going to properly help his brother, he was going to need to know what was happening first.

Sans was probably already replaying the events in his head. It was best if they do this now, rather than let it weigh on the stout skeleton. The clawing dread of whatever horrible event this was, keeping others in the dark, letting it bubble up inside…. Papyrus was certain it would destroy his brother. 

“Sans, what’s going on?”

The taller skeleton asked softly, unable to stop the desperation creeping into his words. He tried to scoot closer, slowly and carefully. 

Sans didn’t react, shoulders sagged despite his rigid hands. He remained completely silent, aside from the occasional hitching in his breaths. 

Papyrus waited, eyeing him anxiously. There wasn’t even a shrug, or a diversion, or anything. Just stark, all consuming silence. He shifted uncomfortably, giving his brother an entire moment before speaking up again. 

“I suppose you don’t have to tell me, but you are going through something really awful right now! Perhaps talking about it will make you feel better?”

He offered again, scooting closer. Sans remained silent, eye lights still stubbornly fixed on the stone. A storm was building behind those grey orbs, complex thoughts and feelings that Papyrus couldn’t even begin to decipher. 

“... And if I know what’s happening, then I can help! I know it doesn’t really feel like anything can help right now, but I promise to do my best!”

He took less time to try again. It was clear his brother wasn’t going to respond after just a few moments. Sans’ hands were shaking now, and Papyrus was sure that if they had skin his knuckles would be white. 

The taller skeleton hesitated. Something was boiling inside of his brother, an awful something that had been suppressed for a long time. Papyrus wondered if he was making the situation worse, but quickly dismissed it. Sans just needed to tell him what was going on, then they could work this out together. 

“Brother, I’m here for you! No matter what is going on, I want you to know that I am not the least bit upset with you!” He pleaded, starting to worry that his brother wasn’t talking for a very different reason. “Even if… Even if someone bad got in and you had to do something… rather unfortunate-“

“stop.”

Sans growled, voice somehow managing to slice into the words despite it’s hushedness. The shorter skeleton had finally ripped his eyelights from the ground, glaring into Papyrus’s. That awful something had finally bubbled over, flashing as a brief moment of intense anger in his eyes. 

It quickly dissipated into a wince, shoulders slumping as he curled in on himself. A mournful look crossed his face, brow bones furrowing ever so slightly. His smile was stretched too far, like it always was when he was uncomfortable. 

“‘m sorry… that was….” A soft sigh through the teeth as Sans closed his eyes. “i found ‘er.”

Papyrus released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. A secret relief had left him, as bad as this was he wasn’t going to have to rethink his morals.

It was a rather selfish thought, and he silently chided himself for the notion. 

The lanky skeleton scooted closer, patiently waiting for his brother to continue. He offered a hand on the shoulder, but Sans shrugged away from it again. Papyrus gave him his space, not wanting to make the poor man even more uncomfortable. 

Her. 

Sans had to have been here when this monster dusted. How else would he know anything about her? The thought made Papyrus’s soul twist, a borderline physical ache spreading through his chest. 

No one deserved to see that. 

No one deserved to see the life drained eyes of a corpse. Watch the aftermath of a brutal and useless attack. Watch as the world became a little dimmer, life a little duller, the universe a little emptier. See as the blood pooled around their little fingers, matting their hair and-

He winced, trying to focus back on the current situation. 

Sans remained silent, tugging his knees to the chest. The occasional sniffle found its way through his rhythmic breaths, wracking his steadily calming demeanor. His eyes had gone dead again, all signs of stormy thoughts having dissipated with the anger. 

“I’m… I’m so sorry Sans.”

Papyrus started, wanting nothing more than to scoop him away from everything. To pull him away from it all, drag him into the flower room to see the clouds and the sky and eventually the stars. But, Papyrus severely doubted that would help with anything now. 

“Did you know her?”

The words slipped out again, a sad attempt to quell the silence around them. It was the next logical question, but Papyrus regretted it the moment it came out, watching his brother wince. 

“well. very, very well.”

Sans choked out, voice barely above a whisper now. He pulled his knees closer to his chest, resting his chin on them. It was an almost relaxed pose, if not for how tense his hands were and the tears starting to spill out his sockets. 

A stab of guilt ran through Papyrus, sharp enough to put a grimace on his face. He had no idea what to do. If he talked, Sans got hurt. If he was silent, Sans got hurt. If he did anything, Sans got hurt. If he did nothing, Sans got hurt. 

As much as he hated it, Papyrus suspected that no matter what choices he made, his brother was going to be hurting for a very long time. 

The taller skeleton decided it’d be best to keep his big mouth shut. 

At the very least, he could try and get a game plan together. As tough as this was, they were going to need to get out of the basement eventually. He wasn’t even entirely sure how long they’d been sat down here. Let alone how long Sans had been down here ahead of time. 

Papyrus shot the shorter skeleton a look. He’d grown hollow again, not even attempting to hide the tears starting to roll down his face. His eye lights were unfocused, even dimmer than before. 

The taller skeleton felt his nonexistent stomach knot. The thought that Sans could’ve been down here for hours like this was the opposite of appealing. 

And then there was the matter of the dust….

Papyrus tried to keep his eyes off of it, but that didn’t change the fact that it…. she was just lying next to them. They couldn’t just leave her there! It was incredibly disrespectful, borderline cruel. 

But where would they put her? He had no idea what she liked, and it seemed rather futile to try and ask Sans about it right now. They’d have to have the discussion soon, but not down here. Not with her all over the ground like this. 

Perhaps things would be abit better once they got upstairs. This hallway was dingy and dark and set off all the wrong feelings. If they left, he might just be able to get Sans to be even a little bit comfortable. 

First thing was first, they needed to clean her dust off the ground. Who knew how long she’d just been lying there, mixing with with normal grime of the stone. They had some containers in the kitchen that could work as a temporary holding place….

“Sans, is it alright if I go upstairs? I’ll be right back!”

He asked as gently as he could, laying a hand on his brother’s foot. He knew the shorter skeleton wasn’t really in the mood to be touched, but Papyrus worried that he may not notice otherwise. 

“ok.”

It was more of a response than Papyrus was expecting, which should’ve made him feel better. Instead he just felt a cold sting of worry fill him. He couldn’t place why, but something about his brother’s voice was just a little too hollow, too emotionless. Stronger than it’d been before, but utterly lifeless. 

He’d dwell on it later, for now there were things to be done. Sitting and mourning wouldn’t make anything easier. 

So Papyrus forced himself up, admittedly using gravity magic to aid in the matter. He almost offered Sans a hand, but thought better of it. He was so tightly curled up that it would be futile to untangle him for something as brief as grabbing supplies. 

He’d been down here alone for long enough as it was. 

Papyrus shook off the thought, turning sharply on his heels. He kept up a fast pace, not liking the idea of leaving Sans for too long. He doubted the shorter skeleton would move around but….

He walked faster, turning the sharp corner. The hallway felt longer than last time, though he supposed that was because he wasn’t running. The prickly feeling of being watched was stinging at his back. He tried to ignore it. 

It was almost certainly from the amount of emotions that were rushing through his system, right? The world was still spinning, but this time he had control. So long as he just moved from one task to another he could keep a straight head for his brother. 

He could process the nauseating feeling of being thrown into finding another corpse later. He could process the fact that everything was going bad again later. He had to think about how this was possibly someone he’d known as well later. 

He had to for Sans. 

The first step nearly caught Papyrus’s boot, forcing him out of his thoughts. He paused, before hurrying up the staircase. One step at a time, in a literal sense this time. 

First on his task list was the kitchen, so that’s where he headed. 

It was almost amazing how little the house had changed despite such a grim discovery. It was still cozy and warm, filled with mismatched items still trying to find their place. It had just started to become their own. 

He tried to shake the bitter thoughts, hurrying into the kitchen. They had cups in the cabinet, but they might’ve been too small. There were bowls, but that presented the devastating possibility of spilling the remains. A plate held the same issue, so he quickly marked it off as well. 

He was still going through his options as he rifled through the cabinets. The tall one above the stove finally yielded a good option. Three large jars lay ahead of him, just recently cleared of those awful rotted snails. He’d personally washed them each 28 times to get rid of the smell!

He snatched one out, giving it a precautionary whiff. It just smelled like glass now, so he supposed it would be a good enough temporary resting place. Better than the floor at least. 

He popped the lid back on, placing it on the table with a soft clink. He swooped down to the lower cabinets, fishing out an old dustpan and brush. They were an old, beaten up red colour, marked with scratches and chips in the paint. A few grooves had made their way into the wooden handle, most likely from the previous handler’s claws. 

The lanky skeleton frowned. 

They weren’t fancy, or really even nice. The pan was already quite abit dirty, stained from messes past. If it were someone he knew ‘very, very well’ down there on the ground, he would’ve liked something a bit nicer. 

Although, he supposed he didn’t really have a choice. 

He started to run the sink, deciding to at least wash out the dust pan before having to use it. This mystery person deserved the best he could provide, especially if they were so close to Sans. 

And possibly himself. 

It honestly made his soul squirm to have to wonder about who was down there. He supposed it could be someone from Snowden, possibly one of their neighbors. Though, as popular as Sans was, Papyrus knew he wasn’t actually all that close to anyone in town. Especially after he’d started to shut himself in. Well…. everyone but-

There was a horrible second where he wondered if Grilby was down there.

Luckily, that didn’t make too much sense. The dust was white and powdery, not the grey and black ash that flame monsters dissolved into. Plus, Grilby went by male pronouns, and whomever was down there didn’t. Perhaps she was one of Sans’s barmates? No, he’d never seen anyone at Grillby's dressed like-

Papyrus jumped hard as the water soaked his gloved hands. 

He grimaced, removing them from the disappointingly short sink. He’d been so caught up that he hadn’t even thought to free his hands. 

The lanky skeleton tutted, peeling the gloves off and throwing them to the counter at his side. He’d have to get a fresh pair later, after this was over. In one quick movement, he snatched the pan, starting to scrub again. 

If it wasn’t Grilby, nor anyone from Snowden then who was in the basement? 

The thought gnawed at him despite his attempts to claw it down. Maybe Sans had a secret friend? One that could always get into rooms with locked doors, and appeared when you least expect them? The thought of it made that prickly feeling snake up Papyrus’s spine, as if his own ‘secret friend’ were behind him. 

A cautious look confirmed he was not. 

The lanky skeleton sighed, rinsing the dustpan one more time before releasing the water. He started to dry off the ancient thing, watching as some of it’s paint crumbled beneath the towel. 

Even if this was a secret friend, Papyrus couldn’t wrap his head around the robes that were laid around the dust. The only ones he’d ever seen bearing that crest were the ones in-

He froze, a familiar unease spreading through this chest.

He cast a wary look over his shoulder, towards that abandoned blue room. There had been dresses like that down there. But, whether that was just the fashion here or if it held…. other significance was really up in the air. 

Either way, the pan was done, and he thought it was best to return to his brother. 

He started for his gloves before deciding against it. They were already soaked at the fingertips, and he’d rather not have anything more morbid marking them.

Instead, he scooped up the rest of the items and headed for the basement. 

———

Sans was exactly where Papyrus had left him.

It was a thought that should’ve been relieving, comforting even. One that stilled his soul beat to a manageable amount rather than increase it significantly. 

But Sans was EXACTLY as Papyrus had left him. Same dim grey eyelights, slightly unfocused and gazing through the wall rather than at it. Same ridiculously tense hands, still pointed with claws. Same curled position, skull half buried in his knees. He hadn’t readjusted in the slightest. 

“I’m back, I’m sorry I took abit longer than expected.”

Papyrus chirped, forcing down his unease and putting up a calm front. He carefully slid next to his brother, gently resting a hand on his skull. The shorter skeleton’s only response was a soft ‘mmph’ and the slightest of shrugs. Still, it was better than the rigid nothingness of before. 

“Sans, I think it would be a good idea to get her off the floor. Are you okay with that?”

The words came out slowly, more hesitantly than he would’ve liked. But he really wanted to be as gentle as possible! Something awful was happening, and the easier he could make this on his brother the better. 

They both needed that. 

Sans shrugged again, slightly stronger this time. His eyelights were still locked on the wall, but he’d started to uncurl alittle bit. He let his knees drop, falling into a crisscrossed position. His hands even relaxed for the moment, folding weakly in his lap.

“mhm.”

Papyrus nodded, biting down his unease. Sans needed him to be strong and calm, someone to walk him through something as awful as today. 

Even if that someone had no idea what he was doing. 

The taller skeleton unscrewed the lid of the jar, scooting ever closer to the remains. He could hear the soft click of glass on bone as his hands shook, despite his attempts to suppress them. He moved to get the dustpan, but was hindered by what he was already holding. Maybe if he- no. That wasn’t right either. 

“Sans, could you hold this? I’ll take care of everything else.”

He offered the jar, sad smile playing across his face for an instant. He’d hoped to try and keep the shorter of the two out of the ‘clean up’ as much as possible, but things weren’t really turning in their favor. 

“ok.”

That seemed to be Sans’s new favourite word. At least he seemed to be waking up from that awful stupor, gingerly taking the jar and resting it in his lap. Though, his eye lights were still cold and empty. Lifeless. 

Papyrus winced, choosing instead to focus on the task at hand. To be honest, he was not entirely sure how to proceed. There wasn’t just dust around the torn dress, it was also mixed inside and on top of it. He would have to get it out before they started to sweep. 

The taller skeleton scooted up until he was right next to her, sitting up on his knees to get a better vantage point. Ever so carefully, he pinched the least dusty part of the fabric and pulled it up. 

It was nearly impossible to not gag at the feeling. 

The fabric was gritty with silt, and little bits of it billowed up when he moved too fast. The smell had gotten so much worse, drowning him in a sea of decay and flower petals. It was so overwhelming that he nearly dropped the awful thing. 

But, someone had to do this. 

So, he held his breath and gave it a few good shakes. Thankfully, the remaining dust joined the rest of the remains. Either that or billowed out into the air before settling. 

Papyrus’s soul was hammering without the calming support of breathing, but he persisted. He scooted away, neatly folding the dress and putting it at his side. The action took a few tries, thanks to the garment’s size and heavy build. But he eventually got it done. 

It was still abit gritty, but he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to fix that. He wasn’t sure how any of this was going to fix anything. He wasn’t even sure what he was-

The skeleton allowed himself one breath to steady his thoughts. Just one step at a time. That’s how they were going to fix this. One step at a time. 

He retrieved the dustpan and brush, steadying himself. He could feel his claws digging into the handles, but there was little he could do to stop it. 

They were probably about halfway there right? He’d swept up messes larger than this before! In certainly less time than this!

Though, he supposed those messes weren’t made up of people. 

He shook the thought, gingerly sweeping a small pile into the dust pan. It felt wrong to be doing something so casual to something so… sacred? Morbid? He couldn’t find the words to properly describe the remains. 

This dust had once been a person. She had once been a person. Someone with hopes and dreams, passions and disappointments. Good days, bad days, thoughts, feelings, everything he held dear. All reduced to the pile of ash in his hands. 

His soul twisted painfully, and he had to look away from her. The skeleton could barely look his brother in the eyes as he carefully emptied the pan into the jar. Though, he doubted Sans’ lights held much to begin with. 

Papyrus forced himself to turn, getting back to work. 

After the first few scoops, it became a horrible routine: Sweep part of her up, slowly turn, gently empty the pan into the jar. All done with the utmost care. The last thing either brother needed was to be coated in her dust. 

Despite the monotony of it all, Papyrus found it difficult to keep himself together. Everything about this felt so wrong. This entire operation was so things would be better, so they could stop something awful from happening again. Life wasn’t supposed to get harder, at least not this drastically! They were supposed to be preventing tragedies, not stumbling into them. 

And here yet here he was, clearing out a strange woman’s dust and trying to figure out how to put the world back together. If not for himself, for his brother. 

Finally, the last load was emptied into the jar. They’d scraped up every loose particle they could, leaving only an empty spot of stone. It looked so innocent now, as if nothing bad had even happened there. 

Entirely normal. 

Papyrus shuddered, forcing his eyes elsewhere. Sans had actually scooted up, silently clutching the old jar. Silent tears had started up again, though Papyrus wasn’t entirely sure when. The shorter skeleton’s claws clinked softly against the glass, hands shaking nearly as hard as his brother’s. 

“Now then….”

The taller skeleton found himself at a loss for what to say. There was nothing he could say. Nothing he could do to make his brother feel even slightly better. It was a helplessness he loathed, an awful feeling that would slowly consume one if they weren’t careful. 

One step at a time right?

“Let’s go upstairs. That way we can sit at a table instead of on the ground like ruffians!”

He forced a smile towards his brother, wishing he could offer a more genuine one. Sans removed a hand from his vise grip on the jar to wipe at the tears. Only then did he weakly paw at the lid, as if just then remembering it needed to be returned to its proper place. 

“ok.”

Papyrus rose, letting his bones pop and crack. They were stiff from staying in such an uncomfortable position for too long. He collected their tools, waiting patiently for his brother to join him. 

No such effort came. 

The taller skeleton gave his brother a few more moments, watching for any sign of movement. Sans stayed put, just shaking and staring through the walls. 

It became evident rather quickly that the shorter skeleton wasn’t going anywhere on his own. Papyrus frowned, weighing his options. His brother didn’t seem to be in too much of a touchy mood, and he didn’t want to upset him further. But, on the other hand, if things were going to get better they both had to keep moving. 

Papyrus thought on it for a few more moments before swooping down to his brother’s level. He tested the water, gently wrapping his arms under the shorter skeleton’s armpits. 

No reaction. 

The taller skeleton lifted, dragging him up easily enough. They fell into their default, with Sans wrapping one arm around Papyrus’s shoulder and his legs wrapped around the hips. The only change was the jar, now awkwardly clutched to the smaller of the two’s chest. 

Papyrus didn’t mind having to provide the extra support, tucking the dustpan under his other arm so that he had a free hand. He used it to get a good grip on Sans’s knee, just in case. 

Once Sans was comfortably wrapped around him, the taller skeleton started off down the hallway, careful not to jostle his load too much. 

———

Papyrus dumped his brother into the chair with a dull thunk. 

The shorter skeleton landed with only the slightest grunt, the only noise he’d made since they came from the basement. 

It had been a tedious climb, and Papyrus had to admit it took a bit longer than he would’ve liked. Between constant adjustment, and nearly dropping the dustpan several times, they’d taken at least five minutes to actually climb the stairs. 

But, at the very least, they were here. 

His brother was comfortably sat at their dining table. And though his lights were out and he was wearing that vacant expression, it was a change. And now that that was done with, they could take another step forward!

“I’m going to make some coffee, I’ll be right back.”

Papyrus chirped, forcing a smile. Despite his shaking hands and steadily increasing soul beat, he was sure he was strong enough to provide. They both needed the normalcy of dinner right now, even if it was just a cup of coffee. He would’ve made some pasta, but that would take at least thirty minutes. Thirty minutes he should be spending helping his brother. 

And, though he’d never admit it, he really didn’t feel up to it right now. 

The taller skeleton turned sharply, dismissing those bad thoughts as he headed for the kitchen. He could not afford to start having a breakdown right now. Sans desperately needed someone to stay calm. He could take care of this baggage later, in private. 

The coffee machine was in one of the lower cabinets. It was a really old model, one that barely worked. But, thanks to some tinkering and testing, he’d gotten it into a manageable shape. He plugged it in, moving to go get the beans from the lower drawer-

He froze. 

Papyrus never liked to look at his hands when they were ungloved. The claws were always there to stare back at him, a taunting reminder that he wasn’t entirely in control. That was, unless he had to do something that required heavy use. Like cooking, or working on puzzles. Then, he had to look at them if his gloves were gone. 

Like right now. 

Now it wasn’t those sharp points that stopped his soul beat, forcing a startled noise from the very back of his throat. No, it wasn’t his hands that forced his eyes to catch, casting the world in a light cyan and yellow tint. 

It was what was on them. 

Thin, grainy powder had found its way in between the grooves of his bone. It was barely noticeable against the eggshell colouring of his body, but there. Now that he was paying attention, he could even feel its grit when he moved his fingers. 

Her dust was all over his hands. 

The skeleton’s breath hitched as he practically flew to the sink. He didn’t even make an attempt to get a bar of soap from the bathroom, opting instead to use the dish soap already here. 

He fiercely scrubbed, biting down the panic starting to build in his chest. He had to keep a straight head. He had to stay calm. He needed to be present and comforting for his brother’s sake. If he wasn’t-

Papyrus applied more soap, going as far as to dig his fingers between the metacarpals. It was borderline painful, but he didn’t care. He needed to fix this, he needed to get her off! It was the only way he’d be okay. 

After a second rinse off, he could still feel the slight grit of dust between the metacarpals. It was a sickening feeling, and he couldn’t believe he’d never noticed. More soap. That’s what could fix this.

The lanky skeleton had gone through nearly half a tube of dish soap before he was finally satisfied. His hands were tingly and a bit numb, but they were clean. 

Papyrus heaved a sigh, deciding to try and finish that coffee. 

One step at a time, that was what he had to remember. There was no need to get caught up in the panic of all this, he just had to keep moving forewords. Eventually it would be ok, so long as he kept his head about him. 

Even if his hands were shaking as he prepared the coffee. Even if he cringed at the noise of his claws clicking against the two mugs he’d numbly pulled from the cabinet. Even if he had to take a moment to softly breathe, pulling himself together enough to be presentable to his brother. 

The beep of the coffee machine startled him enough to hover for a moment. The skeleton reoriented himself, pressing his boots firmly into the ground as he poured their drinks. 

As much as he despised it, he fished through the cabinet to fetch Sans some sprinkles and condiments. Papyrus wasn’t entirely sure which his brother wanted, so he opted to grab a bottle of each. Sans had been favoring barbecue sauce as of late, so he made sure to grab two. That, and because they were running out of the shorter skeleton’s usual favourite. 

As for the taller skeleton, he didn’t want to waste anymore time in the kitchen. Normally he’d at least put a little milk and sweetener in his brew, but now was not the time. And, they were starting to run low on milk as well. 

Papyrus sucked in one last breath before departing, balancing the drinks and ‘add ons’ rather excellently.

Sans was staring through another wall. His eyelights had returned, though they were grey and distant, focusing anywhere but the dust. Strangely enough, the jar now rested at the middle of the table instead of the small skeleton’s lap. So, at the very least he’d moved a little bit. 

“Here you are brother, I wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted, so I brought everything!”

The taller skeleton chirped, hating how fake his enthusiasm felt. Though, he tried not to focus on it, instead carefully placing the cup next to Sans. It was followed by the bundle of condiments and the box of sprinkles. 

Sans grumbled out something that might’ve been a thanks, but it was impossible to tell. He barely moved, eyes still burning through the wall at his side.

Papyrus didn’t comment on it, sliding into his own seat. He took a long sip of his drink, ignoring the slight burn it left in his mandible. It was still very hot, considering it was still so fresh from the pot. But to be fair, that’s how Papyrus liked it.

He was a skeleton, so temperatures that apparently hurt other monsters didn’t bother him all that much. And, considering his lack of nerves, most sensations were numbed anyways. To actually be able to feel the heat of the coffee as opposed to focusing on its (rather bitter and drab) taste….

It was a rare bit of comfort in the tumbling sea of emotions that now filled him. 

He lowered the glass, casting a look at his brother. A small twinge of disappointment overtook his mood. Sans hadn’t even touched his mug, let alone the add ons next to it. He was just staring blankly at the steaming liquid, an almost confused look on his face. 

Papyrus opted to give him a few more moments, taking another long sip of coffee. They needed to take another step forewords, complete another task, do anything before they both got too caught up in their thoughts. 

The taller skeleton could already start to feel his breathing starting to quicken, the shake in his hands starting up again. He tried to look back on what he was supposed to do with dust once it was collected. That was clearly what they needed to do next! That’s how this was going to get better. 

“Where should we put her dust?”

The words slipped out before he had a chance to think them over. They were going to have to talk about it eventually… Maybe it would just be better to just do it now. Maybe things would start to look up when that closure was reached, when they both ran out of things to do and could breathe without worrying. 

“.... i dunno….”

Sans answered slowly, hands tensing up again. Those dim orbs finally met Papyrus’s sockets, staring through him. 

“Ah… well, I’m sure we can think of something together! What did she enjoy?”

The taller skeleton tried again, unable to hide the tenseness ebbing into his words. He’d been hoping Sans would meet his gaze, but he had not been expecting it to look so unsettling. 

There was barely any feeling in those greyed orbs. The little emotion he could see practically stung, a churning sea of everything and nothing all at once. They bore into him, slowly picking him apart before dropping the information entirely. 

“.... i dunno.”

Sans finally said with a shrug, dropping his eyes to the table again. Papyrus squirmed, biting down his frustration. Things were only going to get better if the BOTH tried to do this. Perhaps it was selfish, but the taller skeleton stubbornly clung to his game plan. This was just the next step. 

“Ah well… Do you know what she was interested in? Maybe if we go through what she liked, we can pin down her favourite thing. Then we can put together-“

“papyrus. i don’t want to talk about this.”

The taller skeleton froze, eyes rising from his drink to meet his brother’s. Those little grey dots had hardened, bearing an unfamiliarly desperate look. 

Papyrus felt his shoulders slump, guilt stabbing at his soul. He was pushing too hard again. He was dredging up awful feelings and thoughts. He was upsetting his brother in an attempt to make this all easier.

He was becoming the problem. 

The taller skeleton fiddled with the handle of the mug, trying to form the proper words. Of course Sans was going to need abit more time. Papyrus was staving off a breakdown, and he didn’t even know the monster! He couldn’t imagine what his brother had to be feeling right now. 

“Sans, I…. I’m so sorry, I-“

“‘s ok. let’s just…. not. ok?”

Papyrus nodded, still silently chiding himself for making such a grievous mistake twice. He wished he could at least properly apologize. But, he feared the possibility of upsetting his brother any more. 

At least the shorter skeleton wasn’t staring into him again. 

Sans’s gaze was pointed at the wall, eyes slowly returning to their bleariness. His hands had relaxed slightly, one sneaking up to support his skull. The other was wrapping lightly against the table, claws clicking softly into the wood. 

It was only then that Papyrus realized how exhausted his brother looked. 

Dark circles had deepened under his eyes, making them appear even more hollow. His vacant stare was accompanied by heavy brows and half opened eyes. Even the methodic drum of his fingers was sluggish. 

“Sans?”

Papyrus’s voice broke through the silence. It came out softer than he was used to, barely above a whisper. But, he couldn’t muster anything louder. 

“mhm?”

The shorter skeleton responded, eyes not shifting. Though, the soft wrap of his fingers ceased momentarily. 

“Would you like to sleep in the bed tonight?”

Papyrus knew it was a gamble. Sans had denied from the beginning that he needed anything special to sleep on. He’d claimed that he could sleep anywhere, which (to be fair) was practically true. Still, Papyrus knew that sleeping in a bed would feel a lot better. And his brother deserved to be comfortable, especially after today. 

Sans froze at the words, brow bones furrowing deeper. He seemed to weigh the options, fingers returning to their dance. 

“paps…. i don’t….” The protest stopped half way through, an almost confused look flashing behind the shorter skeleton’s eyes. 

“ok.”

Relief flooded Papyrus’s system, even earning itself a small, sad smile. As awful as this day had shaped out to be, maybe he’d at least be able to give his brother a few hours of comfort. 

And, hey. They’d managed to find a bright side!

Even if his hands were shaking, even if the world had suddenly gotten a lot harder, even if everything was falling apart. They’d found a bright side. 

Papyrus took another long sip of coffee, resigning himself to just be happy enough with that. It was all they really could do right now, until they figured out how to take another step forward. And Sans was going to need a little more time before that happened. 

Speaking of which, the shorter skeleton had begun to slump deeper against his hand. His eyes were still distant and hollow, but his lids had sunken further. Even the wrap of his fingers had slowed to a near halt. 

Papyrus lowered his mug. He knew the sight all too well. His brother was probably fighting to stay awake by now, considering his slowly retracting claws and sluggish movements. He usually got like this in the evening, even without having to endure such awful things. Had it not been for the jar of dust between them, the taller skeleton would have even called the scene normal. 

This time though, he didn’t nag his older brother about such laziness. 

No, today Papyrus simply stood, marching over to his brother’s side. He scooped the shorter skeleton up, maneuvering him into a half hold half hug position. From there it was moving one hand to support his femurs while using the other to hold onto his back. 

When Papyrus was done, Sans was facing towards his chest, chin resting idly on the skeleton’s shoulder. Papyrus could feel him tense for a moment before sinking into the hold, weakly wrapping his arms around his brother’s shoulders. 

Papyrus was already off, heading for the sunny hallway. His pace was brisk but smooth, not wanting to jostle his brother around too much. It only got a little bumpier than was preferred when they sped past the staircase. 

Just the sight of it made the shake in his hands worse. It was just looming there, idly waiting to cause another tragedy. He could even feel Sans’s breath hitch, rib cage rising a little shaper than before. 

He scurried into the hallway, neither of them needed that right now. 

The lanky skeleton hip checked his door, letting it bounce off the wall. A small stream of hallway light cut through the darkened room, only stopped by their shared shadow.

The room was… admittedly more torn up than he would’ve liked. Objects were still strewn about from his earlier attempts to find his brother. He almost expected a little quip about it, maybe even a corny pun about clothes or mess or anything. But he was only met with silence from his brother. 

Papyrus hadn’t expected to already be missing his antics this much. 

The taller skeleton shook the thought, fumbling his brother into the bed. Sans landed with a light whump, a small sigh escaping through his teeth. He remained on top of the covers, not even making an attempt to get under them or get comfortable. Though, truth be told, Papyrus wasn’t all too surprised by that. 

“There we are, brother! I’m sure this will be to your utmost satisfaction! Considering you are the ‘nap master’ and all!” 

He chirped, resting his still shaking hands on his hips. The shorter skeleton grunted something, but Papyrus didn’t quite catch it. He was too busy looking around for a place to sit until his brother nodded off. 

No such opportunities presented themselves, at least not ones that wouldn’t be accompanied by a painfully loud noise. The taller skeleton barely faltered, simply replicating the action of sitting in a chair right where he was. He pulled his legs up into a criss cross position, as if he were sitting on the ground. Instead, he hovered there, parallel to the bedside. 

“wait pap..... where’re you gonna sleep….”

The taller skeleton startled slightly, turning his attention back to his brother. Sans had actually settled abit, rolling onto his stomach and practically burying his face into the pillow. One eye socket was visible, one that was currently blearily staring at Papyrus. It was half lidded and dim at best, a clear indication the shorter skeleton was fighting to remain conscious. 

“Oh, I’ll find somewhere! I’ve been wanting to try and make a blanket fort for awhile now anyways!”

Papyrus reassured, giving the blanket beside his brother a soft pat. He forced a smile, despite the creeping feeling that he probably wasn’t going to hold true to his words. 

“Goodnight Sans.”

He finally added, making sure to speak softly. The shorter skeleton gazed up at him for a moment longer before finally letting his lid slide shut. 

“g’night”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, this chapter was going to come out sooner, but my final draft was around 70 pages long. Which would’ve been a fucking beast to try to drag on. So!! I decided to split it up again! The next chapter will be out tomorrow, I have to edit it ever so slightly! 
> 
> Anyways, on to the chapter summary!!!
> 
> CHAPTER SUMMARY  
> ——————————
> 
> After finding Sans downstairs, Papyrus struggles with what exactly he needs to do. He presses his brother on what happened, but ends up only ends up getting cold, distant responses. 
> 
> There’s a horrible second where Papyrus wonders if Sans killed this person before he learns that it is not the case. Sans lets on that she was a woman whom he was very close with, and that he found the dust. 
> 
> Deciding the best option would be to try and clean this up and talk more on it alittle later, Papyrus heads upstairs. He finds an empty snail jar and a dustpan to do the deed well enough. But, he still decides to clean them up a little bit. 
> 
> While washing the pan, he goes through the list in his head over who all this could be and how they could have got down there. He concludes he has absolutely no idea who it is, and decides to save those questions for later. 
> 
> In the meantime, he goes downstairs to clean up the dust. 
> 
> Once that’s done with, he heads upstairs, this time with Sans in tow. After dropping the shorter skeleton at the table, Pap heads for the kitchen to make coffee. While there he works himself into quite the tizzy over having dust on his hands, washing them far to many times. 
> 
> Once that’s done with, he sips at his coffee while Sans continues to be very quite and distant. After a long period of silence, Pap starts to ask about funeral preparations. Sans is the opposite of ready for that and shuts it down real fast. 
> 
> Sans is starting to tucker out by now, nearly falling asleep at the table. So Pap decides it’s bed time and carries his brother to bed. They banter a little bit before Sans finally slips off, Papyrus still sitting at his bedside.


	10. NOCEUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noceur - Noun - Somebody who stays up far too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! So this is a wee bit late! School work took up abit more time then I was hoping, but its done!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> Emotional manipulation, fear mongering, and a very very toxic friendship
> 
> Chapter summary at the end!

Papyrus sighed, slipping into the living room. 

Sans had drifted off quickly, as expected. But, the taller skeleton had stayed for abit longer just to be sure. 

That was all about thirty minutes ago, and now he was alone. 

The house was still, a deathly silence that ebbed at the edges of one's soul. He’d turned off most of the lights, leaving only a few lamps and the fading glow of the windows.

The Ruins didn’t have any natural sunlight, but the few ceiling torches and occasional crack provided well enough. Both dimmed as whatever sun was outside sank, casting the catacombs into a desolate shadow. 

The dreary atmosphere certainly fit his mood. 

He lingered in the door way, heaving a small sigh. Sans was fast asleep, no other monsters were around, and the world had fallen into that lonely hush. He could finally let all these awful emotions wash over him. He could finally cry and hug himself, finally process what he’d gone through.

It was an old technique he'd mastered over the years. He’d allow himself a brief moment of devastation, then smile and pick himself back up. Then, on those silent lonely nights when the rest of the world slept, he could process and evaluate in peace. He could allow himself to breakdown without anyone else having to be brought down or put off.

And yet, the tears wouldn’t come. 

Try as he might to think this over, Papyrus just felt detached. As if these shaking hands and finicky soul beat were not his own. Perhaps he had held out too long this time, forced it down until he couldn’t bring it back up. 

The skeleton groaned, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He probably just needed some time. This should-be horrifying numbness would wear off eventually. 

In the meantime, he’d clean up. 

The table was still full from his attempt at dinner. The two mugs were interwoven within a small forest of condiment bottles, with the jar of dust sat in the middle. He glared at it, trying to stir up any feelings on the matter. 

The best he could conjure was a deep, disenent sorrow. A borderline pity, only deepened by the fact that he and his brother had gotten involved. He had to admit he wished that Sans had never stumbled upon whoever was in the jar, that someone else could’ve found and known what to do with her. 

It was such an awful thought, and he silently scolded himself for even considering it. 

It was unfair to her and his brother. They clearly had known each other well. And while Sans would probably be so much happier without the knowledge of her death, it would also be wrong to wish for him to live in ignorance. 

Papyrus sighed, sliding into his seat at the table. At least that was one feeling sort of dealt with. And, while he still felt disconnected, it was starting to fade abit.

He absentmindedly sipped at his remaining coffee. It had grown rather cold, and he doubted he’d even register it as anything but a steady flow of magic had it not been for the bitter taste. 

He really shouldn’t be drinking anything caffeinated. Despite the exhaustion starting to weigh in his skull, Papyrus knew it would keep him up all night. It always did if he drank it this late in the day, even if he practiced moderation. He lowered the mug, eyeing it for but a moment. 

A laugh almost escaped him as he brought it back to his teeth, taking a defiant sip. 

Truth be told, Papyrus knew sleep wasn’t going to take him tonight. It never did when he had this much on the mind, no matter how tired he was ahead of time. And if he did, well…

A full mind yielded it’s way to the worst of his nightmares. 

And, if he intended on being strong enough to take care of things, then he couldn’t risk waking up screaming, or running, or in an awfully cold sweat. No, he’d rather stay awake tonight. 

He had a lot to do anyways! If he was going to think through all these slowly connecting feelings, clean the house, AND prepare a plan of what he was going to do next, then why bother with something as meager as sleep? He should start on clean up anyways, that way he could-

He froze. 

Papyrus felt him before he heard him. A sharp, familiar prickle stabbing across the skeleton’s spine. The immense feeling of being watched, eyed by some unseen force. It was enough to force one’s breath from their throat, to make a soul stop in it’s chest. He didn’t even need to turn around to know who was behind him. 

“Howdy Papyrus! It’s been an awful long time, hasn’t it?”

His voice rang out, all but confirming the lanky skeleton’s suspicions. It was high, sickeningly sweet yet sharp. The kind of voice you always remembered after you heard it, for something was always ever so slightly off about it. 

“Flowey! Yes, yes it has!”

Papyrus exclaimed, whipping around so hard that he nearly knocked over his seat. Even the strange discontent plaguing him did little to stifle the excitement that was kick starting his system. 

He almost didn’t believe what lay ahead of him. That familiar friendly face was grinning up at him with those shiny white teeth. The flower had burrowed his way through the floorboards, slightly cracking the wooden slab he’d pushed out of his way. Papyrus chose to worry about it later, just relieved to finally have something good happen. 

“Where on earth have you been! I’ve been worried sick!”

He concluded, hands resting on his hips as he stood. Much to Papyrus’s dismay, flower’s smile dropped at the words, petals drooping a bit. He slumped forewords on his stem, a small pout forming on his face.

“Aw gee Papyrus, I’m sorry. I just feel horrible about disappearing like that!”

The skeleton faltered, excitement dying within him. His feelings were already mixed over the flower’s reappearance. Yes it was great to see him again, but it was also a really bad time. 

Still, he couldn’t let Flowey know how upsetting that disappearing act had been. Papyrus couldn’t risk losing him again-

“Oh! Don’t be! I’ve already forgiven you!” 

The skeleton chirped out, quickly waving his hands in a dismisitory motion. They were still shaking quite abit, as much as he tried to suppress it. Maybe Flowey wouldn’t notice….

“Besides, being away from the Great Papyrus must have been awful enough! I’m just happy to see you again!”

It was true. Even with how overwhelmed and exhausted this day had left him, it felt good to see a friendly face. It was a bright side. A chance that something better was on the horizon.

Which made it all the better when the flower perked back up, a grin on his face and what was almost a shine in those hollow, black eyes. 

They always intrigued Papyrus, those shiny black orbs. No matter the flower's body language, words, or expression, they remained vacant and unfeeling. They had actually freaked him out at one time, but he’d gotten used to those little stabs of dread that always accompanied his petalled companion. If one was too hasty to let someone’s flaws turn them away, then they would never make any friends!

“Oh Papyrus, you’re too nice to me!” 

Flowey chimed, breaking Papyrus from his thoughts. The flower was bobbing on his stem, the usual smile returning to his face.

“Now, tell me what you’ve been up to!” He mused, stretching his stem closer towards the skeleton, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in the Ruins!”

“Ah well-“ Papyrus paused, attempting to figure out where to begin. So much had happened in the past twenty-hours, let alone the five days they had already been living here. And then there was the entire four months his flowery friend had been gone. It was a huge gamble over how much Flowey actually knew too, which made this all so much more difficult. 

“-Me and Sans actually just moved in!” He finally added, an admittedly slightly forced smile brimming on his teeth, “I’ll have to show you around the house some time! It’s still a work in progress, but you should’ve seen it before I went to work on it. It seems I am not only a master puzzle-ter, but I’m also an incredible home decorator!”

He let out a slightly strained laugh, moving to sit on his knees next to where the flower had come through the floor. The skeleton added in more than a few dramatic sweeps towards the house as he moved. They were more sluggish than he would’ve liked, despite the nervous energy running through him.

“Oh? I thought you two loved Snowden, why’d’ja leave?”

The flower’s word’s words forced Papyrus to falter, smile straining ever so slightly. Surely it was common news that a human had fallen by now, surely it was even commoner that Undyne had…. ‘harvested’ them. 

He cringed slightly at the terminology. 

Anyhoo, how could it be that Flowey was in the dark about such things? He always knew everything about what was going on, sometimes even before it happened! Maybe where ever he’d gone had prevented him from seeing such things? Or maybe Undyne had kept the entire betrayal under wraps? 

Yes. It had to be something like that. 

“Ah… yes well, we were both in the mood for a change of scenery! You know, this place is just full of puzzles-“ He lied, struggling to find it within himself to make it convincing. The world was starting to press in again, the buzzing disconnect suffocating his thoughts. 

“Papyrus….” The flower tutted, an almost pitiful look crossing his face. It sent shivers down the skeleton’s spine, an old, quaking dread filling him as the flower continued. “You really-“

“Undyne and I had… well… we had a bad fight.”

Papyrus cut him off, eyes lowering to the roots pushing through his freshly swept floor. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had lied to begin with. Flowey always found out these things, it would be better if he heard it from the ‘traitor’’s mouth. That way, the story couldn’t be all jumbled. 

“I’m sorry that I lied, I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just that I thought you probably wouldn't like the answer and-“ He cut himself off with a strange waving motion, a signal that even he couldn’t make sense of.

“Undyne and I got into a…. a disagreement over a truly awful decision she made. And Sans and I decided it would just be better to go away for a little while, that way no one would ever have to make such an awful decision again! Because we would be there to make the decision for them.”

He finished, lowering his hands from the mad dance they’d made to accompany such passionate words. A sigh escaped his nasal cavity, finally moving to meet the flower’s eyes. 

Flowey was just sitting idly, face twisted in thought for but a second. Then, like elastic, it snapped back to its usual smile. This time it was a pitiful one, a few stray vines even sneaking up to give the skeleton’s shoulders a reassuring squeeze. 

“Golly Papyrus, that sounds awful! No wonder you look so bad!” He crooned, leaning closer on the stem. The vines tightened, remaining gentle but snaking further down his arms. 

“I… I beg your pardon…?” Papyrus squeaked out before his brain caught up, brow bones furrowing slightly. He sure felt bad, but look it? Unlikely! He was nearly always the most handsome and charming person in the room, even when he was so spacey and shaky!

“Yeah! I wasn’t going to mention it, but you look like you’ve just seen something horrible!” Flowey chirped, looking up with widened black eyes. He paused a moment, bobbing lightly as his brows furrowed. Finally after a brief silence, he turned back to the skeleton, a slightly suspicious look crossing his face “...Nothing else happened, did it?”

Papyrus felt himself go rigid, hands stiffening in his lap. His body moved on it’s own accord, shifting in an attempt to conceal the dust from the flower’s waiting eyes. He always knew everything…. but the lanky skeleton really wanted to keep this between his brother and himself for the time being. Just until they figured everything out-

“Well, you really are going to have to be more specific!”

He chirped, forcing his shoulders to relax and his smile to brighten. He shut off his breathing, despite his soul’s hammering protests. Lying was easier when he wasn’t so overwhelmed, but he managed well enough. He’d done this same song and dance enough times to possibly throw off Flowey’s scent.

“But, if you really must hear about everything, then I suppose it is only my duty to tell you!” He trumpeted, turning the gravity off on his scarf so it fluttered dramatically behind him. He would’ve raised a triumphant hand to his chest as well, if his fingers weren’t so tense. His only tell-

“Let’s see…. I last saw you four months ago, so that means our first important event would have to be…. the Science Fair in Snowden!” He retraced his memory, forcing the smile to remain proud on his face despite how much it stung to remember home. 

“The school wanted to do something fun, so they had all the children do these flashy presentations in the middle of town. Normally they’d have the Royal Scientist help but… she’s on vacation,“ He settled in, making sure to keep up the entertaining gestures and quips. “So instead, they had a bunch of volunteers! I offered up my services, of course, but apparently flames and spikes aren’t considered child friendly. Which is honestly a load of malarkey, considering-“

“Woah woah!” Flowey chimed in, ruffling his petals abit, “I don’t need to hear all of it, silly! I just want to know if anything bad happened.”

Papyrus let out a bordering on nervous laugh, trying to keep his smile up. Drat, it seemed his efforts weren’t as effective as previously hoped. He squirmed again, keeping the flower’s eyes locked on him. 

“Well, I already told you about Undyne didn’t I?” Her name stung to say, but he kept up the chipper tone. He had to. “Well, aside from that little issue, everything is going great! Sans and I are adjusting so well, and the house is turning out stupendous- I even started a garden! There’s this huge tree and everything! And… And I’m sure everyone here is going to love to talk to us soon! Once they get a chance to know us better!”

It all forced its way through his mandible, starting as a convincing lie before devolving into something closer to a desperate rant. He struggled to hold his smile, still futilely trying to hold the illusion of normalcy. It was a borderline delusional hope to think that Flowey wouldn’t notice his shaking form, or growing exhaustion, or even the dust so poorly hidden behind him. 

“Oh Papyrus…..” 

The flower cooed, extending his stem to be closer to the skeleton. He wore a pitiful expression, friendly smile melting into a stern grin. As if he were talking to a child. 

“You’re not lying again are you?” 

Papyrus felt the vines tighten around his shoulders. They had crept up further, wrapping all the way to his neck and elbows. He was sure the steadily applying pressure was meant to mimic a comforting hug, but those thorns were still starting to prick painfully at his bone. 

“Of course not! That would be a very un-best-friend like thing for me to do!” He squeaked, feeling the rest of his body join his hands in rigidness. 

“And you know that you can tell me ANYTHING, right?” The flower continued, rising further on his stem to meet the skeleton’s eyes. “Because we’re best friends, and I would support you no matter what.”

“Yes of course, but-“ The vines got ever so slightly tighter, starting to push through his sleeves. Papyrus felt his breath return with a hitch, nearly squirming. Something stopped him, an odd feeling that if he resisted this ‘hug’ it would only get tighter. 

“And because we’re such great pals, I’m going to forgive you for lying so much!” The flower finally chirped, though the vines didn’t loosen any. “But, only if you tell me what REALLY happened.”

Papyrus fell silent for a moment, weighing his options. Finally, he heaved out a small sigh, eyes flicking to the floor. The cracks on the wood had deepened considerably, stained by the surplus of slim vines poking from under it. 

“Alright.”

It was only then that the vines released, allowing his body to relax. The skeleton slumped forward a little, rubbing at the back of his neck. It was sore, any patches of exposed bone speckled in small scratches. He supposed turtlenecks and long sleeves were going to have to be in fashion for awhile. 

“Er…. So….” Papyrus sighed through his nasal cavity, trying to get his thoughts together. The day had been so overwhelmingly filled that he struggled to figure where to start. 

Ultimately, he decided it’d just be easiest to start from when they’d first come here. 

From there it was a long winded rant about cleaning the house and starting on his garden. About how things had started to look up, and all the new friends he’d made, about how it had all fallen apart. About what was in the basement, about how he didn’t know what he should or could do. 

Of course he left out a few details. That wasn’t technically lying, so it held up his end! Mostly about Sans, and his current plights. It didn’t seem fair to tell, considering the shorter skeleton barely opened up to his own brother, let alone some strange flower. 

Inevitably though, it was all out.

Papyrus raised his eyes, nearly winded from such a spiel. Flowey sat idoly, having sunk down to normal height somewhere in the rant. A thoughtful look contorted his features, eyes even more distant than before. He’d been utterly silent the entire time, intently listening to such a woeful tale. 

It made Papyrus squirm, a small hint of anxiety wracking his already overwhelmed soul. What if the flower decided that this was all too much as well? What if he was left all alone again? What if Flowey decided to go to Undyne, rat them out now that someone had been hurt. What if-

“So that’s where she went!”

The flower finally chirped out, the usual smile creeping across his face. His eyes almost sparkled, the smallest hint of what was nearly emotion. They always did that whenever he was scheming. 

Both those words and that notion were enough to make Papyrus’s soul twist in his chest. 

“Did… Did you know her as well?” 

His voice came out strained, lacking its usual gusto. He didn’t try to force it in anymore, far more concerned about his guest’s involvement in this mess. 

“You could say that!” The flower chirped, bobbing along to his words, “We used to talk all the time, back in that sunny spot!”

Papyrus felt himself lean forewords, listening intently. As exhausting as this all was, the temptation of finally getting some answers was more than tantalizing. 

It was really rather cruel to ask, considering this mysterious woman had just met such an unfortunate end. But, the flower really didn’t seem all that torn up about this! It could’ve been coping of course, considering the slight strain on his smile. Though, that could also be chalked up to how unreadable his face already was. 

“I’m sorry Flowey, I had no idea-” 

He finally settled on, extending a hand to give the flower a little pat. Vines swatted his hand away just before he made contact, earning a small frown. 

“Don’t be, silly!” The plant let out a small chuckle, sending shivers down the skeleton’s spine. “I really didn’t care for her, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened anyway!”

“Flowey, that’s awful!” 

The words broke from Papyrus’s mouth before he could stop them. A wave of pity was washing over him, though he couldn’t entirely place whom for anymore. 

“Oh I don’t know,” The flower mused, a small smirk crossing his face, “You didn’t know her, did you?”

“....Admittedly no, but still!” The skeleton cawed, moving his hands in a slightly exasperated motion. “It’s very rude to speak about someone who’s JUST dusted like that!”

“You’re full of so many funny ideas Papyrus!” The flower continued, bobbing along playfully as if they weren’t discussing such a serious topic. “Why should I talk about someone differently just because they’re dead?”

Papyrus paused, lowering his hands. It felt so strange to be having such trivial, casual discussions over something so morbid. At least his hands were shaking less and the restless thumping in his soul was quieting slightly. 

“Well… I suppose you really shouldn’t…” He chose his words carefully, moving from sitting on his knees to a criss cross position, “But, you also shouldn’t say mean things about people without their knowledge!”

“Even if those ‘mean things’ are true?” Flowey purred, pushing his words as more of a statement than a question. He rolled back slightly on his stem, grin softening just abit. 

“I’m sure they weren’t.” Papyrus corrected, words coming out much more sharp than he was anticipating. 

“Why are you defending her?” The flower retorted, raising a cynical brow at the skeleton, “You don’t know anything about her!”

“So tell me.”

The words slipped out before Papyrus could even attempt to stop them. Flowey had a point. He knew nothing about this mystery woman aside from that she knew his brother. Perhaps it was honor, or respect? He couldn’t shake the feeling that she would’ve wanted to be defended.

Still, demanding to know more was probably too far. This had to be at least a little painful for Flowey, despite his apparent distaste in the woman. She had still died, and that had to at least mean something-

His thoughts were cut short by the soft giggling of his companion. The flower looked a little bewildered, almost amused. He was slumped on his stem, another fit of chilly laughter escaping him. 

“Golly, Papyrus… Where do I start!” Flowey got out through his giggles, that wiry smile crossing his face. “Well, for one, she was a stubborn old goat! You could never sway her from doing something, no matter how idiotic or selfish it was!”

The flower kept his smile, despite how awful his words were. Papyrus couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably, nearly casting a look behind him at the dust. He supposed this wasn’t REALLY talking behind her back, and it truly was a tantalizing opportunity to know more about her. And he had asked for-

“She was ignorant too!” 

Flowey’s clear voice broke through the skeleton’s thoughts, grabbing his attention once again. 

“No matter how much you proved her wrong, she’d refuse to believe it!” The flower continued, smile starting to give way to a grimace. Something stormy played behind those hollow eyes, an almost emotion that could’ve been anything from anger to sadness.

“No matter what!” He continued, the shadows in his eyes deepening, “Even if the ENTIRE Underground said she was wrong, she would still selfishly insist she was right!”

“She was so annoying!” The flicker was gone as soon as it had appeared, replaced by a slightly strained smile. “You know… I’ll bet she’s the reason everyone here is so antsy to talk to you guys!”

“How’s that?” Papyrus asked, feeling his head cock. His eyebrows had started to knit, a slight frown finding its way across his teeth. 

That accusation just felt unfair. 

Yes, he could believe the other things Flowey had told him, as mean as they were. But why would any of her behavior affect the way these new monsters saw two completely unrelated skeletons? He supposed they might know Sans, considering his connection with this lady. But that also didn’t make too much sense. 

Yes, Sans could teleport. But they’d both learned how hard it was on him when he went somewhere so new!

The taller skeleton shuddered, remembering how weak his brother had gotten on their trip here. It had felt as if he would fall apart at any second, right there in Papyrus’s arms. There was a small chance the shorter skeleton could make the jump easily on his own, albeit with the aid of proper food and rest, but that also would’ve weakened it’s later effect on him!

“Yeah! She ruled over this place with an iron fist!” The flower continued, snatching back the skeleton’s attention. “Golly, was everybody afraid of her! And to think she called herself a ‘caretaker’!”

The flower giggled, an almost nostalgic look crossing his smile, “Honestly, I don’t know what your brother saw in her…”

Papyrus leaned in more, eyes fixated on his friend. As wrong, and mean, and horrible as this all felt, they were actually getting somewhere. Plus, he was sure there was more to this woman than her flaws! And, once he’d learned them, he could use that to figure out her positives! Then, he could prove it to Flowey, and return her honor! Everybody had at least a little bit of good in them after all-

“You know…. Maybe it’d be better to ask HIM about this.” The flower continued after a rather lengthy silence, “He was one of the few people who could actually stand to get close to her after all!”

“Ah… well, he’s kind of napping right now! But, I suppose I can later!” Papyrus chirped, voice coming out far more meager than he would’ve liked. Admittedly, he wasn’t going to do that. Eventually of course, but right now his brother needed time and space. As worrying as it all was, Papyrus had certainly learned his lesson….

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve EVER heard you not complaining about napping!” The flower mused, a small smirk crossing his face.

“Well, as lazy as it is to nap all night-“ He fiddled with his fingers, eyes shifting towards the floor, “...I’ve decided that I’ll let him. He’s had a really bad day after all!” 

“So have you, silly!” The flower paused his bouncing, a pity filled smile crossing his face. “You should hit the hay too! You look awfully tired!”

The skeleton almost laughed, sending a small glare over his shoulders to the coffee. It was a ludicrous idea. With all he’d learned, all he’d need to do…. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways. 

“Oh no, I’m really fine! The Great Papyrus doesn’t need to sleep!” He forced his posture upright, an admittedly weary smile crossing his face. “I’ve got far too many great things to do! Like talk to you! And the dishes!”

“Oh nonsense!” The flower shot back with equal persistence, “Here, I’ll head out so you can get some rest.”

Papyrus felt his souls drop, a frown crossing his face. That had not been his intended result, far from it! He wasn’t entirely liking the idea of being alone again, even if being with someone entailed arguments, or gossip, or even really tight hugs! 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that! Really, I’m-“

“Sleep well, Papyrus!” The flower mused, already starting to retreat into cracks in the floor. “I’ll see you around, ok?”

“Wait, it’s really-“ The skeleton started, extending an admittedly desperate hand towards the hole. But the flower was already gone, burrowed below the soil in instants. “-fine….”

And just like that, he was alone. 

Papyrus rocked back on his pelvis, leaning heavily on his arms. It made the small nicks on his arms burn, but he tried to ignore it. A sigh escaped him, a sea of conflicting emotions rolling over him. 

He could vaguely pick out a sorrow, maybe some annoyance. Helplessness was there too, as much as he resented it. There was even a brief bit of happiness, though he couldn’t place if that was because he’d gotten to talk to an old friend or because that old friend had just left. 

Mostly though, it was exhaustion. 

Papyrus almost considered taking a nap, but the restless buz that was filling him begged to differ. There was just too much to do, and not enough time to do it. He fully intended on picking apart each and everyone of the emotions rolling around in his skull, and that would take time. 

But first, he had a kitchen to clean and a floor to fix. 

A bleary look to the window revealed it was dark by now, which gave him only about seven or so hours to do this. Maybe less if Sans had a nightmare. And, he didn’t want his brother waking up to a messy house. 

So, he hauled himself up, knees popping as he stood. His legs and back had grown a bit sore, but he pressed it down. It was just another feeling to process later. 

Right now, he had things to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, this is one of my weaker chapters. I’m still not entirely happy with it, but really don’t know how to fix it. But, hey, practice makes perfect, right? Also I got to write about Flowey, which is always a major plus! I love to hate that little shit.
> 
> Also!!! Nearly 700 hits! Thank you so much to all those reading! It is much appreciated! 
> 
> Next chapter will be out within the next 2 weeks, but I’m meeting my deadline this time if it kills me!
> 
> Anyways, Chapters Summary!!!:
> 
> Papyrus, feeling rather overwhelmed and exhausted, decides to try and sort out his thoughts in the living room. Much to his (attempted) dismay, he discovers he is heavily detached emotionally and can’t force himself to work through this right now. Instead, he decides to clean the table. 
> 
> This results in some contemplative coffee drinking, and trying to sort out his feelings on all of this. They aren’t coming easy, and he’s just decided to stay up all night to get everything done when a very familiar voice rings out behind him. 
> 
> Flowey is there, poking through the floor boards and smiley as ever. 
> 
> Naturally, Papyrus is elated to see a familiar (and friendly) face, and they get to chatting. After some diversions, guilt tripping, and vines, Flowey manages to (litterly) squeeze an information dump out of Papyrus. 
> 
> Flowey comforts him before revealing that he knew this mysterious door lady. Papyrus manages to get some information out of his petalled companion. Apparently the flower is not fond of her, and calls her a lot of mean names, effectively further confusing Papyrus’s feelings. 
> 
> Flowey leaves once the topic turns elsewhere, explaining that Paps needs to get his rest as much as his brother does. 
> 
> Feeling conflicted and lonely, Papyrus elects to go with his original game plan and start clean up. He’s planning on patching up the floor as the chapter closes.


	11. Over the Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Undyne makes an enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? I actually published on time? Heck yeah broskis!!! 
> 
> Also hOLY shit 900 hits?!? 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, leaving kudos, commenting, all of it! I love you very much!
> 
> Anyhoo, onto the chapter!

Undyne’s brows furrowed, jaw setting into a frown. 

It had taken five days, countless dead ends, and enough turn arounds to make a head spin, but the dogs had finally found the end of the scent trail. Yet, the tedious journey felt more and more useless as the queen took in what they had found. 

A door loomed ahead, ancient and proud. An awning stretched above it, useless to stop the snow that had piled in front of the entrance. Huge black walls stretched out at either side, disappearing into the surrounding woods, teasing at how massive the labyrinth inside must be. The entire structure was crumbling, and yet the door still stubbornly held firm. Despite having been kicked at least three times now.

“You’re sure this is it?” The queen grumbled, not needing to turn to the hounds at her left. 

The Dogi had thankfully returned to the search only yesterday, though they were more hesitant than Undyne would’ve liked. But, she honestly couldn’t blame their lack of enthusiasm. She’d be pissed too if one of her senses were stolen for that long. The patch covering her eye was enough proof of that. 

“Positive ma’am!” Doggamy barked, breaking the queen from her brooding thoughts. “(Our noses never lie.)” His partner followed, snow crunching under her paws as she walked up further, “(They’re in there.)”

Undyne nodded slowly, eye tracing the cracks once again. It seemed impossible, considering how shut tight that door was. The walls nearly stretched up to the ceiling, and she had to strain her neck to even get the lightest glance at the roof. It would’ve been idiotic to try and climb them, borderline impossible. 

But Papyrus had done a lot of impossible things as of late. 

The queen sighed, watching her clouded breath seep out in front of her. Just thinking his name made her feel restless, a sharp pang of guilt shooting through her soul. They’re last interaction started to replay in her head, all the things she could’ve said or done instead-

She shook it off, steeling her gaze towards the door. The queen refused to let it BE her and Papyrus’s last interaction. He was going to let her explain herself, even if she had to chase him through the entire damn Underground. Then, he could pull this whole disappearing act if he was still so insistent!

“We’re going in.”

She growled out her words, gills flaring at the new challenge. One of the dogs at her sides let out a confused whine, though she wasn’t paying enough attention to discern which. 

She extended a hand slightly, feeling her fingers buzz with the magic shooting through them. The air popped softly next to her hand , electricity sparking to life. From there, the spear formed smoothly, falling perfecting into her waiting palm. 

A smile almost found its way to the queen’s lips as she thrust her arm forwards in a sweeping motion. The snow crunched as she adjusted her feet into a battle position, hair whipping around in the suddenly staticy air. She lined up her aim and….

BAM

A series of smaller, less physical spears shot forewords, ramming into the door and walls surrounding it. Another row followed it, hitting with even more virocity than the last. Snow flew from the awning, mixing with years of grime that was suddenly forced into the air. 

After one more powerful strike, Undyne lowered her weapon… only for the almost-a-smile to fade into a confused grimace. 

The door still stood. 

The old cracks had deepened, a few new ones even scarring the building’s surface. The snow had fallen from the awning, and the pillars seemed to have taken the worst of it all. But it still stood, refusing to bow even after all that. 

Undyne’s sneer deepened, the spear crackling in her hands. Perhaps she had just misjudged how hard she was hitting it? Maybe it was just a hell of a lot sturdier than she had first considered?

Either way, it was pissing her off. 

The queen kicked her weapon, using the momentum to flip it into an even more powerful thrust. A fresh row of blades formed around her, slamming into the damned structure harder than the last. 

Then another, and another, and another.

This time, she was sure to make them hurt. Each row was packed with force, slamming as hard as she could manage with every strike. 

And yet, when the dust cleared and the spears stopped, the door still stood. 

Undyne’s eye twitched, fins sinking. It made no sense. She was certain it would be enough to bring down any normal stone wall, hell, probably enough to bring down multiple stone walls! And yet it still had the audacity to stand. 

She snarled, feeling the air buzz with electricity. Her gills flared as she thrust the spear forewords again, pouring a ridiculous amount of magic into the strike. 

The world exploded around her. 

This time there were no pauses between the waves of spears. They hit her target one after another, some even splitting through the others. 

But she wasn’t done. 

She slashed the spear again, sending a wave shooting through the ground and into the structure. Snow and dirt exploded out in clumps, and distantly she could hear a dog yelp. 

Finally, after three more shots, the queen lowered her weapon. Her gills flared, shoulders rising and falling with a heavy pant. A stray strand of hair fell across her face, brows furrowing in disbelief.

The door. Still. Stood. 

One of the pillars had been shattered, barely staying up. The awning was crooked, the rune across its top practically illegible thanks to all the new cracks. The door itself now held scorch marks and fresh scars, a few cracks even steaming. 

But, it still refused to bow. 

The spear in Undyne’s hand crackled fiercely, the only sound in the painfully silent forest. Rage boiled within her, flashing fiercely behind her eyes. She had thrown everything at the damn door! And it STILL was standing stubbornly upright. 

With an angered yell, she finally charged the offending structure. She took a running jump at the thing, slashing at it with a refreshed vigor. 

Her spear practically bounced off the stone, barely scraping against its surface. She skidded in the snow, shifting her weight to jab at it again. 

Faintly, Undyne noticed the sound of snow crunching behind her as the hounds advanced. Even fainter was the sound of their efforts on the walls next to her. She only gave each a moment's notice before returning to her furious stabbing. 

Her weapon kept on bouncing uselessly away from the surface, unnaturally so. She was barely even leaving scratches, even when striking hard enough to leave her arms aching. 

That was alright…. She could attack from a different angle. 

Undyne leaned backwards, putting all of her weight on her back leg. Drawing her spear back, she lined up her shot. Then in one fluid motion she threw all of her weight forward, thrusting forth her weapon with all the momentum. 

The spear tip lodged into the slit between the two doors with a solid sounding crack. 

A cruel grin spread across the queen’s lips as she snatched at the handle of the weapon. She shoved harder, until the blade was half buried. Finally, she shifted her weight, heaving horizontally this time. 

If this door wouldn’t bow, she’d make sure it crumbled. 

Her heels dug into the destroyed dirt, a small grunt escaping her throat as she pushed. She had to get in. She had to save him. She had to fix this. She refused to lose anyone else-

SNAP

Undyne barreled into the mangled landscape, barely managing to brace herself against her forearms. She snarled out a curse, shooting an angry look back up at the door. 

Half of her newly broken spear was still wedged there, shattered at the hilt. The other half was somewhere under her, sticking painfully at her hip. She didn’t bother to move it, taking the moment instead to catch her breath and try to calm down. 

Her muscles had started to ache, the exhaustion that normally accompanied a hard workout starting to push through her. A feeling she normally adored, when it was earned. But now it was pathetic, to be wiped out by something as easy as knocking down a door. 

A frustratingly unbreakable door. 

Then again, hiking around Snowden forest and getting less than satisfactory sleep may have helped in the matter. 

Either way, she had somehow managed to tire herself on this damn door. Popping it open hadn’t worked, knocking it down hadn’t worked, maybe if they attacked the walls around it?

The queen finally cast her gaze towards the hounds. Her little army had followed the charge, attacking the impressively tall walls. It would’ve been an almost amusing sight, had it not been for the situation leading up to it. 

The Dogi were launching a duel attack on a particularly large crack. One would strike at the wall, followed quickly by the other in an almost hypnotic pattern. And yet, they barely made a scratch on the ancient stone. 

Undyne sighed, twisting to try and see how Lesser was fairing. It had found it’s spot on the opposite side. It seemed to have given up on slashing at the wall, opting instead to try and stretch its neck to see over the roof. The poor pup had only managed a few yards, a confused look on it’s barely visible face. 

Thankfully, none of the dogs had noticed her failure yet. What with Lesser’s head in the clouds and the Dogi’s poor eyesight. That meant some more time to think over a plan without any interruptions. 

She sat up onto her knees, furiously brushing away the snow covering the front of her coat. Brute force hadn’t worked, but there had to be another option. She was not losing her only lead because of something as stupid as a jammed old door!

Something about that thought didn’t sit right. 

She shook it off, chewing at the inside of her lip. Maybe they didn’t have enough fire power. Not magically of course, she was one of the strongest monsters in the Underground and still couldn’t break the damn thing. 

But maybe a bomb? Something with enough concentrated power in one strike? Then again, the only people she knew could make bombs were either missing or dead-

The queen tightened her jaw, shutting the thought down before it finished. She could afford to think about her right now. About her nervous grin, or long winded rambles, or the way she always adjusted her glasses-

Undyne gritted her teeth, fighting back the clawing feeling in her chest. She couldn’t afford to think about this! She couldn’t afford to let it consume her, not now. She couldn’t afford to let her guard- her subjects see her falter. 

She couldn’t afford to be weak. 

Undyne grabbed at the spear end that was still rammed in the door, using it to hoist herself up. It was much less solid than before, barely even humming against her hand. 

She grumbled under her breath, debating whether or not to just let it go. On one hand, she hated the idea of losing any ground against the wretched structure. It wouldn’t really do anything, but at the very least she’d be-

Her thoughts were shattered by a firm bump to the shoulder, right in her blind spot. She wheeled around, not caring to admit how hard she jumped. The starts of a growled out ‘What?’ nearly slipped past her lips-

Lesser dog was gazing up at her with its big, puppy dog eyes. It’s neck had stretched out to her, head tilted ever so slightly. An almost concerned whine filled the air as its body finally caught up. 

The growl died in Undyne’s throat, shoulders slumping slightly. So much for not looking weak, huh? She straightened her posture, trying to recover some of her regal air. 

“I’m fine.”

She stared down at it sternly, trying to brush the snow and mud from her arms. It stung at her exposed hands, only working to deepen the frown crossing her face. 

The clang of twin axes on stone stopped behind her, accompanied by the soft crunch of their owners’ foot falls. The queen turned towards the approaching dogs, painfully taking in the apprehension of their features. 

She straightened, attempting to slip into a more professional (and productive) mindset. The hounds were watching her now, waiting for an order or command. Anything they could possibly be doing. 

“This isn’t working.” She offered flatly, resting her startlingly twitchy hands on her hips. It was such a hopeless statement that it left a bad taste in her mouth.

“At least, not yet.” She recovered, attempting to spark some fire in her soldiers. “We will, we just have to come at it from a different angle! With some fresh ideas and new strategies! And once we do that….”

A toothy grin spread across her face, a soft chuckle reverberating through her. “We’re gonna hit this thing so hard, they’ll be feeling it in the Capital!”

“But first,” The queen’s voice softened, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. “I’m going to go do some planning. You all are dismissed.” 

Her efforts were rewarded with two hesitant ‘Yes ma’am’s and a bark. There was a brief moment of tense silence before Lesser bolted off, apparently rather excited about whatever lunch plans it held. 

Undyne watched it go before turning her attention to the remaining hounds. The two were exchanging a look, expressions far more uneasy than she would’ve liked. Even after another two moments, they remained stubbornly by her side. 

“You know, we’re heading to Grilby’s for lunch...” Dogamy finally spoke up, brow set and a frown on his face. “(...If you’d like to come along.)” His partner finished, her face stern despite the kind words. “(If you need somebody to talk to…)”

Undyne tensed slightly, admittedly caught off guard. It was almost laughable. Here she was, Caption of the Guard, Queen of the Underground, The Empress of Monsterkind, having two of her soldiers trying to comfort her. It was astoundingly unprofessional, not to mention absurd and… And she almost wanted to accept. 

“No thanks. I’ve got a lot of work to get done.” 

She finally responded, flashing an apologetic grin. She was a monarch. She had a nation (that she’d admittedly been neglecting) to run. She had a door to break down. And none of that was going to get done if she was chumming it up at a bar. It was selfish to even consider otherwise. 

The Dogi exchanged another look, this time a slight bit of concern flashing between both pairs of eyes. It made Undyne fight to not grit her teeth, claws starting to dig into her hips. 

“Alright… See you tomorrow.” Dogamy finally spoke up, grabbing his wife’s hand and turning to leave. She gazed sternly at the queen for but a moment, musing a soft, “(We’re here if you need anything…)” Before finally turning and leaving. 

Undyne watched them go, exhaling sharply. 

Now that she was alone, she slumped slightly, leaning against one of the wretched pillars. The spear still jammed into the door faded, falling away into loose magic before dispersing into the air. 

The snow and mud covering her exposed hands had begun to sting, leaving her fingers numb. She found herself wishing she had thought to bring some mittens. 

Instead, she shoved her hands into the pockets of the ratty parka she had dug out of the dump. Considering she barely left New Home these days, it really hadn’t been necessary to find anything nice. Plus, if she was going to Snowden, it would’ve been to visit Papyrus-

Would’ve. 

She cast another bitter glance to the door. Something was off about it. Magic bounced off it as smoothly as water against plastic, and physical attacks did little better. It almost reminded her of a smaller, weaker barrier. 

The thought made her shudder. All that mattered was that it stood between her and her chance to make things right with Papyrus. And that was downright unacceptable. 

She nodded to herself, deciding not to waste anymore time staring at the damn thing. She hadn’t been lying….

There was a lot of work to be done. 

———————

Snowed Inn had always been a cozy place. The rooms were kept warm, if not a bit cramped, and the beds comfortable enough for a hotel. Even the lobby was homely, with a couch cozy enough to drift off on. 

But, the fame of the inn could be put to two simple things: 

Firstly, there was the breakfast. It came complementary with a visit, and could be found sitting outside of one’s room each morning. Always two cinnamon bunnies, slathered in icing and with a small advertisement for the shop next door under the plate. It always somehow managed to be piping hot, no matter what time you opened the door. 

Secondly, and the variable Undyne greatly preferred, was the Innkeeper herself.

She took optimal care of the place, working as everything from receptionist to room service to head maid. But what she was best known for, was how she was sweeter than the buns her sister served for breakfast every morning. 

The Innkeeper had a habit of waving the fairs for rooms, or at the very least offered a heavy discount for those who were particularly down on their luck. No matter the insistence of her guest, the bunny stubbornly refused the money. Usually offering up some cinnamon buns instead. 

Undyne, unfortunately, happened to be one of those guests.

She’d forgotten to bring gold the first night, and had been too caught up to properly calculate exactly what was owed. Instead, she and the Innkeep decided to pay off dues when this was all said and done. Even if the bunny was still stubborn about accepting money for ‘helping out where she could’.

And yet, their agreement did little to quell the guilt in the queen’s chest as she approached the little inn.

She was taking up a bed, one that could easily make a good buck. And now she was staying even longer than anticipated, scheezing the poor rabbit out of even more of her well earned cash. 

The queen grimaced, burrowing deeper into the parka. The walk home had been a long, cold one. Snow stuck her, occasionally clouding her vision and leaving the crown at her side frigid to the touch. The wind had picked up, chilling her even through the heavy coat. 

Needless to say, the warm lights seeping out the windows looked more and more tempting by the minute.

She quickened her pace, finally coming to the tidy red door leading into the cottage. Kicking the snow from her boots, she swung it open, hurrying inside despite any previous apprehension. 

The cozy lobby was as she’d left it that morning, with the heat running full blast and filled with a comfortable, lulling silence. The same amber coloured walls and lightly stained carpet greeted her, as well as the massive watercolour of New Home. The Innkeeper was still sat at the reception desk, softly scolding the tiny bun at her side. 

There was only one difference. One that immediately put a smile on Undyne’s face, the wickedly wide kind that hadn’t appeared in far too long. 

Sat on that painfully cozy couch was an old tortoise. His beak was open, face contorted in a series of guffawing laughs. A snagged, old claw found its way up, waving in a dismissive motion. 

“Don’cha worry about it missy, the youngin isn’t botherin’ me one bit.” He finally got out, still chuckling a little to himself.

He opened his mouth to say something else, before taking notice of Undyne. The tortoise’s eye lit up, a look of fondness blazing behind it. His crooked smile widened, forcing his beak and eyes to scrunch for room. 

“There ya are guppy, I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“Gerson! What the heck are you doing all the way out here?” The queen cut to the chase, the slightly bewildered grin growing on her face. While she was borderline giddy to see him again, the more she thought about it, the less sense it made. 

The tortoise was cold sensitive, as herself, and tended to stick as far away from the extremes as possible. Even if he was wrapped up in the frumpiest old cloak she’d ever seen, she couldn’t think of a good reason to come out to Snowden.

Unless…

Her suspicions were confirmed the second his smile wavored, claw moving to pat the sofa seat next to him. “Word’s gotten ‘round about your man-hunt, kid. I thought I might as well lend a claw.”

Undyne fought off a grimace, staying put. She knew the old tortoise well enough to recognize the lie. He hadn’t gone to help the guard since he’d retired as it’s Captain. Not during recruitment day, not during training, not even when the human came through. There was an altier motive here. 

And considering the all too familiar patient, expectant look he was giving her…. She had a good idea what that motive was. 

“Eh, I’ve got it covered!” The queen concluded, with an admittedly mock confidence. She grinned, raising her eyebrows playfully before adding, “And here I was, thinking you were enjoying retirement!”

The turtle eyed her for a moment before chuckling. The smile had returned, hands folding back to their previous position on his lap. Though, an almost suspicious light was playing behind his eye, barring into her. “You’ve made a mighty good point there guppy… Let’s go get some of those treats next door! Make my visit worthwhile?”

Undyne was tempted to accept. It’d been ages since she’d gotten to talk with the old guy, and even longer since they’d actually hung out. He certainly seemed worried about her, so if she could stamp that down…. And, it might’ve been nice to chill out for a little bit, eat food that was far too sweet for her tastes, maybe even feel normal for a few hours…..

That was, if she didn’t have so much work to do. 

There was an entire stack of paperwork she had to file, and an even bigger stack getting dropped off this afternoon by 01 and 02. Then there was the monthly address that she hadn’t even begun to prepare for, and the growing issues with the capitol... Not to mention her main concern of breaking down that stupid fucking door-

That stupid fucking door. That stupid… ancient, seemingly unbreakable, possibly magical door. 

The starts of an excuse died in her throat, an idea starting to brew. A smirk crossed her face, hands finding their place on her hips. 

“You know…. I actually might have something you can help me on.”

He cocked an eyebrow, intrigue playing behind that golden eye. A mischievous smile blossomed on his face as he leaned forewords, “Oh? I thought I should be enjoying my retirement.”

“Do you want the job or not?” Undyne scoffed, despite the growing smile on her face. A plan had started to form now, a possibility that she’d be breaking into that damn ruin a lot sooner than anticipated. 

A laugh shook the tortoise’s frame, an old energy starting to awake in his movements. A full toothed smile met her as he tilted his head back up. “Of course guppy, but maybe tell me what I’m doin’ first.”

“I need you to check something out for me.” Her brows furrowed, struggling to find exactly the right words, “Tell me the history and all that stuff.” 

She strode over with a newfound energy despite her sore muscles, extending a hand “Here, I’ll show you. It’s only a short walk from here!”

The tortoise glanced at her hand, then back to her. His smile turned to a smirk as he took the help, raising his brows slightly. “And then some Cinna-bunnies?”

Undyne rolled her eye, heaving him up easily enough. Though, she felt better than she had in weeks, maybe even months. 

“And then some ‘cinna-bunnies’.”

———————

Undyne tapped her foot, shivering against the wind. She was admittedly getting a bit impatient, what with freezing her ass off and everything. But, she kept her mouth shut. This WAS a favour after all…

Gerson had been examining the door for at least ten minutes now. He was currently rubbing his claws against the rune for about the umptienth time. Usually from here he would back up, take in the whole structure again, make a weird noise then go back to the pillars. Or the door. Or even the wall beside it. 

And then he’d repeat the same process again. And again. And again. 

It felt awful to admit she wished he’d hurry up abit. She just couldn’t wait to get in there! To finally end this nightmare and HOPEFULLY make things be a little more normal. At the very least she was going to-

“So, you said ya hit it with lots’a strong attacks, right?” He called back to her, completely breaking the queen from her thoughts. 

“Yeah, somewhere between thirty and forty spears.” She affirmed, approaching quickly, “Barely even knocked down a pillar.”

“Mhm….” The tortoise nodded, deep into some unknown thoughts. Finally, he lowered the claw resting on his chin, looking up at her with a startling amount of pride. “I’m surprised you even managed that!”

Undyne raised a brow, a slightly bewildered look crossing her face. “Excuse me?”

Gerson waved a claw at her, still grinning. “This thing’s got quite the magical seal on it! Wards off your attacks n’ all that. I’m guessing your pups only put scratches on it?”

Undyne nodded slowly, starting to catch on. She shot a glare at the door, brows furrowing slightly. Warding off attacks, eh? That certainly explained the damn thing’s resilience.

“Ok, so how do I knock it down?” She asked, already starting to think up possible solutions. It warded off attacks, but wasn’t immune. If she it it hard enough, it was sure to come down! Or maybe if she used her physical strength-

“Truth be told guppy… I haven’t the slightest idea!” The tortoise turned to the door, crossing his arms. “Been a long time since I’ve seen anything like this! Might not even be possible!”

Undyne cast him an agitated look, deflating a little. ‘Not possible’ wasn’t exactly an option right now, especially with what was on the line… who was on the line.

Finally, she straightened, glaring daggers at the damn thing, “Well there’s gotta be SOME way! You said magical attacks wouldn’t work, right? What if I just kick it really hard?”

The tortoise actually chuckled, giving her a little pat on the back. “I don’t know guppy… But there is a pretty good chance that that isn’t gonna work out either.”

Undyne sighed, glowering at the newest bain of her existence. If magical attacks didn’t work, and physical attacks didn’t work…. Then how the hell was she going to get in? And why was there even a ‘magical seal’ on the entrance to Old Home? And how did Papyrus even get in?

All the questions made her head buzz, a fresh batch of anger boiling in her chest. She had been SO close to fixing all this… Only for another curveball to smack her in the face-

A gentle claw wrapped around her arm, snapping her from her frustrating thoughts.

Gerson stared up at her, eyebrows raised and a fierce smile on his face. Fire played behind his eye, despite how carefully he was holding her arm. 

“Ya know, I’ll look into this for you. I’m sure I’m just forgetin’ something er other...” A new strength had found its way into his voice, mixing well with the reassurance. “In the meantime, you keep at this door. If anyone can knock it down, it’s you.”

Undyne tensed, glancing between his claw and his face. After a moment the smallest of smiles started to spread across her face. 

Of course, it had never been a question over whether or not she was going to try and obliterate that door. But, the reassurance was definitely… good? Validating? Relieving? She couldn’t quite place the feeling. 

“Thanks.” Was the best she could manage, as lack luster as it was. 

The tortoise grinned, giving her a soft pat on the arm before letting go. “Don’t mention it! Now…” That mischievous look was back, still prevalent as he turned back towards the path. “Let’s eat some of those Cinna-bunnies! We BOTH deserve a break!”

He laughed, starting to walk without waiting for her. She watched him go, staying still for just a moment. The wind blew around her, forcing the crown at her hip sway slightly. 

The queen shot the door one last glare before heading after him. She had promises to keep, even with all the work that needed to be done. But, perhaps this little break wouldn’t be too bad. 

After all, she was going to need to rest if she was going to bring down her newest opponent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I know the ending was a little weak. I’m sorry, I’ll work on that. 
> 
> On the bright side, we get what I like to call an ‘Updyne’ (Undyne update)! These are usually my favorite to write because I get to fuel my absolute admiration for a lot of the non-mains lMAO. 
> 
> Anyhoo, next chapter will be out in about 3 weeks because of work. Also: I have to make a map for this one ;). 
> 
> Have a good night yall!
> 
> (Edit): Ok so: I was really unhappy with the ending of this chapter and did a secondary proof read. It’s fixed now, I think it’s a hell of a lot better than what I first put out. Quality over Quantity kids. Quality over Quantity

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is done! We did it folks! In case y’all were wondering, this fic is a continuation of the neutral run where Frisk kills Toriel and at least 10 other monsters. That’s why Undyne is so hopping mad lmao. Just thought I should clarify which Queen Undyne ending it is :)


End file.
